When you decline a birthday party- do you tell your child?

[Anonymous]

I would leave the choice to my kids - "Do you want to go to the sports class or the birthday party?"

[Anonymous]

I never decline birthday invites since I have an autistic nephew who routinely has no one show up. I would hate for that to happen to any child, so we always go.

[Anonymous]

I just accept a party invite and will skip weekend language school for it. DS7 is in a very small school with very few kids throwing birthday parties. I consider it more important than weekend school. I will choose differently if there were a lot of parties on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to him. After all, in 10 years, I will want him to talk to me about tough choices (whether to go to party where alcohol, etc). I think it is important to start modeling & practicing these types of conversations early.

[Anonymous]

I think you should definitely let your child go to the party, especially if he doesn't get invited to all that many. I use uber, or a combination of metro and bike or uber, for "special occasion" situations like this.

Let us know what you decide to do OP, curious if we convinced you!

[Anonymous]

Take your child to the party. Carpool if possible.

[Anonymous]

Carpool. You can even ask the host for suggestions.

I know I would gladly pick up a classmate and parent to a party assuming you live within 10 min of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:thanks- I'm the OP. I thought about letting him decide. My problem with that is that we are a 1 car family. One of our other kids is also enrolled in the sports class, but not invited to the party. A third sibling has neither. The sports class is not very public transportation accessible. The party is a long way away. So if the car goes to the party with one parent, the other parent needs to take both other kids (one of whom is not in the class) via taxi to sports class- which doesn't really work very well.

Or one parent drops off 2 kids at the sports place and takes the car to birthday party. At end, that parent comes back and picks up sports kids. I know, you'd get to the sports place earlier than you should. So you go to coffee/milk and donuts nearby. Or you bring some toys/books to the sports place and you hang out until lesson. Or you go for a walk around the block until sports class starts. I bet you could figure it out. for a child who doesn't get invited to birthday parties very much, it might be important to HIM to go. AND so that the other kids can see that he is "a kid who gets invited to birthday parties" and so the other kids see him outside of school, at a party. Sometimes that kind of stuff snowballs and he will get invited to parties more often.

I dunno, but I'd try really hard (and, yes, that means inconveniencing other kids) to go to the party this time.

But IF you don't have him go to the party, I think you tell him he was invited but because it's during the time you take your sports class, we can't go. Bummer. Maybe next time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should definitely let your child go to the party, especially if he doesn't get invited to all that many. I use uber, or a combination of metro and bike or uber, for "special occasion" situations like this.

Let us know what you decide to do OP, curious if we convinced you!

Thanks, I'm the OP- since you asked, you have convinced me to tell him about the party- you have not convinced me to take him or give him the choice.
I really appreciate the thoughts people offered. I will say this- there were some inaccurate assumptions that I think were picked up on by many posters, which is why I think so many people were saying he should go to the party.
I honestly think if given the choice, the most likely thing is that he would decline the party (he LOVES the activity that conflicts with it)- but I don't want to tell him he has a choice, and then if he picks the party tell him he can't go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you should definitely let your child go to the party, especially if he doesn't get invited to all that many. I use uber, or a combination of metro and bike or uber, for "special occasion" situations like this.

Let us know what you decide to do OP, curious if we convinced you!

Thanks, I'm the OP- since you asked, you have convinced me to tell him about the party- you have not convinced me to take him or give him the choice.
I really appreciate the thoughts people offered. I will say this- there were some inaccurate assumptions that I think were picked up on by many posters, which is why I think so many people were saying he should go to the party.
I honestly think if given the choice, the most likely thing is that he would decline the party (he LOVES the activity that conflicts with it)- but I don't want to tell him he has a choice, and then if he picks the party tell him he can't go.

Now you really need to update on us after he makes the decision. My shy introverted son would choose a friend's party any day of the week over an activity he does every week. It has not always been this way. Before he was 5, he really did not care. But now he really enjoys playing with his pals at parties.