intown, blue igloo, little graces? looking for candid opinions of all

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think what you're saying is exactly right. First off, testing doesn't even start until AFTER preschool (children take the WPPSI as part of applying for Pre-K/K in an elementary school). Most are from upper middle class families, which for sure will provide some academic and thus testing advantages (parents reading to children every night, taking advantage of child development programs, etc), but this feeder system obviously implies that Beauvoir/St. Albans/NCS are NOT exclusively taking the best of the best. That's the point.

I don't think St. Albans or NCS have total clunkers...not everyone from Beauvoir feeds in, and certainly not everyone from Little Folks feeds into Beauvoir, so there are opportunities for getting the brightest of that particular bunch.

But I do think that any type of feeder system, by virtue of the fact that there is an inside track to the next school outside the normal evaluation procedures, will result in many less qualified students making it "in" and extremely bright and qualified students being rejected.

[Anonymous]

As a parent who has had kids at both Intown and Little Folks (I am the pp from Intown earlier in the thread), I'll strongly suggest, but can't prove, that it's unlikely that having attended Intown (or Blue Igloo) experience does anything to get your child into Little Folks.

Sure, moms at the playgroups compare notes on the school, so you're more likely to visit and apply to the schools your friends at the playgroup have raved about, but I don't think it conveys an edge for the admissions process.

Aside from hearing great things about the school and therefore applying in greater numbers than others, there's a high percentage of playgroup grads at Little Folks because it's in the same neighborhood and thus very convenient. While Little Folks has no geographic perference for admissions (to my knowledge), both Intown and Blue Igloo preferentially admit kids from the neighborhood.

If you are considering one of the playgroups, consider it because of the wonderful experience it can offer you and your child while you're there- not how it will look on your kid's curriculum vitae!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm all for planning in advance, but this system is so frustrating.
Also, I grew up around here and know many people from the reputed top level schools discussed on this board, and in my experience the lifers (kids who went to the school from kindergarten on) generally didn't wind up at the top of the class in high school. That's certainly only one data point and only one of many reasons parents opt for a particular school, but it was notable to me. In fact, of the five kids in my class who went to the top-ranked ivy league colleges, only one had been in private school before 8th grade. It may be because kids admitted later in life have already proven that they excel academically. I know that times have changed, but I'm wondering how much. Sitting in the parent shoes now I'm really wondering whether this craziness to truly worth it in terms of time, money, test prep and stress. I'm continuing to go through the process but I have an increasing feeling that this highly-tracked system may not be what is best for my kids or our family. I feel that I have let myself be sucked into this system and it's about time that I start doing a bit more of my own thinking and realize that my gut will tell me what's best for my family. This post is mainly venting, but I've been pretty disappointed with myself throughout this process.

I

I agree wholeheartedly! I have managed to flip flop completely on this issue! I went to an exclusive private school from K-12 and then went to an Ivy League School and then on to Law School, and the one thing that struck me was that at each stage of college and then at a top ranked law school, I was sitting next to kids that did not go to private school and they did just fine! As one of two black girls in my class throughout my primary education, I struggled with being different (not white and not rich-although we were middle class at the school I attended, that made it almost worse because many of the middle class kids were made to feel like they were poor, and looking back I am still angered by this) in addition to all the struggles kids have not matter what their race or religion. Additionally, my parents really struggled to put me through school and I promised myself that when it was my turn, I was going to send my children to public school (granted in a great public school district), so they would feel more included and not feel like paupers just because their parents didn't buy them a BMW for their 16th birthday. But here I am freaking out about whether my child will get into .... preschool. I mean I don't even believe myself sometimes. I have been checking this site religiously (my husband is over me at this point), talking to friends about it, and just being generally crazy about whether my child will get into preschool! Then last night I was talking to my friend who lives in Philadelphia and she finally said to me, "you have got to pull it in or you are not going to make it!" And she is right, there is no reason for me to be caught up in this, I KNOW better and I too am disappointed in myself! I really am going to try to stop feeding into this hysteria.

[Anonymous]

To PP:
If it makes you feel better, I went to a second-tier school where quite a few exclusive New England prep school grads attended - the ones who didn't get into Ivy League schools.

They couldn't keep up academically, and a lot of them just got into a lot of ridiculous trouble (mostly drugs) along the way. I graduated with a 3.9 GPA and went on to have a happy life (and to achieve success in my career to boot).

That said, of course we all want the best for our children. It's also hard to relax if you're hearing other moms talk about this all day. Everyone seems to have some "in" also.

I'm beginning to think that my child (and I!) might be happier in a very low-key nursery school that doesn't focus so much on all of this.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the recent posters who is pretty disappointed with myself. All I can say to the last two posters is that I'm with you in spirit and perhaps we should get together for a coffee, or a drink!

[Anonymous]

I completely empathize with the last few posters about feeling upset with myself for becoming so personally invested in the outcome of this school decision process. I wish I could stop thinking about it, and stop worrying. I find myself obsessing about it day and night. I realize my DD will be fine ultimately wherever she ends up. But there is a part of me who is just so eager to send her to these "proven" places (the same ones so many of us are trying to get in to). Is it partly a status thing? I'm embarased to admit it, but yes, it is in part. Because these schools aren't just looking at our kids - they're lookingat US, the parents, to see if we are what they're looking for. And so it's going to be hard to not take a rejection very personally. Just being very honest, guys. I know it's not pretty.

[Anonymous]

Because these schools aren't just looking at our kids - they're lookingat US, the parents, to see if we are what they're looking for. And so it's going to be hard to not take a rejection very personally. Just being very honest, guys. I know it's not pretty.

I tend to agree with this although I wish it weren't so. I naturally tend to be a laid-back personality (without the pot), and yet even I find myself getting worked up about the admissions process if I think about it for any length of time.

Here's what started the anxiety .... DC was not admitted to a competitive preschool in D.C. when we applied for a "later," non-2-yr-old spot. We knew it was a long shot bc in most of these schools, the 2 year olds move up, then the 3s, etc. We ended up elsewhere and are happy.

Then I come to find out that new acquaintances of ours applied in the same cycle, and their DC was admitted. Their DC is identical to our DC in just about every way -- gender, birthdate, personality, apparent intellect at this young age, race, hair color, name, you name it. Really it's uncanny. Their family situation is also very similar to ours (tho I can't go into detail here to protect their privacy).

The only obvious difference in our two situations is, the other family has one parent with a job that puts that parent in the spotlight a lot. Not necessarily money -- which is talked about on DCUM endlessly -- but a 'household word' kind of thing.

Hmmm.

[Anonymous]

I also worry that if I have to work so hard to get my child admitted, then maybe this isn't the right school for my child. If the admissions process really works like some of the previous posters have indicated, then I worry about preferential treatment for the children of famous people, about being one of the least wealthy in the school, about perhaps my child not fitting in -

I have a friend who has complained that she is the poorest family in her child's school. She and her husband are both partners in big law firms. They are also one of the only families that doesn't go away to a summer home on MV or to some exotic destination or doesn't belong to a country club, blah blah blah. You get the point.

I want the best for my child, but these sorts of things keep me up at night a little bit.

[Anonymous]

my god! we're talking pre-school here! The purpose of pre-school is to get your child used to being away from the home and in an organized, semi-structured environment that is fun so that they will enjoy going to school.
why does it have to be so stressful!?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my god! we're talking pre-school here! The purpose of pre-school is to get your child used to being away from the home and in an organized, semi-structured environment that is fun so that they will enjoy going to school.
why does it have to be so stressful!?

Because there are all sorts of "environments". Some WAY better than others. Some better fitted to some children than others: think of the difference between a strict Montessori program with no outside playtime - and compare it to the Emilio Reggio approach (which I probably misspelled).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my god! we're talking pre-school here! The purpose of pre-school is to get your child used to being away from the home and in an organized, semi-structured environment that is fun so that they will enjoy going to school.
why does it have to be so stressful!?

Because there are all sorts of "environments". Some WAY better than others. Some better fitted to some children than others: think of the difference between a strict Montessori program with no outside playtime - and compare it to the Emilio Reggio approach (which I probably misspelled).

most kids are going to do fine in any of the schools we're all applying to. if a child goes to a montessori with no outdoor time (many have it!), then he or she will go to the park in the afternoon. if a child goes to a play centered preschool and doesn't start reading until kindergarden, that's fine. research suggests there is no particular advantage to teaching kids how to read early. yes, the schools vary in approach and the teachers are different but the real differences in preschool outcomes are for kids who don't get alot of reading and enrichment at home. and it's hard to figure out the "right" learning approach for a two year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my god! we're talking pre-school here! The purpose of pre-school is to get your child used to being away from the home and in an organized, semi-structured environment that is fun so that they will enjoy going to school.
why does it have to be so stressful!?

There are about half a dozen threads going on right now talking about the stress of choosing a preschool. It's stressful because, for some of us, our children are going to be away from us for the first time. We want to make sure we make the right decision.

And then add to that the feeder school issue, which a dozen people have written about above.

So, I wouldn't say that I'm personally overly stressed out about it, but I am reading all of this and thinking a lot about where my child will go. I'm not sure why you're even posting here if you feel the way you do.

And finally, yes, I know my child will do fine in the end.

[Anonymous]

I agree totally with PP. Anytime a thread develops asking about the school "process" or anything about concerns with one school, god forbid you even mention the word "feeder", then you get all these responses from people who think you're insane and tell you it's all ridiculous.

Why are you even posting here? don't read this. You're already confident with your decisions. But some people have questions and concerns and want to find out the details.

[Anonymous]

Thank you PP.

[Anonymous]

intown is a joke! i went to an open house there and literally had to fight back from laughing at these ridiculous women! they were the most stuffy boring women i have ever met. how boring to have to go and hang with these women everyday. oh my gosh. i went to the open houses for blue igloo and little graces as well and i liked them much better. the women were much more fun and i actually had some really interesting conversations there. i couldn't wait to get out of the intown open house. i was warned about this but decided to check it out myself. one woman kept bragging about being on the board of the playgroup like she was on the board of a corporation or something. i mean really.