Why is being beautiful so important to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The importance of beauty is due to evolution. People want healthy children.

So I don't think it's necessarily sad or bad that beauty is important. For most people - they can improve their appearances greatly by living a healthy lifestyle - i.e. eating right, going to the gym, and taking care of their skin.

For me personally - what's bad or sad is when people have only their beauty going for them (i.e. they are otherwise awful people) and/or the beauty is super fake.

+1 It is hardwired into our DNA. We can try to fight it, but it will never be easy to disregard beauty just due to the way our bodies work.

[Anonymous]

Because as humans we derive pleasure from looking at/seeing images that our brain deems as attractive. Its innate, its been studied over and over again in babies and other mammals.

I would hate to wake up to an ugly image every day, how depressing. not that one needs to be gorgeous but "pleasant" would be nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do us women spend a lot of money, time and energy into looking our best? Why is it so important to us?

For some it is their meal ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do us women spend a lot of money, time and energy into looking our best? Why is it so important to us?

Amazingly powerful question.

Never even thought of that.


Hmmmmmm why can it be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because people treat you better, and are nicer to you, when you're pretty.

It's pretty simple.

Do they really? How so?

Is the above question serious? Read any thread about women's experience losing weight or suddenly becoming more attractive. It's really pretty unbelievable. If you are an overweight or ugly woman, you are largely invisible and ignored. I very quickly lost a significant amount of weight in my 20s. Before then, guys at bars would never talk to me. If we were in a group conversation with friends, they would mostly ignore me or if they did talk to me be sure to make it clear quickly they were not interested. I'm sure I never would dated any of my past BFs are married my now husband if I had not become more attractive. In addition, in college, I applied for many jobs with my friends (waitressing, etc) and was never called back and my friends were, despite that we had the same credentials. In addition to personal anecdotes, there is research to confirm this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The importance of beauty is due to evolution. People want healthy children.

So I don't think it's necessarily sad or bad that beauty is important. For most people - they can improve their appearances greatly by living a healthy lifestyle - i.e. eating right, going to the gym, and taking care of their skin.

For me personally - what's bad or sad is when people have only their beauty going for them (i.e. they are otherwise awful people) and/or the beauty is super fake.

+1 It is hardwired into our DNA. We can try to fight it, but it will never be easy to disregard beauty just due to the way our bodies work.

This is the fundamental answer - everything else is just the result of this. Haven't any of you read the studies about facial symmetry and beauty? We want the best genetic mates to create the best genetic children. How can you tell if your mate has good genes? The face is symmetrical, the body is in proportion, tons of other stuff we don't even recognize like pheromones.

This has become distorted in modern society, but the fundamentals are still there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do we keep perpetuating this standard? Why can't we as a society place less importance on a woman's physical beauty and focus on her intelligence and accomplishments?

Can you imagine what women could accomplish if they used all the energy and brain power and effort they put into putting together outfits; obsessing over lathering their face with products and scrutinizing their faces in the mirror for wrinkles and focused instead on solving math problems, understanding geopolitics and curing cancer?

I always think this. I'm not even particularly high maintenance but when I think of how time little my husband spends . . . It makes me sad/jealous. But I value being "pretty" and am too vain to throw in the towel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do us women spend a lot of money, time and energy into looking our best? Why is it so important to us?

For some it is their meal ticket.

What's the difference between the "beauty" meal ticket vs. "brains" meal ticket? People should do the best with the meal ticket they've been handed. This includes men, its not a phenomenon that's solely experienced by women!

Both of these are qualities or traits that we are essentially born with. Sure you can make yourself "more attractive", or study really hard so you can get into a good school and have a successful career but you if you are of average intelligence - like most of us - you will always be THAT. you can improve upon it but you won't ever be highly intelligent or a genius. Just like you can improve upon your looks but you'll never be Giselle.

Those who use beauty as their meal ticket are at least smart enough to realize that they need to use it to get ahead.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP who said people treat you better if you are pretty.

I didn't say I condoned this, or that I liked it, but it has been true my whole life.

Being pretty, slender and well-groomed meant people bent the rules for me, were happy to see me, accepted my apologies, didn't discipline me as harshly etc. etc.

I would have to be dense not to notice.

Occasionally it means people were angry and mean to be me for no real reason, co-workers come to mind , only because they resented me. I've had people tell me that my success in a situation was only due to my looks.

I teach my children the same things you teach yours -- pretty is as pretty does. But I know they will run smack dab into reality when they get older.

[Anonymous]

I always measure myself by the opinions of homeless people. After all, they have demonstrated good judgment.

Anonymous wrote:It's not important to me. But I was never pretty. I've even had homeless people call me ugly. So I guess I grew up with the mindset that the competition or game was for other girls/women, and not for me. I have never been qualified to compete.

Even when I do everything I know how to do to look pretty, I still look ugly.

[Anonymous]

Its biology that dictates it.

Cost of reproduction is very low for men and extremely high for women. Women need to find a spouse who is a a good provider because of that. If they can attract a lot of men, they can choose the best provider and husband from them. To attract a lot of men, they need to be beautiful.

Similarly, men need to be very successful because that will ensure that they have beautiful women vying for their attention.

So, men need to be rich and women need to be beautiful...and it proves that Bimbos actually get this right

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

C'mon, because humans are social animals, and a woman's beauty is what society values most about her. Not hard to understand. However unfortunate, the preoccupation with beauty is completely rational.

Are you male or female? Either way, this is an awful statement to make.

How is the statement awful? Society's values are awful perhaps, but I am hardly endorsing them. But I think it far better to acknowledge the pressure women face than to pretend women's concern with beauty is irrational. Otherwise women get punished for caring (shallow, narcissistic, slutty!) or punished for not caring (ugly, sloppy, let herself go!)

+1000 to the first and third posts here.

[Anonymous]

Man here. No, women don't need to be beautiful. I pick up my kid from school and look around and it's quite clear neither women nor men need to be beautiful to find spouses, earn enough to live in my neighborhood, and by all appearances happily raise a family. It may be that many of the moms I see spend and spend oodles of money on cosmetics, cosmetic surgery, etc., but most of their husbands barely notice. It's something you do for yourselves, or maybe, rationally, because you really wanted to trade up a half grade on the attractiveness scale of the men who were interested in you. But psssst, a little secret, you can trade up much further by having the right personality in general and especially for specific men.

Anonymous wrote:Its biology that dictates it.

Cost of reproduction is very low for men and extremely high for women. Women need to find a spouse who is a a good provider because of that. If they can attract a lot of men, they can choose the best provider and husband from them. To attract a lot of men, they need to be beautiful.

Similarly, men need to be very successful because that will ensure that they have beautiful women vying for their attention.

So, men need to be rich and women need to be beautiful...and it proves that Bimbos actually get this right

[Anonymous]

Beauty is power. In the workplace if you are a beautiful woman men will want to help you move forward. That and F you but also just help you. It helps open doors. Particularly if you couple the beauty with charm. I'm turning 40 this year, am of mixed ethnic background and "exotic" looking, head turning. I'm just sorry I've figured this all out now but use it to my benefit. wavy hair beautifully done daily, make up flawless, exercise daily and impeccably dressed = catching the big fish who is charmed & interested before my beauty fades. I find 10+ years older extremely sexy. #Lucky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. No, women don't need to be beautiful. I pick up my kid from school and look around and it's quite clear neither women nor men need to be beautiful to find spouses, earn enough to live in my neighborhood, and by all appearances happily raise a family. It may be that many of the moms I see spend and spend oodles of money on cosmetics, cosmetic surgery, etc., but most of their husbands barely notice. It's something you do for yourselves, or maybe, rationally, because you really wanted to trade up a half grade on the attractiveness scale of the men who were interested in you. But psssst, a little secret, you can trade up much further by having the right personality in general and especially for specific men.

Anonymous wrote:Its biology that dictates it.

Cost of reproduction is very low for men and extremely high for women. Women need to find a spouse who is a a good provider because of that. If they can attract a lot of men, they can choose the best provider and husband from them. To attract a lot of men, they need to be beautiful.

Similarly, men need to be very successful because that will ensure that they have beautiful women vying for their attention.

So, men need to be rich and women need to be beautiful...and it proves that Bimbos actually get this right

Yes, we as a society have moved beyond flat out appearances as a judgement for mating (hooray, we're better than those birds of paradise), but the underlying tendencies are still there. You may be an average man happily married to an average woman, but the incredibly attractive mom at school is still going to catch your eye. Now take things out of our DCUM bubble where we are cognizant of our human nature, and you will find many more examples where attractive people are treated differently.

I was once on a long flight with my obese aunt, and the woman across the aisle kept complaining about a bad smell. As the person who had to share an armrest with my aunt, I didn't smell a thing, but the woman spent the whole flight making a fuss, asking for air fresheners, and glaring at my aunt. I guarantee that would not have happened to a fit and attractive person.