Cry baby 7 yr old girl. What should I do? Could this be a serious issue?

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP that while your daughter may be more sensitive or more of a perfectionist than average, I don't see any reason to go to a psychiatrist. She's just towards that end of the spectrum .. not worse or better ... just the way she is. I would really avoid making this into an issue. My older son, 7.5yo, is on the more sensitive/expressive end emotionally. He still tends to make a big deal out of things, but I don't emotionally mirror him and I don't reprimand him for it. Basically, I acknowledge what is going on but I don't feed into any tears or anxiety. FWIW, some people have a similar tendency toward overactive blushing. It's a physiological thing and doesn't mean there's actually anything WRONG with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My daughter is 7. She is a great sport. She doesn't mind losing and when she does lose will say "good game." She's a kind sweet soul, good friend, she shares easily but my goodness will cry at the drop of a hat over silly things. It's usually a soft silent cry and you don't even know she is doing it unless you are looking at her. Her eyes well and tears stream but it's clear she's trying to stifle it. It's usually over minor things. For example, at dinner, I may ask her brother if she'd like some milk. I go get my son some milk with every intention of asking my 7 yr old after I get my son's milk, but before I even can hers, she's crying. I ask what's wrong and she'll say, "I want milk too." What the??? Her teacher told me she received an assignment that ripped so she needed to get another paper. She walked up to the teacher with tears in her eyes about her ripped paper. Didn't wail, didn't cry audibly, but was teary eyed. It's just paper and she didn't rip it so it's not like she would get in trouble. Another example the teacher told me is that she was addressing some kids talking in line. She told these 2 kids earlier not to talk. At this moment, she said "Stop talking, I'm not going to tell you again." My 7 yr old was standing near the kids. Tears welled up in her eyes, the teacher asked what was wrong, and my 7 yr old said "I wasn't talking and I wasn't there when you said not to talk the first time." The teacher said she wasn't even talking to my 7 yr old. It's just not normal. I don't see other 7 yr olds get so upset about such little things.

On the flip side, she never gives us trouble when we tell her "no." She's real easy going when it comes to rules. For example, if we say she can't do something her friends are doing. She usually says, "ok." No fight. Just this past weekend we didn't allow her to do a sleep over she was invited to because we don't do them and she just told her friend calmly, "I'm not allowed to spend the night yet." No tears, nothing. She's like that all the time. Her tears are never about her not getting her way. She also does homework without a fight 95% of the time.


Any thoughts? Suggestions? She gets great grades in school. She has lots of friends, she has no problems being brave or separating from us. When it comes to activities or trying new things she is fearless, but this just isn't normal to me. We wonder if she needs to see a shrink, but we're not sure for what? Is this anxiety? Over sensitivity? I'll take any advice.

OP. what you need to do more than anything is have her back. She cries more than other kids, big deal. It's okay and it's within the spectrum of normal. When she sees that you have her back, it will help her become more resilient.

My DD was the very sensitive kid, and she's grown into a resilient teen. She's still sensitive, but less so, and she bounces back from a lot of petty social drama. She's also really good at empathizing with other kids, which has kept her kind during the rough years of middle school and puberty.

Having a sensitive kid can be a tough thing for a parent because we worry about our kids being targets for other kids, and we worry about shitty teachers commenting on how our kids are too something - too emotional, too sensitive, too quick to tears.

Watch out for the shitty teachers (our DD had a horrid 2nd grade teacher), OP, and have your daughter's back. Also please try to separate your worries about how this might reflect on you from the question of whether there's something really wrong with your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Op, I'm cringing at the title of your post. You need to learn new ways to handle your daughter crying, starting with NOT calling someone a cry baby.

I recommend this book for starters:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Highly-Sensitive-Child-Overwhelms/dp/0767908724

In short, you need to keep your cool when she is losing it.

[Anonymous]

Thank you everyone for your feedback. It is helpful, even if its hard to swallow.