Whats the most hurtful thing a sibling ever did to do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One time my sister left me stranded at our homecoming. She was my ride home and I got stood up so I sat in the back of the gym for 3 hours waiting for the dance to be over. When I walked to the car she wouldn't let me in and drove off with all her friends laughing in my face.

She was also thinking about dumping the bucket of pig's blood on you, but decided at the last moment that would be going too far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD suffers from anxiety. It's pretty severe. My sister concocted a plan for DD to move in with her a few thousand miles away, thinking that she'd be a better role model and provide a more stable environment. She wanted DD to live with her throughout high school. I'm happily married to my children's father, DD is in therapy and on medication, and we're seeing progress. Not exactly an unstable environment.
My sister continues making bad choices with men, has been in an abusive relationship, has bipolar disorder and a dui. It's not her fault that she has bipolar disorder or that her ex bf was a dick, but I would never dream of putting anxiety ridden DD in that kind of environment. When I told her no thanks, she flipped out and called DD disturbed and said that no one takes her opinions seriously as the aunt. Wtf. We've barely spoken since then.

This episode sounds like a symptom of your sister's mental illness. I don't think she deliberately set out to hurt you. While I'm sure it was upsetting to you and possibly frightening to your daughter, I don't know why you would personalize it rather than look at it as a bipolar episode. People with bipolar often think they have a godlike ability to "save" others.

For the first 20 years of that, I sucked it up and said that's just how she is. Then for the next 10, I sucked it up and said she's probably bipolar. Then for another 4 years I knew she was bipolar and felt like even though she'd seek treatment sporadically, she couldn't help herself. The last year has been too much. I can't deal with it anymore. It sucks, but that's where I am. And it's ok for me to feel that way. I have a limit for how many mental disorders I can help people with at one time, and right now DD and her anxiety are my concern. Especially since my sister has chosen to stop treatment and self medicate with alcohol, and endanger herself and everyone else on the road.

Of course it's okay to feel that way! Anyone would feel that way. You take care of yourself and your family first. But the point was that the title of this thread is "What's the most hurtful thing a sib ever did to you?" I don't think this was a deliberate attempt to hurt you. Stopping treatment, having attacks of grandiosity, etc. are not deliberate focused attempts to hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD suffers from anxiety. It's pretty severe. My sister concocted a plan for DD to move in with her a few thousand miles away, thinking that she'd be a better role model and provide a more stable environment. She wanted DD to live with her throughout high school. I'm happily married to my children's father, DD is in therapy and on medication, and we're seeing progress. Not exactly an unstable environment.
My sister continues making bad choices with men, has been in an abusive relationship, has bipolar disorder and a dui. It's not her fault that she has bipolar disorder or that her ex bf was a dick, but I would never dream of putting anxiety ridden DD in that kind of environment. When I told her no thanks, she flipped out and called DD disturbed and said that no one takes her opinions seriously as the aunt. Wtf. We've barely spoken since then.

This episode sounds like a symptom of your sister's mental illness. I don't think she deliberately set out to hurt you. While I'm sure it was upsetting to you and possibly frightening to your daughter, I don't know why you would personalize it rather than look at it as a bipolar episode. People with bipolar often think they have a godlike ability to "save" others.

For the first 20 years of that, I sucked it up and said that's just how she is. Then for the next 10, I sucked it up and said she's probably bipolar. Then for another 4 years I knew she was bipolar and felt like even though she'd seek treatment sporadically, she couldn't help herself. The last year has been too much. I can't deal with it anymore. It sucks, but that's where I am. And it's ok for me to feel that way. I have a limit for how many mental disorders I can help people with at one time, and right now DD and her anxiety are my concern. Especially since my sister has chosen to stop treatment and self medicate with alcohol, and endanger herself and everyone else on the road.

Of course it's okay to feel that way! Anyone would feel that way. You take care of yourself and your family first. But the point was that the title of this thread is "What's the most hurtful thing a sib ever did to you?" I don't think this was a deliberate attempt to hurt you. Stopping treatment, having attacks of grandiosity, etc. are not deliberate focused attempts to hurt you.

Yup.

I'm sorry your sister is ill, and I'm sorry it's caused stress in your life. But she is ill with a very serious disease, one that is notoriously hard to manage. She is probably doing the best she can with the resources she has right now. Apparently family who is willing to help her is not one of those resources.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD suffers from anxiety. It's pretty severe. My sister concocted a plan for DD to move in with her a few thousand miles away, thinking that she'd be a better role model and provide a more stable environment. She wanted DD to live with her throughout high school. I'm happily married to my children's father, DD is in therapy and on medication, and we're seeing progress. Not exactly an unstable environment.
My sister continues making bad choices with men, has been in an abusive relationship, has bipolar disorder and a dui. It's not her fault that she has bipolar disorder or that her ex bf was a dick, but I would never dream of putting anxiety ridden DD in that kind of environment. When I told her no thanks, she flipped out and called DD disturbed and said that no one takes her opinions seriously as the aunt. Wtf. We've barely spoken since then.

This episode sounds like a symptom of your sister's mental illness. I don't think she deliberately set out to hurt you. While I'm sure it was upsetting to you and possibly frightening to your daughter, I don't know why you would personalize it rather than look at it as a bipolar episode. People with bipolar often think they have a godlike ability to "save" others.

For the first 20 years of that, I sucked it up and said that's just how she is. Then for the next 10, I sucked it up and said she's probably bipolar. Then for another 4 years I knew she was bipolar and felt like even though she'd seek treatment sporadically, she couldn't help herself. The last year has been too much. I can't deal with it anymore. It sucks, but that's where I am. And it's ok for me to feel that way. I have a limit for how many mental disorders I can help people with at one time, and right now DD and her anxiety are my concern. Especially since my sister has chosen to stop treatment and self medicate with alcohol, and endanger herself and everyone else on the road.

Of course it's okay to feel that way! Anyone would feel that way. You take care of yourself and your family first. But the point was that the title of this thread is "What's the most hurtful thing a sib ever did to you?" I don't think this was a deliberate attempt to hurt you. Stopping treatment, having attacks of grandiosity, etc. are not deliberate focused attempts to hurt you.

Yup.

I'm sorry your sister is ill, and I'm sorry it's caused stress in your life. But she is ill with a very serious disease, one that is notoriously hard to manage. She is probably doing the best she can with the resources she has right now. Apparently family who is willing to help her is not one of those resources.

PP gave her sister 34 years of support to no avail. People are allowed to remove themselves from situations that are harming them where they cannot possibly help. PP is more than entitled to prioritizing her own family at this point and the fact that her sister is ill does not lessen the damage and hurt caused by her sister's behavior.

[Anonymous]

Told me I am incompetent and that our parents think I can't take care of myself.

Started being rude and disrespectful to all of us once she started dating her rich BF.

Lied to me and was duplicitous during our entire relationship. I don't even know who she is and she says it is MY fault that I don't know who she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD suffers from anxiety. It's pretty severe. My sister concocted a plan for DD to move in with her a few thousand miles away, thinking that she'd be a better role model and provide a more stable environment. She wanted DD to live with her throughout high school. I'm happily married to my children's father, DD is in therapy and on medication, and we're seeing progress. Not exactly an unstable environment.
My sister continues making bad choices with men, has been in an abusive relationship, has bipolar disorder and a dui. It's not her fault that she has bipolar disorder or that her ex bf was a dick, but I would never dream of putting anxiety ridden DD in that kind of environment. When I told her no thanks, she flipped out and called DD disturbed and said that no one takes her opinions seriously as the aunt. Wtf. We've barely spoken since then.

This episode sounds like a symptom of your sister's mental illness. I don't think she deliberately set out to hurt you. While I'm sure it was upsetting to you and possibly frightening to your daughter, I don't know why you would personalize it rather than look at it as a bipolar episode. People with bipolar often think they have a godlike ability to "save" others.

For the first 20 years of that, I sucked it up and said that's just how she is. Then for the next 10, I sucked it up and said she's probably bipolar. Then for another 4 years I knew she was bipolar and felt like even though she'd seek treatment sporadically, she couldn't help herself. The last year has been too much. I can't deal with it anymore. It sucks, but that's where I am. And it's ok for me to feel that way. I have a limit for how many mental disorders I can help people with at one time, and right now DD and her anxiety are my concern. Especially since my sister has chosen to stop treatment and self medicate with alcohol, and endanger herself and everyone else on the road.

Of course it's okay to feel that way! Anyone would feel that way. You take care of yourself and your family first. But the point was that the title of this thread is "What's the most hurtful thing a sib ever did to you?" I don't think this was a deliberate attempt to hurt you. Stopping treatment, having attacks of grandiosity, etc. are not deliberate focused attempts to hurt you.

Yup.

I'm sorry your sister is ill, and I'm sorry it's caused stress in your life. But she is ill with a very serious disease, one that is notoriously hard to manage. She is probably doing the best she can with the resources she has right now. Apparently family who is willing to help her is not one of those resources.

She lashes out and attacks nearly everyone she knows, including me. It doesn't really matter why she did it, the point is it was hurtful and she did it to me. Which was the topic of the thread. I can't believe people are trying to argue that it doesn't belong her because she has bipolar disorder. And you're right, the title is what's the most hurtful thing a sibling did to you, not what's the most hurtful thing a sibling who doesn't have mental illness (because that excuses everything) do to you? I'm surprised you haven't jumped on the PPs who posted about siblings abusing elderly parents because they did that to their parents, therefore PPs aren't complying with the thread title. PPs, you have my condolences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told me he had no good memories of our mom as we were going through her things after she passed and he was trying to throw everything away without looking at it. Despite my mother going broke and pretty much killing herself trying to help him all his useless life. Well, now she's gone and he is on his own cause I am not doing what she did. Good luck.

Is this really something he did to you, or something that offended you?

Huh? He apparently did this in front of his grieving sibling which was really uncalled for. It's a shame that they had this falling out right after their mom's death though. I'll bet that's the last thing that Mom would have wanted for her kids.

People are allowed to express negative feelings. It's not something that is "done" to you.

Yep you never really know...I had friends who were a few years older or the wrong sex and were treated horribly by their parents. The favor child is still oblivious to it. So maybe you have a great memories.

My brother was not abused and I was not the favorite child. He is, however, selfish, greedy and lazy, and always has been. My mother was in debt when she died because of him and I was left to fix that problem because everything he had she gave him. While I fixed that problem he was mad that there was no money. What money? You spent it all! Now she's gone and he has nothing and no one to treat poorly and beg from as he thought I would pick up where she left off but he was mistaken. He is 40, able-bodied and of sound mind. Get a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my nanny quit with no notice, leaving me with an infant and a toddler while DH was deployed, AND I was just starting a surgical Fellowship. She told me that I'd better not ask our Dad to come stay and help me while I found a new nanny, because that would screw up her childcare. When I pointed out that she had her own business and could set her own hours and was lecturing my from the pool, she said "Well, when you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other".

Now that she has no retirement savings, no money to send her kids to college and is deeply in debt, I can't wait to tell her from my vacation homes in Florida and Colorado, when I retire at 55, "I guess I picked up the correct stick, bitch!"

You both seem incredibly selfish and immature. I feel sorry for your dad.

Agreed. Find your own childcare if your father is otherwise engaged. It's no one else's problem your nanny quit and your husband chose a job away from his family.

[Anonymous]

On our mother's deathbed he asked for her car because his step daughter needed it for work. My husband had bought the car and was co-owner. Our mother was so hurt she told the hospital to not let him in her room again. I have not seen him since the funeral. I let him and another sibling take every possession of my mother except the car. Gave it away to an almost stranger.

[Anonymous]

Sorry he = brother

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told me my special needs child just needed better discipline and that I was a horrible mother; made it clear that we were no longer welcome in their home. Thanks for that.

I had to tell my brother his child was no longer welcome in our home. It broke my heart and I probably waited longer than I should. But this child disrupts every conversation (including interrupting herself when she's telling people something), tries to hurt our sweet dog, hurt our kids numerous times, won't (can't?) follow directions, destroys household items. Part of this is on my brother and his wife for not being on top of her, but DH and I just couldn't stand it any more. Our kids were AFRAID of her. In their own home.

Sounds like she was spoiled rotten. You had to do what you did. Healthy boundaries are a good thing in the big picture. Your children saw your good example of enforcing important boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conned my parents of their retirement, disowned the entire family when we refused to sell home to give him more money and used niece to emotionally manipulate my mother. Good riddance to him.

I have you beat. Killed parent after taking all parents' money and possessions. Good times.

Holy shit. I'm so sorry. Is your sib in jail?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Conned my parents of their retirement, disowned the entire family when we refused to sell home to give him more money and used niece to emotionally manipulate my mother. Good riddance to him.

I have you beat. Killed parent after taking all parents' money and possessions. Good times.

Holy shit. I'm so sorry. Is your sib in jail?

No sibling got rid of all of the evidence immediately. Not quite as straightforward as it sounds, it was done in a rather sneaky manner - but I would rather not relive it by retelling it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told me my special needs child just needed better discipline and that I was a horrible mother; made it clear that we were no longer welcome in their home. Thanks for that.

I had to tell my brother his child was no longer welcome in our home. It broke my heart and I probably waited longer than I should. But this child disrupts every conversation (including interrupting herself when she's telling people something), tries to hurt our sweet dog, hurt our kids numerous times, won't (can't?) follow directions, destroys household items. Part of this is on my brother and his wife for not being on top of her, but DH and I just couldn't stand it any more. Our kids were AFRAID of her. In their own home.

Yes, I had to tell a dear friend this and it was the hardest thing I ever did, but her kids were just maniacs. Not special-needs but out of control in every way. They ripped up my tomatoes, tried to hurt the dog, and threw food around. Didn't listen to a thing anyone said. You can love people and still not need or want to put up with that.=(

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Told me my special needs child just needed better discipline and that I was a horrible mother; made it clear that we were no longer welcome in their home. Thanks for that.

I had to tell my brother his child was no longer welcome in our home. It broke my heart and I probably waited longer than I should. But this child disrupts every conversation (including interrupting herself when she's telling people something), tries to hurt our sweet dog, hurt our kids numerous times, won't (can't?) follow directions, destroys household items. Part of this is on my brother and his wife for not being on top of her, but DH and I just couldn't stand it any more. Our kids were AFRAID of her. In their own home.

Yes, I had to tell a dear friend this and it was the hardest thing I ever did, but her kids were just maniacs. Not special-needs but out of control in every way. They ripped up my tomatoes, tried to hurt the dog, and threw food around. Didn't listen to a thing anyone said. You can love people and still not need or want to put up with that.=(

OMIGOD they thew food around. They "tried" to hurt the dog? They ripped up your tomatoes? Is this for real? Or are you just too fragile to live? You cut off a sibling BECAUSE OF A BAD AFTERNOON???