Drinking problem or harmless fun?

[Anonymous]

I would worry that she did not drink before and now is drinking. Sometimes people with past problems will not drink. The problems can be relatives who have drinking problems or a drink problem themselves. They worry/know they will develop a drinking problem so they do not drink. When they drink they like it. The like the taste is a problem also. Have a mellow weekend and see if she drinks/needs a drink. Don't listen to the pro drinking post. A lot of them have problems but will defend drink to the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would worry that she did not drink before and now is drinking. Sometimes people with past problems will not drink. The problems can be relatives who have drinking problems or a drink problem themselves. They worry/know they will develop a drinking problem so they do not drink. When they drink they like it. The like the taste is a problem also. Have a mellow weekend and see if she drinks/needs a drink. Don't listen to the pro drinking post. A lot of them have problems but will defend drink to the end.

It sounds like you believe that drinking any amount, ever, is a sign of a problem. If OP feels the same way, he's not a good match for this woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should break up with her, and give her a chance to find a normal guy who won't be concern-trolling her for having TWO glasses of wine on a weekend night. Christ.

My thoughts exactly. What a fucking bore.

[Anonymous]

Two to four glasses per week is utterly unremarkable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should break up with her, and give her a chance to find a normal guy who won't be concern-trolling her for having TWO glasses of wine on a weekend night. Christ.

My thoughts exactly. What a fucking bore.

Perhaps she started drinking bc you're a bore? Maybe she's hoping you'll let loose with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2-4 glasses on a weekend night doesn't seem like very much to me. When I was 26 I was getting wasted maybe 2-3 nights a week. It was never a problem for me, did well at my job and in law school, most of my friends and boyfriend (now DH) drank just as much. I rarely drink now. Is her drinking causing problems in her life? With her job? Is she getting drunk and violent towards you?

Getting wasted 2-3 nights a week may be "normal" for our society but it is still alcohol abuse. Many "normal" people abuse alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't black out. Is she having any other problems caused by her drinking?

That's not the only symptom of an issue? Binging in general is unhealthy.

Not healthy, but not a drinking problem aka dependence or abuse. Lots of people binge in college but never develop abuse or dependence issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-4 glasses on a weekend night doesn't seem like very much to me. When I was 26 I was getting wasted maybe 2-3 nights a week. It was never a problem for me, did well at my job and in law school, most of my friends and boyfriend (now DH) drank just as much. I rarely drink now. Is her drinking causing problems in her life? With her job? Is she getting drunk and violent towards you?

Getting wasted 2-3 nights a week may be "normal" for our society but it is still alcohol abuse. Many "normal" people abuse alcohol.

2 -4 glasses isn't wasted

[Anonymous]

I'd drink more than that if I were dating this guy.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the amount is a big deal, it isn't really that much, but I'd be more concerned about the change from minimal to no driniking to what she is doing now ... kind of a sudden change, right?? Is anything else going on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the amount is a big deal, it isn't really that much, but I'd be more concerned about the change from minimal to no driniking to what she is doing now ... kind of a sudden change, right?? Is anything else going on?

If I was dating the sort of guy who'd run to DCUM to ask all the mommies if 2 glasses of wine on a Saturday night = drinking problem, I'd probably start reaching for the bottle as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-4 glasses on a weekend night doesn't seem like very much to me. When I was 26 I was getting wasted maybe 2-3 nights a week. It was never a problem for me, did well at my job and in law school, most of my friends and boyfriend (now DH) drank just as much. I rarely drink now. Is her drinking causing problems in her life? With her job? Is she getting drunk and violent towards you?

Getting wasted 2-3 nights a week may be "normal" for our society but it is still alcohol abuse. Many "normal" people abuse alcohol.

2 -4 glasses isn't wasted

If I drank 4 glasses of wine id be wasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should break up with her, and give her a chance to find a normal guy who won't be concern-trolling her for having TWO glasses of wine on a weekend night. Christ.

My thoughts exactly. What a fucking bore.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:2-4 glasses on a weekend night doesn't seem like very much to me. When I was 26 I was getting wasted maybe 2-3 nights a week. It was never a problem for me, did well at my job and in law school, most of my friends and boyfriend (now DH) drank just as much. I rarely drink now. Is her drinking causing problems in her life? With her job? Is she getting drunk and violent towards you?

Getting wasted 2-3 nights a week may be "normal" for our society but it is still alcohol abuse. Many "normal" people abuse alcohol.

2 -4 glasses isn't wasted

OP hasn't really explained anymore, but 4 glasses a night is excessive if it happens regularly.

And the response was to PP who was talking about being wasted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't black out. Is she having any other problems caused by her drinking?

That's not the only symptom of an issue? Binging in general is unhealthy.

Not healthy, but not a drinking problem aka dependence or abuse. Lots of people binge in college but never develop abuse or dependence issues.

It doesn't have to be dependence to be a problem. But I can't really tell from the original post how much drinking is actually going on.