New in-law issue (need some guidance or to vent)

[Anonymous]

OP, just want to tell you that I am sorry you are going thru this. You aren't alone.

[Anonymous]

how to handle my in-laws

Your husband needs to step-up and tell them NO.
Your IL's are causing you angst - - so, "No" to them is the answer.

But having said that, it's probable that the unexpected will occur
and can't be completely controlled. I'm sorry. I wish you peace.

[Anonymous]

Be firm and very very direct. Sorry, at this time we are only allowing immediate family members to visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be firm and very very direct. Sorry, at this time we are only allowing immediate family members to visit.

My dad had a tenious relationship with his brother, who came to see him in hospice, with his family.
His family members were watching a TV show in his room, which was loud and violent, and I had a moment where I thought, "This may be his last day, or my last time seeing him, and we are watching a cop show?"

His eyes were closed and he was in pain.

I addressed the woman and said, "I think it would be more peaceful if you all stepped out. I am turning off the TV."

I did. They did.

He said, "Thank you."

He did not have the strength to advocate for his need for peace.

You can do this and enlist your DH for help. Give him the words.
"Please tell your parents my dad can't handle any company now. If they write him a card, I will read it to him, if he has the strength. I am not willing to share the final days or hours with people he's not as close to, even if it means your parents can't forgive me, but I hope they love you and I enough to respect this."

A HARD no.

You can also blame hospice. He has a list, and they are not on it. (Then make a list)