Field Trips

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are in first and fourth grades. If they are truly not able to follow basic directions like staying with a group or not climbing where they aren't allowed, I don't think field trips are your real problem here...

Have to agree. The fourth grader gets lost and wanders off? Maybe she can have a buddy assigned to her? Something doesn't sound right about both kids getting lost and all the parents are horrible chaperones. Wish we could hear someone else's point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are in first and fourth grades. If they are truly not able to follow basic directions like staying with a group or not climbing where they aren't allowed, I don't think field trips are your real problem here...

Have to agree. The fourth grader gets lost and wanders off? Maybe she can have a buddy assigned to her? Something doesn't sound right about both kids getting lost and all the parents are horrible chaperones. Wish we could hear someone else's point of view.

4th grader doesn't wander off really. She easily gets left behind because she's stopping to read all of the signs at places like museums. Most kids, and most adults, don't stop to read everything written. She does and chaperones just tend to wonder off with the other kids and leave her behind. She doesn't realize they are gone because she's reading. That's the way she enjoys museums. Maybe it's my kids' school but the (mostly) moms that chaperone are ditzy or so busy talking to the other chaperones that I don't have any trust in them.

There's nothing wrong with my DC but when the chaperones can't be trusted then I'm not comfortable letting my kid go out in public with them.

Funny that I was talking about this with a friend tonight in line with a fast-ish food type place and another mom with her teenage daughter next to us start laughing. She said, I feel the same way and it doesn't get better. The damn parents all want to be the kids' friends, so you can't trust them to chaperone them when they are older either! Haha! I might be in the minority on this one, but certainly not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kids are in first and fourth grades. If they are truly not able to follow basic directions like staying with a group or not climbing where they aren't allowed, I don't think field trips are your real problem here...

Have to agree. The fourth grader gets lost and wanders off? Maybe she can have a buddy assigned to her? Something doesn't sound right about both kids getting lost and all the parents are horrible chaperones. Wish we could hear someone else's point of view.[/quote

OP here again - not sure why it doesn't sound right, but it happens. Yes they both came back in one piece but I should expect better supervision than that. I don't know if all of the parents are horrible chaperones but the vast majority of the ones we've seen over the past 4 years have been neglectful in my opinion. My DH has the same opinion and he's gone on about half of the field trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

4th grader doesn't wander off really. She easily gets left behind because she's stopping to read all of the signs at places like museums. Most kids, and most adults, don't stop to read everything written. She does and chaperones just tend to wonder off with the other kids and leave her behind. She doesn't realize they are gone because she's reading. That's the way she enjoys museums. Maybe it's my kids' school but the (mostly) moms that chaperone are ditzy or so busy talking to the other chaperones that I don't have any trust in them.

There's nothing wrong with my DC but when the chaperones can't be trusted then I'm not comfortable letting my kid go out in public with them.

Funny that I was talking about this with a friend tonight in line with a fast-ish food type place and another mom with her teenage daughter next to us start laughing. She said, I feel the same way and it doesn't get better. The damn parents all want to be the kids' friends, so you can't trust them to chaperone them when they are older either! Haha! I might be in the minority on this one, but certainly not alone.

There may not be anything wrong with your daughter, but a fourth grader certainly should be old enough to pay attention and keep up with the group.

[Anonymous]

I chaperoned on a first grade field trip to walk around the monuments. It was VERY stressful.

Field trips in crowed public venues, at that age, is really tough. When my next child enters first grade, I will absolutely volunteer for that field trip again. I do not think all chaperones are vigilant. It's pretty scary to think of with a first grader. Thankfully, the kids always seem to be ok on these field trips as someone else already pointed out. As unlikely as it seems to be based on sheer numbers from past field trips, the consequences of a chaperone being careless are too great so I want to be there for crowded public venues or close proximity to water, until my child is old enough to handle some serious situations.

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing. In 8 years, you DD needs to be ready to say goodbye to you at a college dorm and manage 100% on her own. And there are hundreds of small steps between now when she safely can't go with her class to a museum without a parent and 2500 days from now, when you lose control. In that time, you owe it to her to teach her how to be independent of you-- safely. You have to gradually trust your child to follow the rules and take responsibility for keeping herself safe (starting with staying with the group and following field trip rules) which means gradually learning to let go and trust her. Key word: gradually (small steps, a little at a time, building on success). Toughest thing for a mom to do. But you can't supervise and control every moment of their lives until they turn 18, and then expect that they will overnight become a functional adult who can live alone, do laundry, attend class and, much,much more importantly know better than to take a drink from a stranger or get in the car with a friend who has been drinking.

Start small and start now with the expectations you have for her keeping herself safe at a Smithsonian (where there are cameras and guards covering every inch and she is safe, even if the chaperones day drink). Work up to Girl Scout sleep away camp in a couple years, or such, and a good, supervised academic or sports camp at UVA or such in late middle or early high school. In the long run, she'll be safer for it.

[Anonymous]

I understand what OP is saying about how her daughter gets caught up in reading everything at museums but I don't think this should interfere with being able to go on field trips without her parents there. Instead of worrying about what the adults are/aren't doing why not focus on teaching your daughter what to do should she get separated from the group. A 4th grader should certainly be able to handle that.

Also another question for OP, what are you worried will happen to her???

When I consider whether or not to let my kids do something I evaluate the potential risk. So what is the risk associated with a 4th grader getting separated from her school group at one of the museums. Maybe some feelings of panic when she realizes she's lost from the group and then wasted time while she finds a guard/museum staff who will help her get back to the group. I really doubt she will be abducted and think the chance of serious personal injury is tiny and probably not much different whether or not you/DH is there. I'm thinking the worst case scenario is probably being left behind. And then what? She'd be stuck hanging out with museum security until they could contact someone from the school or you to retrieve her. And, yes it would totally suck to have to drop everything and deal with that and I would be pissed at the school. But at the end of the day she would be fine. To me the risk, particularly with a child old enough to be trusted not to leave the museum and to find security and to communicate the needed information for museum personnel to help her, is minimal. I am really curious as to what OP thinks is going to happen to her kids.

I'm really trying to remember how old I was when I was allowed to take the bus/metro to the museums alone with a friend - I don't think it was in 4th grade but it wasn't much later, maybe 5th or 6th. I know it was before seventh grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you all feel about field trips?

I’ve take a hard stance on not letting my kids go on any field trips without me or DH. There are several reasons why: bus safety, parent chaperones, location (mostly being in DC), and my kids’ personalities (one’s a runner/climber and the other’s a reader and wanderer who have both either gotten “lost” before or was unaccounted for during school events). I also have witnessed parent chaperones that are more concerned with chatting with the other chaperones and not watching the kids and my DH swears that one mom last year smelled strongly of alcohol during not one, but two field trips.

When they were younger it seemed that we could easily either chaperone the field trip or easily avoid it, but it’s getting harder as they get older. The school/field trip locations are limiting the number of chaperones. This year my DD’s class will take 3 field trips and we will be lucky if we get selected to chaperone for even 1.

Responses won’t change my opinion, but I was curious if others are worried, but justify the risk or if you really didn’t see any concerns.

Please provide the specific, but honest, details...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you all feel about field trips?

I’ve take a hard stance on not letting my kids go on any field trips without me or DH. There are several reasons why: bus safety, parent chaperones, location (mostly being in DC), and my kids’ personalities (one’s a runner/climber and the other’s a reader and wanderer who have both either gotten “lost” before or was unaccounted for during school events). I also have witnessed parent chaperones that are more concerned with chatting with the other chaperones and not watching the kids and my DH swears that one mom last year smelled strongly of alcohol during not one, but two field trips.

When they were younger it seemed that we could easily either chaperone the field trip or easily? avoid it, but it’s getting harder as they get older. The school/field trip locations are limiting the number of chaperones. This year my DD’s class will take 3 field trips and we will be lucky if we get selected to chaperone for even 1.

Responses won’t change my opinion, but I was curious if others are worried, but justify the risk or if you really didn’t see any concerns.

Please provide the specific, but honest, details...

Honestly? It's you. I just retread what you wrote. Your younger kid's experience has nothing to do with field trips. Second, how do you know the details of what happened to your younger kid? It sounds like he told you what happened and you're taking it as truth. Perhaps it happened that way, for that king but more likely than not, it didn't. Second, with regard to your daughter, your references to "flighty" chaperones makes it clear that your looking to find problems. If you are so adventurous, explain to the teacher that your fourth grader dawdles and can't be trusted to stay with her group, so she needs a buddy assigned to her plus the chaperone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you all feel about field trips?

I’ve take a hard stance on not letting my kids go on any field trips without me or DH. There are several reasons why: bus safety, parent chaperones, location (mostly being in DC), and my kids’ personalities (one’s a runner/climber and the other’s a reader and wanderer who have both either gotten “lost” before or was unaccounted for during school events). I also have witnessed parent chaperones that are more concerned with chatting with the other chaperones and not watching the kids and my DH swears that one mom last year smelled strongly of alcohol during not one, but two field trips.

When they were younger it seemed that we could easily either chaperone the field trip or easily? avoid it, but it’s getting harder as they get older. The school/field trip locations are limiting the number of chaperones. This year my DD’s class will take 3 field trips and we will be lucky if we get selected to chaperone for even 1.

Responses won’t change my opinion, but I was curious if others are worried, but justify the risk or if you really didn’t see any concerns.

Please provide the specific, but honest, details...

Honestly? It's you. I just retread what you wrote. Your younger kid's experience has nothing to do with field trips. Second, how do you know the details of what happened to your younger kid? It sounds like he told you what happened and you're taking it as truth. Perhaps it happened that way, for that king but more likely than not, it didn't. Second, with regard to your daughter, your references to "flighty" chaperones makes it clear that your looking to find problems. If you are so adventurous, explain to the teacher that your fourth grader dawdles and can't be trusted to stay with her group, so she needs a buddy assigned to her plus the chaperone.

I know the details because the teacher confirmed them. When my youngest told me the story on a Friday afternoon, I actually assumed he was making most of it up. How do you not realize a Kindergartener is not in class for 30 minutes? I sent the teacher an email that recounted the story and stated that I know kids this age exaggerate so I was just checking in to see what really happened. To my surprise, I received an email back from the teacher regretfully telling me that my kids story was unfortunately very accurate and she was mortified. We spoke by phone after that and she stated this is why she hated field trips and thought they were more stressful than they were worth. Particularly at a school like ours where the parents can all afford and are taking their kids to all kids of places. These kids aren't hurting for enrichment activities.

In regards to older kids, are you seriously suggesting that another 4th grader should more responsible than the adult chaperones and be her "buddy"? Sadly, at our school that is probably the case, but that shouldn't be a responsibility put on a 9yo. Haha....it makes it clear I'm looking for problems when most of the moms are flighty? lol....would actually be funny if it weren't true.

Hey - thanks for everyone's take on the issue. Like I said, doesn't change my mind, but I was just curious about what other people thought.

[Anonymous]

I can understand your fears as I am the type of parent who likes my children (particularly my 8-year old boy who likes to wander) in my sight. If he's playing outside, I am keeping an eye on him from the window. If he walks to his friend's house, I either walk with him or watch him go in the door. However, when it comes to him being in school or on a field trip or at a friend's house, I have to "let it go" and just trust that others are doing their job. I also talk to my son and tell him about staying with the group, keeping an eye on the chaperone, etc.

I understand your fears, especially with your 1st grader. If you talk to your child and emphasize staying with the group and go over what to do if he separates (and the name tag idea a pp had was great) then he should be fine. Perhaps also mention to the teacher that you are worried a bit because he's a wanderer and can she make sure he's with a chaperone that will keep a close eye on him.

For your 4th grader, I think you are being way too overprotective. You say there is "nothing wrong" with this child. Short of some special needs, there is no reason that a 4th grader should not be allowed on a field trip. Tell your child this is not the time to be reading every piece of information and that she needs to stay with the group. Tell her you'll go back sometime so she can spend time reading what she missed. At 9 years old she should have no problem staying with the group. And a chaperone should have no problem keeping an eye on her.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Also, your fourth grader should know what to do if for some reason the group leaves her behind. Go to someone who works there and tell them. With just that piece of information, she should be safe.

[Anonymous]

Really, what do you think is going to happen to them?

[Anonymous]

You believe no one can watch your kids as good as you and therefore are looking for problems - and you will find them. Sure RARE mistakes happen. If you want your kids to miss out because the reward doesn't outweigh the risk to you/them, then you know what to do.

[Anonymous]

I also have a 1st and 4th grader and I'm also pretty prone to worry but I have never thought of this particular worry before. They fear being left behind, so they are never left behind. I don't lose them when we're out because they purposefully keep up with me. Your kids are either choosing to take off or choosing not to care if the group is leaving.