How to tell BIL you are not happy with how he speaks to your children, or myself without causing

[Anonymous]

Op, you can't control their behavior, you can only control when you see them and for how long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's YOUR job to protect the children from mean relatives.
Like I told DH, if you can't handle your relatives, I will.

Me, too! My husband would much rather deal with his relatives than have me do it, because I give zero f****.

[Anonymous]

Just be straightforward: "BIL, I don't like the way you talk to me or my kids. Stop it now."

Better yet, have DH do it himself; if DH can't or won't do it after talking directly to DH, clarify to DH that you can and will do it.

NEVER EVER let anyone -- IL or not -- undermine your parenting; it confuses the kids and is unfair to them. They need a clear direction of authority from their parents. ILs are merely guests in your home and your lives.

Signed,

DW for 20 years who knows how to stay happily married!

[Anonymous]

If one son was supporting me then I would prefer his kids more than the other son's. You sound like you want all the benefits of a grandmother, but you can't be bothered to reciprocate support; emotionally or financially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If one son was supporting me then I would prefer his kids more than the other son's. You sound like you want all the benefits of a grandmother, but you can't be bothered to reciprocate support; emotionally or financially.

What? You'd be mean to your grandkids if their parents didn't give you money?