When you decline a birthday party- do you tell your child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:thanks- I'm the OP. I thought about letting him decide. My problem with that is that we are a 1 car family. One of our other kids is also enrolled in the sports class, but not invited to the party. A third sibling has neither. The sports class is not very public transportation accessible. The party is a long way away. So if the car goes to the party with one parent, the other parent needs to take both other kids (one of whom is not in the class) via taxi to sports class- which doesn't really work very well.

Or go to party via taxi. Or zipcar, etc. If your child gets few invites and he's heard of it, this is what you should do.

[Anonymous]

I would skip the sports class and go to the party, especially if it is something he does on a long-term basis. We *just* discussed missing some Saturday classes for other things.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Carpe diem. Go to the party.

[Anonymous]

Parent takes the car, child who doesn't have anything planned and other child who has the sport to the sport. Other parent waits for carpool to pick up invitee, then does a bit of housework while waiting for invitee in carpool to return.

[Anonymous]

Of course. The invite is to your child not you. Why would ypu RSVP without asking them in the first place?

[Anonymous]

The kids in Kindergarten talk about the parties a lot. They know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thanks- I'm the OP. I thought about letting him decide. My problem with that is that we are a 1 car family. One of our other kids is also enrolled in the sports class, but not invited to the party. A third sibling has neither. The sports class is not very public transportation accessible. The party is a long way away. So if the car goes to the party with one parent, the other parent needs to take both other kids (one of whom is not in the class) via taxi to sports class- which doesn't really work very well.

Or go to party via taxi. Or zipcar, etc. If your child gets few invites and he's heard of it, this is what you should do.

0 car family here and I second this. If that's the main thing holding you back, there are lots of other ways to get around.

[Anonymous]

Let the kid go to the party instead of sports. Work out the transportation. You have 3 kids? These conflicts are going to start coming fast and furious so start figuring out what you should do about transportation. Should you get a second car? Build some uber spending into your monthly budget? Be proactive about building relationships with other parents who you can count I in a pinch. Make you child decline too many parties and the invites stop coming.

[Anonymous]

Sports class? Let the kid go to the party. And get a second vehicle.

[Anonymous]

I'd do Zipcar and take him to the party. You're a one-car family but sometimes you're going to have to rent a second car. That's still much cheaper than buying a second car, and it's just the reality of having three kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sports class? Let the kid go to the party. And get a second vehicle.

Yes, you should definitely get a second car so that your children won't miss any birthday parties!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One of kids was invited to a party that I want to decline. It was nice of them to invite him (he actually doesn't get invited to a ton of parties) but he has a time conflict, and the location of the party would be extremely logistically challenging for us. I'm torn about whether I tell him about the party (which he kind of knows about- kids talk- he's in K) but also tell him he can't go- or if I just decline it and don't mention it further to him.
(His conflict is that he has a sports class at the same time he really likes and looks forward to all week.).

I would for this reason. My kid is a chatty kathy, so i hear all about it when a friend in K says he's invited to a bday party. Let me tell you, it sucks when you have the opposite problem -- kid tells DS that he's going to invite him to his party and then never get an invite. I'd definitely tell him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 6yo girl and of course have told her when this has happened. "Larlo invited you to his birthday party, but since it's at the same time as _____, I told his mom you couldn't come this time."

We do this - because they talk about it so much. She knows she was invited and knows why she isn't going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sports class? Let the kid go to the party. And get a second vehicle.

Yes, you should definitely get a second car so that your children won't miss any birthday parties!

Ummmm, the logistical issues appear to go beyond that.