Scheduling and family beach house

[Anonymous]

I would rather pay for a beach house than deal with siblings who act like this. If the house is becoming a wedge between you all, it's time to sell it.

My siblings and I all rent a big house together. It's awesome. I'd never want to own one. Having a huge house with all the cousins running around like crazy is the highlight of the year. Sell the house, put the money in a rental fund, and maybe plan a trip TOGETHER to remind yourselves why you like each other. Or maybe to remind yourself why you don't vacation together...

[Anonymous]

Just curious - does the sibling living closest to the house do the majority of work in maintaining the property itself?

[Anonymous]

I don't get why August is so much more sought after than July? Camps run all summer. The weather is nice in July. What am I missing? Do you work for congress?

[Anonymous]

OK. At first I was all sympathetic to you. Then I got to the part where camps are what are preventing you from going in July. That's a poor excuse. You need to be a little flexible.

I liked one of the earlier suggestions on everyone getting a month and it rotating every year. That seems fair to everyone and will lead to less resentment.

[Anonymous]

I think switching years of who gets to chose first is a good idea and sounds fair. Just b/c one sibling is further away doesn't mean they should get the same weeks every single year. Kids have July/August off, so why can't they go in July one year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a family beach house - bought by parents but now sadly one is dead and the other requires 24/7 nursing care. My siblings and I use the house each summer with our families. It's really only big enough for one family at a time, so we have to switch off. We have no set process for scheduling times - some one just sends around an email each spring asking for specific dates and the others usually respond in turn. Unfortunately, it's beginning to lead to frictions and I don't know if there's a better way.

Part of the problem is that the constraints of each sibling are different - one sibling is very close by, while others are 4/5 hrs or as long as a 10/11hr drive away. The sibling who lives close to the beach house has no kids, so in theory can use the can use the house whenever the mood strikes (in reality their spouse will only go when there's good beach weather.) The sibling who lives furthest away generally only comes once per summer for a 2 week stretch. The ones w/4hr drive usually take the house for a couple of weekends and week/10-day stretches.

The siblings that live at a greater distance have to work vacation time around kids - school calendar, summer sports, camp availability, etc. Inevitably they prefer August and pre-Labor Day. Close-by sibling without kids is getting pissed about this and staking claims to early August weekends on principle. It's worth mentioning that the close-by sibling is the front line family member for our remaining parent.

How would you resolve?

Sell it, divide the profits. The longer you keep it, paint, new roof, water heaters, flooring, etc. are going to need to be replaced. Who is going to oversee all that and getting the money for the upkeep. It rarely works, best to get rid of it and let everyone find their own place down the road.

[Anonymous]

Why can't you guys divvy up August? Each of you gets at least one week in August and every third year you get two August weeks. In the other years you can get the last week in July and first week in August.

You prefer August but could make do with other times, right? You just don't want to go to the beach in a week when the kids could be in camp. But that's about convenience, not utter necessity. Does 4-hour-away sibling have kids?