Overheard mother in law insult my family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So hubby called his mom on speakerphone while we were driving in the car. They mostly made small talk and at the end she asked about thanksgiving and how my " loser brother" was doing. Obviously she didn't know she was on speakerphone, but this shocked and upset me as my brother hasn't done anything to her. It also made me upset my husband did not tell her off for using that terminology.

My brother has had a few struggles in life for sure, but he is a nice guy, loves my husband and my sons and is good to us. I felt hurt that she was basically judging him when she had no place to do so.

I don't really know what to do about this situation as it deeply upsets me . She has insulted my mother as well in previous years and my husband doesn't do anything about it. Am I making too big a deal of this?

Grow up, OP. She doesn't have any use for any of you. Accept and moved on.

Oh, please. Overreact much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That wasn't nice of her. But your husband should have told her she was on speakerphone.

+1

Or you! "Hey, Norma, you're on speaker! John's doing great, thanks for asking!"

That would have been fantastic!

I would have done something like that.

My in laws have made rude comments about my family. I wait a while, and then repeat it in conversation, or just bring it up. FIL would at least look embarrassed, MIL pretends she never said anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk directly to MIL. She deserves a chance to apologize and get a clean slate. Resentment will build over something that can be aapddressed.

The OP might be resentful but MIL really doesn't owe her an apology. She didn't do anything to her or her brother.

[Anonymous]

I think I'd say something to DH first. He clearly has been telling stories (unless your MIL crosses paths with your brother and can make her own judgments) I would just tell him that while you can't control his opinions of your brother, you would appreciate if he would not gossip to his parents because it hurts when they make comments about things they have only heard from him. Remind him of the nice things your brother has done for you all and ask that he try to be more understanding.

[Anonymous]

That would have really hurt my feelings. I'm Sorry, OP. My DH and I have an understanding that we don't bash our ILs to our families, nor to we entertain bashing of ILs from our families. Maybe you can work out a similar agreement with your DH. And yeah, your husband needs to learn speaker phone etiquette.

[Anonymous]

Big deal your MIL thinks your brother is a loser and your DH probably does too.

Shock the world is not a perfect place full of kittens and rainbows, Santa isn't real and neither is the Tooth Fairy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Big deal your MIL thinks your brother is a loser and your DH probably does too.

Shock the world is not a perfect place full of kittens and rainbows, Santa isn't real and neither is the Tooth Fairy.

Wow, you are nuts. OP is not asking for perfection.

[Anonymous]

No one criticizes my family in front of me. I don't care if there is a kernel or a whole cob if truth in it. You should have stuck up for your brother right then and there. THAT is why your are upset, OP.

[Anonymous]

Your MIL felt comfortable saying what she did because your husband refers to your brother as loser. Your beef is with your husband.

[Anonymous]

Send her an email. I was in the car, heard what you said about my brother and I'm offended. You're an important part of our life, as is my brother, and i'd appreciate it if you refrained from saying such hurtful things about the people I love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one criticizes my family in front of me. I don't care if there is a kernel or a whole cob if truth in it. You should have stuck up for your brother right then and there. THAT is why your are upset, OP.

Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Send her an email. I was in the car, heard what you said about my brother and I'm offended. You're an important part of our life, as is my brother, and i'd appreciate it if you refrained from saying such hurtful things about the people I love.

Way to create one hell of a mess. MIL thought she was having a private conversation with her son, who in all likelihood is the one who said your brother is a loser-she didn't come up with that one on her own. In reality, what difference does it make. I love my brother, but he is a mess. BFD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one criticizes my family in front of me. I don't care if there is a kernel or a whole cob if truth in it. You should have stuck up for your brother right then and there. THAT is why your are upset, OP.

Amen!

Question, have you ever said anything disparaging about anyone in your spouse's family to your spouse? Maybe when you thought you were having a private conversation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one criticizes my family in front of me. I don't care if there is a kernel or a whole cob if truth in it. You should have stuck up for your brother right then and there. THAT is why your are upset, OP.

Amen!

Question, have you ever said anything disparaging about anyone in your spouse's family to your spouse? Maybe when you thought you were having a private conversation?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one criticizes my family in front of me. I don't care if there is a kernel or a whole cob if truth in it. You should have stuck up for your brother right then and there. THAT is why your are upset, OP.

Amen!

Question, have you ever said anything disparaging about anyone in your spouse's family to your spouse? Maybe when you thought you were having a private conversation?

No, not yet. He criticizes his family himself and his family isn't the type to hold back their opinions from one another anyway. I am happy not to get involved.