Cleaning out grandma's house - WOW!!! greed

[Anonymous]

If you aren't willing to help out with the clean out, you don't get to make claims to stuff.

When we cleaned out my grandmother's house, my aunt kept claiming stuff and wanting it stored until she could pick it up but NOT helping at all with the clean out.

[Anonymous]

Op here -

I travel home 4 times a year to visit with my grandmother. I call often and send photos and art work from my DDs. My DDs also talk to her at least once a week. Grandpa died 15 years ago and I know she is lonely so even though I live so far away, I know I interact the best I can. My cousins often go months without stopping by - because, you know they work and have their own family.... blah blah, blah....

They are not "cleaning out the house." They are taking what they want and leaving the cr@p. My mother gets to empty the house as my aunt/uncle are leaving for several months in the south soon. The china, silver, tv, hope chest, antique dolls from her childhood I remember playing with, jewelry, lamps, Hummels, jade figurines from my grandfather's overseas trip have all "been claimed."

SHe moved in assisted living about 4 weeks ago. I made a special trip out last week with DD because I felt it would give her something to look forward to and think about as she was moved.
There is no sale date - but like pps have said, the vultures have come out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't willing to help out with the clean out, you don't get to make claims to stuff.

When we cleaned out my grandmother's house, my aunt kept claiming stuff and wanting it stored until she could pick it up but NOT helping at all with the clean out.

Same happened when my grandmother died. The aunt who lived with her bailed and finally after something like 40 or 50 years found her own place. My mom traveled across the country to clean out the house which was piled to the ceiling with stuff. After my mom died suddenly my aunts and cousins wanted my grandmother's furniture that my mom decided to store and eventually ship across the country. I let them have it. It was ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here -

I travel home 4 times a year to visit with my grandmother. I call often and send photos and art work from my DDs. My DDs also talk to her at least once a week. Grandpa died 15 years ago and I know she is lonely so even though I live so far away, I know I interact the best I can. My cousins often go months without stopping by - because, you know they work and have their own family.... blah blah, blah....

They are not "cleaning out the house." They are taking what they want and leaving the cr@p. My mother gets to empty the house as my aunt/uncle are leaving for several months in the south soon. The china, silver, tv, hope chest, antique dolls from her childhood I remember playing with, jewelry, lamps, Hummels, jade figurines from my grandfather's overseas trip have all "been claimed."

SHe moved in assisted living about 4 weeks ago. I made a special trip out last week with DD because I felt it would give her something to look forward to and think about as she was moved.
There is no sale date - but like pps have said, the vultures have come out.

AND HAVE YOU contacted them yet to let them know a few specific things that you want? Yes or no.

Until you do, stop whining. You are a an adult. State your wishes clearly and politely. As PP said, SPEAK NOW or forever hold your peace.

[Anonymous]

Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

[Anonymous]

Now what 19:48?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

Sounds like you claimed plenty. You really want more STUFF? You made it sound like you got nothing. And by the way, you're a grandchild, not a child. You shouldn't feel quite this entitled. You don't get to "skip" a generation...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

Class? Oh, honey.

I have a necklace, a pair of earrings, and a small painting from my grandparents. You have this laundry list and want MORE?

"Classy."

[Anonymous]

I come from a large family. My sister cleaned out the family home before the body was cold. She's a big deal catholic in DC. I say God sorts us all out in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grandmother moved into assisted living.
My cousins, who are local to the area , have gone through her house "claiming" items and taking them out.
My siblings and I live 800-2500 miles away and have not claimed anything.
My parents, who live nearby my grandmother, are on vacation and will be back next week.
My dad, the executor of her estate, doesn't stand up for me and my siblings to make sure we have a few items from my grandmother and have not told the other side of the family to delay removing things from her house.

I want to email them telling them how selfish they were to do this without everyone participating...

Contact them and speak up, or stop whining. Be an adult

But if she is not there and they are, why is she getting mad at them? Are they closer to her since they are in closer proximity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

Why don't you ask them for your dad's bookshelf?

Since it is your father's I am sure they will understand.

[Anonymous]

This is not uncommon. Same thing happened to my grandparents. My parents were upset that I didn't "get" anything. But there was nothing I wanted. If you really want something, speak up now. Ask them please to save it for you and tell them how much it means to you. And let the rest go. You can't change what other people do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

Class? Oh, honey.

I have a necklace, a pair of earrings, and a small painting from my grandparents. You have this laundry list and want MORE?

"Classy."

No - this is how it went:
Me: Cousin T, I hear you are at Grandma's house. Can you set aside a few things for me?
Cousin T: Sure. WHat do you want?
Me: How about those little glasses in the kitchen?
Cousin T: Nope Cousin R took them.
Me: How about the CHristmas houses?
Cousin T: Nope Cousin D took them.
Me: How about the china?
Cousin T: Nope that's mine.
Me: How about the doll stroller?
Cousin T: Nope Cousin D took that.
Me: How about the Hummels?
Cousin T: Nope cousin R took them.
Me: How about the bear rug?
Cousin T: Nope I took that.

I'd be happy with a necklace but as you can read above, the jewelry is spoken for by the other side of the family.

But you say I lack class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

Why don't you ask them for your dad's bookshelf?

Since it is your father's I am sure they will understand.

Me: but that was my dad's bookcase.
Cousin T: BUt Grandma said I could have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bear skin rug, claimed
Little water glasses, claimed
Grandfather's desk, claimed
Bookshelf that was my dad's when he was a little boy, claimed
Doll stroller my DDs played with when they visited, claimed
Christmas ornaments from the Depression, claimed
Christmas houses (Pre Department 56) claimed
Tools, claimed
Ice box from the 40'S (?) claimed
Grandfather's clarinet, claimed

I'm mad at myself that I didn't have more balls to claim items as mine when I was there. I had no idea they were "claiming" things until my sibling texted me asking what I wanted. I later found out all the things I wanted were already claimed. I didn't go through the house making a mental note of stuff as Grandma is still alive. I guess I have too much class.

Sounds like you claimed plenty. You really want more STUFF? You made it sound like you got nothing. And by the way, you're a grandchild, not a child. You shouldn't feel quite this entitled. You don't get to "skip" a generation...

I HAVE gotten NOTHING so far.