Don't be Surprised When a Cornered Animal Fights Back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He didn't say he got out of the car. I would find it completely reasonable if someone - adult or child - was being so distracting as to endanger everyone in the car to pull over. In this case, as OP describes it, he might have pulled over and said something to the effect of "Honey, i pulled over because your behavior right now is endangering us. It is distracting to my safe operation of the vehicle. When you've calmed down, I'll start driving again."

ummm, somehow I doubt this how it went down...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't threaten violence and I don't know how that was inferred. As I said, I tend to walk way when she gets abusive but I've had her physically stand in front of me dating me to push her out of the way. Last week, I was in the car when I pulled over and got out beside she was on a tirade that was distracting to my driving. If anything, I should get a restraining order on her, boot her out of the house and take the kids. My ribs still ache from where she kicked me three weeks ago. I think she is mentally ill. I want her committed.

Oh, but he did say he got out, pp.

[Anonymous]

Call a hotline. She kicked you in the ribs three weeks ago? She regularly resorts to deeply personal attacks?

I know someone who enjoyed escalating minor arguments as a demonstration of power, also a woman (as am I). It was horrible. It didn't get physical and I don't recall ever "going for the jugular" like she did. I cannot imagine this dynamic taking place with someone I built a family with and loved.

Get some distance. Call a domestic violence hotline and learn more about the cycle of abuse and what you can do to protect yourself.

This is a horrible situation. I hope you find your way past this, OP. You don't want to lose who you are by stooping to her level of ugliness. Stay safe. Stay whole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Call a hotline. She kicked you in the ribs three weeks ago? She regularly resorts to deeply personal attacks?

I know someone who enjoyed escalating minor arguments as a demonstration of power, also a woman (as am I). It was horrible. It didn't get physical and I don't recall ever "going for the jugular" like she did. I cannot imagine this dynamic taking place with someone I built a family with and loved.

Get some distance. Call a domestic violence hotline and learn more about the cycle of abuse and what you can do to protect yourself.

This is a horrible situation. I hope you find your way past this, OP. You don't want to lose who you are by stooping to her level of ugliness. Stay safe. Stay whole.

+1 http://www.thehotline.org

Your wife sounds like she could have a personality disorder. Read up on narcissism. Since there has already been physical violence, I think you need to take steps to protect yourself and your kids, but call the hotline first for advice on how to proceed. You may also want to consult a lawyer.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me as if she cannot take what she gives out.

That is cowardly on her part.

It also sounds as if your anger is brewing under the surface & that you are close to reaching the threshold where you will fight back....w/a huge vengeance.

Hopefully you both can talk this out before you explode on her.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious about something my DW does. I will not attribute it to other it most women, but maybe other women can shed insight into her behavior.

My wife has a big case of double standards. She behave in the rudest, bitchiest manner but when the tables turn on her she is suddenly upset and offended. She really can't argue or fight fair and will get into using language I consider borderine abusive. For example, she feels free that she can say whatever she wants - no matter how offensive or denigrating - about me, my mother or my family, but if I would do the same she would completely lose her sh*t. Most of the time, I just walk away. But there have been a few occasions when she has cornered me and, well, you know what they say about cornered animals: don't be surprised when they fight back.

Woman here. Dude, this is not a woman thing. This is an abusive personality disorder thing. My soon to be ex was like this, except he used his manly size to bully me along with the denigrating and crazy abusive shit he would say.

He would have a double standard too, and a total blind spot to it. Pathological. Therapy didnt help.

Dont be baited into striking her. If you do, it will be a game changer in the divorce that you are headed for. Want an arrest record? Then be the cornered animal that fights back. Case closed. YOURE the asshole then, and what led to it wont matter.

Considering losing the self control you have apparently maintained, and are maintaining with increasing difficulty, then your thinking side of your head better kick in fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't threaten violence and I don't know how that was inferred. As I said, I tend to walk way when she gets abusive but I've had her physically stand in front of me dating me to push her out of the way. Last week, I was in the car when I pulled over and got out beside she was on a tirade that was distracting to my driving. If anything, I should get a restraining order on her, boot her out of the house and take the kids. My ribs still ache from where she kicked me three weeks ago. I think she is mentally ill. I want her committed.

I would not want to be married to someone like this. If what you say is true OP, why stay in such misery. I will read further to see if this has already been addressed and answered.

[Anonymous]

This is very, very typical of women nowadays (I am one). I see this in most of my friends - so, SO offended by their husbands but they behave in all sorts of manner and it's supposed to be ok - or they start in with the 'feminism' nonsense to defend their bad behavior.

Treat someone as you want to be treated. If you truly believe in woman's lib, stop pulling the 'fragile' card and face down your own behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't threaten violence and I don't know how that was inferred. As I said, I tend to walk way when she gets abusive but I've had her physically stand in front of me dating me to push her out of the way. Last week, I was in the car when I pulled over and got out beside she was on a tirade that was distracting to my driving. If anything, I should get a restraining order on her, boot her out of the house and take the kids. My ribs still ache from where she kicked me three weeks ago. I think she is mentally ill. I want her committed.

And why are you still in this marriage, OP?

because of the kids. and unless the wife is an axe murderess who is also a crack whore, men don't get custody.

Not true you just need to document, document document and get a lawyer who specializes in domestic relations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is I Hate My Wife and She's Insane and Horrible About My Mom and 16 Year Old Daughter guy... Again. You can always tell its him because he makes the most outrageous claims about his hideous beast wife who has to be the devil herself the way he describes her, and it always involves his mother or teenage daughter.

What he said here sounds real to me and there's no reason for all the mean posts in response -- unless these posters recognize their abusive selves and are having knee-jerk reactions justifying it here, which is how it comes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is I Hate My Wife and She's Insane and Horrible About My Mom and 16 Year Old Daughter guy... Again. You can always tell its him because he makes the most outrageous claims about his hideous beast wife who has to be the devil herself the way he describes her, and it always involves his mother or teenage daughter.

I know. It's actually kind of laughable and hilarious.

What a loser. Talk about being socially regressed to the age of a seven year old

You're probably abusive yourself. I can't see how else someone could post responses like this.

[Anonymous]

For the OP - find yourself a therapist (no couples therapy, for you only), and as good a lawyer as you can afford. Also, keep a diary. Start writing stuff down daily. Keep it in a safe place - maybe at work so she won't find it - and whatever you do do not move out without your kids in tow. Possession is 9/10ths the law in child custody so do not move without them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's see you. You compared her to an animal and called her a bitch in the next breath?

Yeah, we're done here. Your problem is your an asshole. Good luck.

No, he compared himself to a cornered animal and called her a bitch.

He's a stupidly macho, pointless human who should just divorce. He doesn't have the emotional maturity to be married. She doesn't sound any better. Sometimes the best thing to do for a relationship is put it out of its misery.

He say she was acting bitchy, not that she's a bitch. There is a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very, very typical of women nowadays (I am one). I see this in most of my friends - so, SO offended by their husbands but they behave in all sorts of manner and it's supposed to be ok - or they start in with the 'feminism' nonsense to defend their bad behavior.

Treat someone as you want to be treated. If you truly believe in woman's lib, stop pulling the 'fragile' card and face down your own behavior.

This has nothing to do with women's lib. ????? It has to do with people who were never raised to manage their anger in a healthy way. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am curious about something my DW does. I will not attribute it to other it most women, but maybe other women can shed insight into her behavior.

My wife has a big case of double standards. She behave in the rudest, bitchiest manner but when the tables turn on her she is suddenly upset and offended. She really can't argue or fight fair and will get into using language I consider borderine abusive. For example, she feels free that she can say whatever she wants - no matter how offensive or denigrating - about me, my mother or my family, but if I would do the same she would completely lose her sh*t. Most of the time, I just walk away. But there have been a few occasions when she has cornered me and, well, you know what they say about cornered animals: don't be surprised when they fight back.

Instead of just walking away, you need to tell her it's inappropriate to speak to anyone like that, and when she's civil, you will be more than happy to discuss the issue. "then" walk away.