Drinking problem or harmless fun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My girlfriend used to never drink but she has changed the past 6 months. It started out with her drinking wine and I guess enjoying it. The past few months she drinks every weekend, usually 2-4 glasses. Sometimes we are home, other times we are out. She gets tipsy but not blacked out or anything. I asked her and she said she enjoys the taste, and enjoys being able to let loose. She is a student so we do have stressful weeks. We are both 26.

OP: Dump this Harlot now, she is in the clutches of the pagan god of revelry Dionysius. There is no turning back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would worry that she did not drink before and now is drinking. Sometimes people with past problems will not drink. The problems can be relatives who have drinking problems or a drink problem themselves. They worry/know they will develop a drinking problem so they do not drink. When they drink they like it. The like the taste is a problem also. Have a mellow weekend and see if she drinks/needs a drink. Don't listen to the pro drinking post. A lot of them have problems but will defend drink to the end.

I think pp has hit on it. Lots of young people party a lot and then grow out of it. It's the change in behavior which raises questions. OP, does she have relatives with addiction problems? Then I would worry.

[Anonymous]

As an oldie, some grow out of it, some don't. Who cares either way, enjoy the ride, don't judge, be present and surround yourself with those who share your beliefs.

[Anonymous]

I'm a recovering alcoholic sober for 12 years. The amount doesn't seem like much to me but if there are serious negative consequences then it's an issue. If she just enjoys it to relax and it isn't causing a major problem then chill out bro.

[Anonymous]

My man, have you met some of the chicks in this town? One time, I met a Harvard grad who nearly fell asleep on a paper plate in Jumbo Slice. You ain't got nothing to worry about. Welcome to the big city!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the amount is a big deal, it isn't really that much, but I'd be more concerned about the change from minimal to no driniking to what she is doing now ... kind of a sudden change, right?? Is anything else going on?

If I was dating the sort of guy who'd run to DCUM to ask all the mommies if 2 glasses of wine on a Saturday night = drinking problem, I'd probably start reaching for the bottle as well.

And it wouldn't be wine. Probably patron.

[Anonymous]

Does she get any friskier when she's been drinking?
If so, I'd buy her wine for her

[Anonymous]

Why isn't she honest ? It's not the taste it's the buzz. It's why some people become alcoholics.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Some of you are very rude. I am concerned because her dad is an drunk, and she never wanted to drink because of that. She is having hard time in her life right now, and thats when the drinking began. The amount varies. This past weekend she drank a botte of wine each, on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. The weekend before it was a bottle spit between two nights. The weekend before was 3 nights in a row of a bottle of wine. Im concerned she may develop a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-4 glasses per session, or over the course of a weekend? Four is a lot at one time, otherwise it's fine.

She normally will drink both Friday and Saturday night. Sometimes it's half a bottle, sometimes it the entire bottle.

Entire bottle in one evening? This is a little different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Some of you are very rude. I am concerned because her dad is an drunk, and she never wanted to drink because of that. She is having hard time in her life right now, and thats when the drinking began. The amount varies. This past weekend she drank a botte of wine each, on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. The weekend before it was a bottle spit between two nights. The weekend before was 3 nights in a row of a bottle of wine. Im concerned she may develop a problem.

Um, don't you think the fact that her father is an alcoholic is a vital piece of information that you should have shared with us in your first post? Without this info, your post seemed hand-wringy and disproportionately fearful, which probably why you think we were being "rude".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Some of you are very rude. I am concerned because her dad is an drunk, and she never wanted to drink because of that. She is having hard time in her life right now, and thats when the drinking began. The amount varies. This past weekend she drank a botte of wine each, on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. The weekend before it was a bottle spit between two nights. The weekend before was 3 nights in a row of a bottle of wine. Im concerned she may develop a problem.

12:48 again. Oh, oh, oh - this is a huge red flag. OP, you may want to try some Al-Anon meetings. All that's required to attend an Al-Anon meeting is being concerned about a family or friend's drinking. The usual suggestion is to try six different meetings to see if it works for you and to try different meetings to see which one works best for you. You can learn more there and get support if you need it. But the reality is, as concerned as you are about her, you can't make her cut back on drinking. She has to want to do it herself.

The family thing is key, though. My parents and my brother were alcoholics. I got into the program early and quit drinking before I ever got in a bad place and my kid grew up in an alcohol free home but became an alcoholic herself in college. Fortunately she knew the family history and when she realized she was going the same direction, she started going to AA. I just say all this to warn you that having an immediate family member who's an addict doesn't guarantee that you will be an addict, too (my sister drinks normally for example) but if someone is drinking a lot and it also runs in the family, it's not a good sign.

I can tell you care a lot about your girlfriend. I hope she comes to some clarity soon. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Some of you are very rude. I am concerned because her dad is an drunk, and she never wanted to drink because of that. She is having hard time in her life right now, and thats when the drinking began. The amount varies. This past weekend she drank a botte of wine each, on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. The weekend before it was a bottle spit between two nights. The weekend before was 3 nights in a row of a bottle of wine. Im concerned she may develop a problem.

New information!! Yes, there is a change in her life, she's having difficulties and using the wine to "fix" it ...

And yes, whole bottle by herself -- 3 nights in a row -- is a lot. A LOT. And an alcoholic dad is a big deal. And, again, the fact that she is having a hard time in her life right now ... she is using the alcohol to self-medicate. Yes, you should be concerned.

Somebody above suggested Al-Anon. Go. Read. Learn.

[Anonymous]

Just about everyone I know has 2-4 drinks on weekend nights. Not cause for concern at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't drink so I can't say what is appropriate amounts or not.

Then why post?