How often do Moms and Dads have sex?

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are in our late 20s with a 9 month old. We don't have sex much. Maybe once a month? I wasn't that sexual before and it decreased with the baby and I think my new birth control pill. He said he'd be happy with once a week, but he's understanding and it's not like we have no sex, so we don't have any sexual contact. I don't think it matters how much you have sex compared to other people.

[Anonymous]

2-5x per month before kids after DS1 it was like 12x a year
now it is more like 2-3x per month with 2 kids. We are both 37 years old.
It brothered me whole lot!

[Anonymous]

Here's my question for those of you doing it 4X/wk, especially to the pp who talked of quickies: what's your definition of a quickie? Are you having an orgasm that often? Where do you get the energy/desire???

We do it about 6/X month, which does not make dh happy. I'm approaching my late 30s and dh is 10yrs older. We have a 3-yr old and I work part-time.

[Anonymous]

about once a week. 37 and 39 two children 2 and 4 and I am a SAHM. We would both like it more, but schedules, travel, exhaustion, illness, etc. seem to creep in. I find it is like exercise though, the more you do the more you do. Have to just force your self sometimes and then you are glad you did. Per orgasm and quickies, just take care of your self if need be after wards, with him "helping"

[Anonymous]

We are lucky if we have it once a week. Hubby works a lot and by the time he gets home I am usually in bed! We do try to get in a date night 1-2 times per month and that helps. Also, we do an overnighter about 3 times a year. That is awesome! Our kids are 7.5,6.5 and 3!
We are 41. I know hubby would like it more too but it's really hard when life gets in the way!

[Anonymous]

I'm glad someone wrote this today, my husband sent me the following link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=510248&in_page_id=1879&ICO=FEMAIL&ICL=TOPART

Read some of the comments to the article.

My husband did not send this as a comment on our relationship, but more so to inform. We have friends who are in this type of relationship, very sad.

We usually average 2-3 times per week. Our DCs are 2 and 4, we're both 39 and work FT, not so far of a commute. We share fairly equitably in the housework and child rearing/watching. When DC#2 was not as good a sleeper, it was more like once every 10 days or so, but, I think a PP said it best, it's like exercise, the more you do it and make it a habit, the better it is and the more you do it. My husband and I have had a renewal of the sexual part of our relationship, it is quite invigorating.

All of this being said, what matters most is that the husband and wife are getting what each needs.

[Anonymous]

Since having kids my libido has really decreased. We're lucky if we do it once a month. I will say that when we're intimate I feel a lot closer to DH but the longer we go without having sex the harder it is to reconnect in that way. I feel almost sexually inhibited lately because it's so hard for me to take the mom hat off and feel sexual and sensual again. Doesn't help that I still have some baby weight and don't feel quite like myself. I think more date nights or a weekend away can be invaluable. Thanks for this post, it helps to see I'm not alone in this.

[Anonymous]

I was hoping to make "200 orgasms" this year since Oprah's friend Dr. Oz says that's the ideal number to maintain a healthy life. But DH & I manage maybe 8-12x a month (concentrated during the no-period period) if we're well and not exhausted.

Have an almost 2.5-year old. Both DH & I are in horrible shape--tired all the time, don't eat a completely balanced diet. But my libido's been up for the last year. Maybe not being on the pill?

[Anonymous]

There's a book out right now that I've wanted to read. My husband is exhausted from his long hours of work and has little to give at the end of the day. He loves me and we have a great relationship, but not much sex. Can anyone else relate?:

"The Sex-Starved Wife: What to Do When He's Lost Desire" by Michele Weiner Davis

Book Description:
In 2003, bestselling author and relationship expert Michele Weiner Davis' groundbreaking book, The Sex-Starved Marriage described the problems that occur in marriage when one spouse is vastly more interested in sex than the other and more importantly, what the couple could do to fix things. The book created quite a stir, but no one expected what happened next.
Weiner Davis was flooded with e-mails, letters, and phone calls from women, not with "headaches" and other predictable excuses for avoiding sex, but from women who were desperately unhappy because their husbands weren't the least bit interested in sex. Nothing these women said or did got their men to understand the pain and isolation that comes from a sexual void, and despite heartfelt pleas, they were unable to convince their husbands to seek professional help. Add to this the unspoken taboo about discussing low libido in men, and these women were left to believe that they were the only ones dealing with this problem.
If this sounds like your situation, Weiner Davis wants to tell you that you are not alone, and it is not your fault: there is a whole host of reasons why your husband might be experiencing low desire. Although Weiner Davis explains reasons men lose interest in sex--biological issues, personal troubles, and relationship problems--she's convinced that understanding the cause of a problem won't make your sex life any juicier; doing something about it will. The Sex-Starved Wife gives you the tools you need to present the information in the book so that your husband will not become defensive. You'll even learn methods for overcoming sexual dysfunctions such as performance anxiety, premature ejaculation, and effective ways for dealing with pornography or infidelity. If you and your spouse need additional support, Weiner Davis offers concrete advice on how to get your man to visit his doctor or seek other professional help.
When it comes to marriage, Weiner Davis has seen it all. She knows how important loving, satisfying sex is to a healthy marriage. The straightforward, psychobabble-free advice in this book will help you create the intimacy and connection for which you've been longing.

[Anonymous]

We have not had sex since I found out I was pregnant. DS is now 5 months old. So that makes it over a year. We are bot 33. DH works long hours. I work full time as well and with the baby I am now going to work, coming home taking care of home, baby etc and sometimes doing work at night. Luckily, DH is a great help to me at home when he is not working late but I am still exhausted. I have NO sex drive what so ever, before and after baby so DH is kind of used to it. I feel really bad but luckily DH is understanding. Recently DH was in a car accident and with broken bones it makes it hard to get intimiate at all, even if I was in the mood.

[Anonymous]

I should point out that I hard time getting pregnant as I don't ovuate so we had to do fertlity drugs, etc. Early in the pregnancy I had a scare and went to the ER b/c of bleeding at 8 weeks. Hence the reason we didn't have sex while pregnant (when I actually had some sort of a drive - quite strange). We were both to scared to risk it.

[Anonymous]

"4-5 x/week and I think it's not enough! I wish it were every day! Mom to 2 kids under 2.

bullshit "


Hey...so not bullshit. What a nasty comment. How the heck do you know what goes on in other people's lives?
I love sex with my husband, and my libido is strong. I'm in my mid-30's; perhaps I'm in my sexual peak.
It's not like we have three hour sessions 4-5 x/week; usually it's just a quickie before bed, but it's a great end to the day.
And I WOULD love to have sex with him daily. Why is it so hard to believe that people's sex drives are different?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
"4-5 x/week and I think it's not enough! I wish it were every day! Mom to 2 kids under 2.

bullshit "


Hey...so not bullshit. What a nasty comment. How the heck do you know what goes on in other people's lives?
I love sex with my husband, and my libido is strong. I'm in my mid-30's; perhaps I'm in my sexual peak.
It's not like we have three hour sessions 4-5 x/week; usually it's just a quickie before bed, but it's a great end to the day.
And I WOULD love to have sex with him daily. Why is it so hard to believe that people's sex drives are different?

With 2 kids under 2? Yeah it's hard to believe that anyone can find time for 5 times per week unless you're doing it 5 times in one night at a hotel with a babysitter watching the kids. (I'm a different poster by the way)

[Anonymous]

If you feel the need to get a sitter to have sex, guess that's why so many people are having only sex once a month.

[Anonymous]

"Weiner" Davis! Ha ha..........great name for someone writing a book about sex. Weiner!