Married men of DCUM: WHY did you propose to your gf when you did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you propose to your girlfriend when you did? Was she giving hints? Did you want to or did you feel like you had no choice?

She proposed to me... the idea that men propose to women is gendered, anti-feminist, and just really fucking weird.

ummm you sound unbelievably unsexy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old were you guys?

Our 30s - she was early 30s, I was later 30s. Her first marriage, my second. My "triggering event" is not terribly romantic - it's not meet-cute rom-com - but reflects the values of someone who has had experience being married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her visa was expiring.

But hey! 8 years and 2 kids later we're still happy.

Would you have married her if it wasnt?

Yes but probably a year or two later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My now DW told me after about 3 years of dating she wanted to be married and have kids and if I wasn't ready, she understood and would move on. We were 28. I would have waited longer but I didn't want to lose her. Best decision to propose shortly after.

Same. We were 25 and had dated for 2.5 years. No idea why I dragged my feet, but it was the best decision of my life. Glad she brought up marriage when she did and I've told her that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you propose to your girlfriend when you did? Was she giving hints? Did you want to or did you feel like you had no choice?

She proposed to me... the idea that men propose to women is gendered, anti-feminist, and just really fucking weird.

ummm you sound unbelievably unsexy

Nah, just way better at life than you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you propose to your girlfriend when you did? Was she giving hints? Did you want to or did you feel like you had no choice?

She proposed to me... the idea that men propose to women is gendered, anti-feminist, and just really fucking weird.

ummm you sound unbelievably unsexy

Nah, just way better at life than you.

Are you just camping out on the relationship board now, troll?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her visa was expiring.

But hey! 8 years and 2 kids later we're still happy.

I think I know you.

[Anonymous]

Any guys tell their GF that they would propose 'someday' even though you knew you would never marry her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any guys tell their GF that they would propose 'someday' even though you knew you would never marry her?

No, although I was in two LTRs which began with an expectation that we were both looking for a marriage, and which got to the engagement stage, and ultimately failed. I was at the point of being ready to ask, and both of them did some crazy shit that scared the hell out of me, and made me re-think it. I had even asked the father of one girl for his blessing/permission (just being traditional) while she was travelling, with the idea of asking her when she got back from her trip. Apparently he told her I'd asked, and when she got back, she unloaded a whole bag of relationship-sabotaging nutty on me that stopped me cold in my tracks. I should've ended it there, but I let it drag on dying a slow painful death for another 10 months. Just heart break...I really loved her, but yeesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any guys tell their GF that they would propose 'someday' even though you knew you would never marry her?

No, although I was in two LTRs which began with an expectation that we were both looking for a marriage, and which got to the engagement stage, and ultimately failed. I was at the point of being ready to ask, and both of them did some crazy shit that scared the hell out of me, and made me re-think it. I had even asked the father of one girl for his blessing/permission (just being traditional) while she was travelling, with the idea of asking her when she got back from her trip. Apparently he told her I'd asked, and when she got back, she unloaded a whole bag of relationship-sabotaging nutty on me that stopped me cold in my tracks. I should've ended it there, but I let it drag on dying a slow painful death for another 10 months. Just heart break...I really loved her, but yeesh.

What did she do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any guys tell their GF that they would propose 'someday' even though you knew you would never marry her?

No, although I was in two LTRs which began with an expectation that we were both looking for a marriage, and which got to the engagement stage, and ultimately failed. I was at the point of being ready to ask, and both of them did some crazy shit that scared the hell out of me, and made me re-think it. I had even asked the father of one girl for his blessing/permission (just being traditional) while she was travelling, with the idea of asking her when she got back from her trip. Apparently he told her I'd asked, and when she got back, she unloaded a whole bag of relationship-sabotaging nutty on me that stopped me cold in my tracks. I should've ended it there, but I let it drag on dying a slow painful death for another 10 months. Just heart break...I really loved her, but yeesh.

Father was a douche.

[Anonymous]

Woman here...after many years of dating I gave my DH an ultimatum - told him I needed to know we were getting married or I needed to move on and gave him a 6 month window to propose. He waited until the very end of the six months. After a decade of mostly happy marriage and a great kid I still don't know why he dragged his feet so much. He has said he regrets waiting and it definitely made me frustrated to have to lean on him like that but it was time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here...after many years of dating I gave my DH an ultimatum - told him I needed to know we were getting married or I needed to move on and gave him a 6 month window to propose. He waited until the very end of the six months. After a decade of mostly happy marriage and a great kid I still don't know why he dragged his feet so much. He has said he regrets waiting and it definitely made me frustrated to have to lean on him like that but it was time.

DH dragged his feet too and he doesn't know why he did it either. He's so happy to be married--baffles both of us!

After a little more than a year of dating, we decided to get married. It was Jan. I would not live with him until we were engaged and my lease was up in June (had to sign a new lease in May). We wanted to be married that year, so in Feb I started planning. By March, I had a dress and a deposit down for an Fall wedding date (all of which he agreed to). But still no official proposal and ring. He just waited and waited and waited. It wasn't until late April (and I was ready to kill him) that he finally proposed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why did you propose to your girlfriend when you did? Was she giving hints? Did you want to or did you feel like you had no choice?

She proposed to me... the idea that men propose to women is gendered, anti-feminist, and just really fucking weird.

Did you turn in your testicles before or after you accepted her proposal?

[Anonymous]

We'd only been dating a few weeks, but her super religious family brought it up in an attempt to get rid of me. They thought I would lead her to "sin." I was 20 and dumb when they suggested we get married after about a month of dating. They wanted to prove I was up to no good, but I called their bluff. We got married three months later.