Nephew living with us this summer

[Anonymous]

I've done this before (as the young 20s person) and it worked out very well. I have dietary needs so I did not eat with the family but was responsible for my own meals and may have sat down with them if was home when they were eating. I cleaned up after myself and did my own laundry of course. They had a cleaning service but I would help out by taking care of the dog when they were away or taking out the trash or recycling and also helped with the garden. So I was able to contribute to the household.

It was a great experience for all of us. There were no set rules. I always let them know if I wasn't sleeping at home ( via text or email so if they woke up at midnight and realized I wasn't there, they wouldn't worry).

The arrangement lasted for over a year and I was able to save a lot of money and pay down my student loans. It was very valuable to save like this so early on in my career, esp because I was working at a non profit and would have otherwise been barely scraping by.

[Anonymous]

We had this arrangement twice with an old cousin and it was the best thing ever for our cousin relationship esp with cousins typically in other states and too far to see each other regularly. This was a great opportunity for my cousin to gain some good work experience which helped him develop his successful tech career now. He's always been gracious to my parents for having given him free room and board during that time and it helped tremendously across all relationships.

I would urge OP to try this out and see what a great benefit it can be to help someone younger that in the future may have a really great relationship or even mentor your little ones. It's a win-win situation from all you have said.

Don't charge your nephew. Internships esp in DC pay little to nothing and it's bad enough he has to pay for the Metro fare already. Be generous, open your home to a good kid, the future may surprise you for how you may be repaid in kindness once your nephew is successful.

[Anonymous]

I'd love this! My niece isn't that old, but I'd do it in a heartbeat with her. She adores my DD and is very respectful. I wouldn't lay down all these insane rules if you already know he is a good kid.

Just ask him to pitch in at home, cleaning the kitchen, watching the kids etc. I think it'd be like HEAVEN to have the kids go wake him up on a Saturday morning and not me!

No rent, just enjoy having another adult around for a few weeks! If he starts doing things that are a problem, address them as they come. Don't start out assuming he'll be a drunk mess the whole time. Sheesh. He's 19, and doing an internship. He's a good kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm guessing this must be your DH's nephew OP? You don't sound very charitable.

+1 agree, sth doesn't add up.

[Anonymous]

I would not charge rent and you really would need to see how the nephew was before you might consider asking him to sit first, but that might be an option, too. I think I would clarify the house rules a bit not so much for nephew, but for any friends he might meet to include: No drugs (including pot), smoking or drinking in the house because you just never know how much someone has had beforehand etc. and if they end up leaving from your home and having an accident, and they are under 21.

Also, you may want to look into your homeowner's insurance policy just in case there was an accident to him while visiting on coverage and also on your car insurance if there was any chance he might be driving one of your vehicles.

Otherwise, it sounds as if you could really be helping a kid get a leg up on a job.

[Anonymous]

Eh burbf

[Anonymous]

Don't charge him rent, he's asking as he needs help. Give him some help!

House rules are a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would ask him to pay a small amount in room and board. I would also write out some genral rules and have him sign them.

I didn't do those two things with my niece and wish I would have. After a few weeks I started to resint cooking and cleaning up after one more person. I think having him chip in would help with that. On the plus side my Dd loves having her cousin around.

This is my concern. It's probably silly, because I have no reason to be concerned given what I know about him, but I just fear we're going to resent having another person in the house and the maintenance that comes along with that.

We have little kids (6 and 3). I work PT, DH works outside the home.

Have him babysit for you every Friday or Saturday night and then at the end of the summer for the weekend - in exchange.

[Anonymous]

We have an au pair and I agree that having your nephew take on an adult size chunk of the chore list is the key to avoiding resentment in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love this! My niece isn't that old, but I'd do it in a heartbeat with her. She adores my DD and is very respectful. I wouldn't lay down all these insane rules if you already know he is a good kid.

Just ask him to pitch in at home, cleaning the kitchen, watching the kids etc. I think it'd be like HEAVEN to have the kids go wake him up on a Saturday morning and not me!

No rent, just enjoy having another adult around for a few weeks! If he starts doing things that are a problem, address them as they come. Don't start out assuming he'll be a drunk mess the whole time. Sheesh. He's 19, and doing an internship. He's a good kid.

This !

But honestly, OP I think you should decline you seem to have a negative attitude about this, and that's no way to start a situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We had this arrangement twice with an old cousin and it was the best thing ever for our cousin relationship esp with cousins typically in other states and too far to see each other regularly. This was a great opportunity for my cousin to gain some good work experience which helped him develop his successful tech career now. He's always been gracious to my parents for having given him free room and board during that time and it helped tremendously across all relationships.

I would urge OP to try this out and see what a great benefit it can be to help someone younger that in the future may have a really great relationship or even mentor your little ones. It's a win-win situation from all you have said.

Don't charge your nephew. Internships esp in DC pay little to nothing and it's bad enough he has to pay for the Metro fare already. Be generous, open your home to a good kid, the future may surprise you for how you may be repaid in kindness once your nephew is successful.

Agree with this as well. Don't turn him into your tenant or part time babysitter.

Think about the future. Your kids future. They are considerably younger than your nephew maybe you doing your nephew a good turn now could benefit your kids in the future with an internship or job connection, by the time your kids get to that point your nephew will likely be very well established and well connected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No masturbation. This is non negotiable.

Really? How do you plan to monitor this?

Why would you want a tense and cranky person in your house?

Maybe the anti-masturbation PP needs to try what she's knocking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No masturbation. This is non negotiable.

Really? How do you plan to monitor this?

Why would you want a tense and cranky person in your house?

Maybe the anti-masturbation PP needs to try what she's knocking.

Oh look, it's the posters who don't have a sense of humor!

OP, just think, by the time your kids are college age the nephew will be old enough to host them for a summer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Unless I did not like him, I would be jumping with joy!

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP please help this kid out!!! He is your NEPHEW and he is trying to make something of his life. And please do not charge him rent! His internship might not pay anything and he will be paying for metro everyday. Set up some rules to ease up on any resentment that may build. And know that you only have to deal with the situation for a couple months.

+1. We're not talking about a kid who got kicked out by his parents at 20 for refusing to help out around the house, can't afford rent because he won't get a full time job, and has exhausted his couch surfing privileges with his friends. It's a college kid doing what he needs to do to be successful, and it doesn't sound like there's any reason particular to this kid to expect problems, just a general "other people might be different."