Field Trips

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP. You do trust other adults all the time, as long as you personally have carefully selected them. And your child is far too advanced for school field trips and other group activities. You have made this quite clear.

Um, yes. You trust every Jane or Joe just because they have a kid also? The ability to procreate does not serve as a metric for being a good parent or even a good human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, OP. You do trust other adults all the time, as long as you personally have carefully selected them. And your child is far too advanced for school field trips and other group activities. You have made this quite clear.

Um, yes. You trust every Jane or Joe just because they have a kid also? The ability to procreate does not serve as a metric for being a good parent or even a good human being.

Wait, why are we talking about procreation, good parents, and good human beings? I thought we were talking about school field trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That sends two messages - one, she's not really trustworthy, and two, adults other than you or dad or the teacher can't really be trusted. That's not what you want her to feel, and you'll say that of course SHE's trustworthy, she's just smart and gets delayed reading stuff, etc. but that is not how she will think of it in her kid's mind. You can tell her all day that it's not about her, she's great, etc., but what you tell her and what she'll feel can be two very different things. She'll internalize the idea that mom and dad can't let her do things without their being there, so there must be some reason she's different from the other kids whose parents aren't on every single field trip. And she'll wonder if there's something "off" about every other adult so maybe she should be suspicious and scared.

.

But the truth is that the kid is not trustworthy, and OP doesn't trust anyone other than herself or her spouse. So OP is sending the correct message. Until the kid learns how to behave on a field trip, she should not be allowed to go on one without her parents. I feel that OP is doing the other chaperones a favor here -- I know I wouldn't want to be saddled with watching kids like OPs during a field trip.

OP here - I do want to clear up that I don't believe DH and I are the only ones to be trusted with her. They've both started in a home daycare at 6 weeks old and we have babysitters all of the time. That doesn't address being outside the house without us, but I think demonstrates that we've trusted our kids to others from the very beginning. We trust her with most family members and many friends of ours. My kids go off with these other adults quite often without us. I was shocked by the lack of supervision, however, that I saw in the parents that went on the field trips that I have attended. This may not be the case for every school, but most of the moms couldn't bother to stop talking to each other for a minute to even look up to see where the kids they had been entrusted with were at. Some locations, this isn't really a bad thing At an over-crowded museum I thought it was negligent.

Technically, DD is considered in the genius range for IQ so she does behave differently than a lot of kids in *certain* situations. Her mind goes beyond her actual maturity level and that can get a kid in trouble when a parent or trusted adults isn't around. Thinking she can do something that is dangerous and she knows is dangerous, but rationalizes that she knows best. She views everything in a logical way so that gut instinct just isn't there. So, if she gets separated, it doesn't even register that she needs to stop and go find an adult to get her back with her group. You might think, well once she realizes that she's separated from her group that logically she would think the next step is to get an adult to help her. But, in her case, if they are at a place that captures her interest and especially that has something to read she will just keep reading and ignore that gut instinct to get back with her group. Her brain prioritizes the absorbing of "fun" information is more important than staying with the group. Most of the time the other kids are walking pretty quickly through the exhibits and stopping to read a few things (so if she were to keep an eye on her group she wouldn't get anything out of the field trips any way.) She feels this way and prefers that she go to these places with us or a trusted friend so she can enjoy it her way.

Again, it's your DD's issue. If she does this all the time in a museum, for example, and the other kids are off, how does the chaperone, keep an eye out for all of the kids under her/his care? The other kids move on with the group, your DD is still reading, possibly ignoring the chaperone. I'd be annoyed if I had to keep treating a 9 yr old like a 3 yr old to keep up and pay attention.

You and your DH can do this because you have only two kids - a 1:1 ratio Chaperones have more than 2. So, yes, don't send your DD to field trips. At this age, it's not a chaperone issue; it's your DD's issue.

[Anonymous]

Why not let dd have a phone that day and get the teacher's phone number saved into the phone? If dd becomes separated, then she can call the teacher and get back with the trip?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone used these new QR coded colored wristbands for students on field trips? Gives parents a peace of mind in case students get separated from teaches or chaperones?
https://www.secqr.me/secqrme-app/home/welcome.do

This video is great:
https://www.secqr.me/secqrme-app/home/video_1.do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Has anyone used these new QR coded colored wristbands for students on field trips? Gives parents a peace of mind in case students get separated from teaches or chaperones?
https://www.secqr.me/secqrme-app/home/welcome.do

This video is great:
https://www.secqr.me/secqrme-app/home/video_1.do

Looks lame - its not GPS or even bluetooth its basically an label for kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm an administrator:

I'm sorry, teach your 4th grader to LISTEN AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. She doesn't get to "read everything" when on a field trip. You never get to do exactly 100% of what you want - because there are 25 kids so not everyone gets 100% what they want. There are kids who want to run ahead and NEVER read anything - and yet they are told to stay with the group, etc.

So teach your 4th grader to listen. Bottom line.

1st grader - should also listen. Stay with your group. Follow instructions.

Now, of course it's important that the adult/child ratio be manageable - I think any more than 5 kids with 1 adult is too much because nobody gets to do anything - the runners or the readers. Also, I believe that teachers should choose the groups for compatibility - the kids who all like certain things should be together, not let the kids choose their best friends. Also, having 1 high maintenance kid in a group of less high maintenance helps - so the OPs child should be with easier kids because, clearly, her snowflakes just won't listen.

I think you should be honest with your kids' teachers. "My kids are being taught to be independent learners and often don't listen to the instructions. My older one will insist on reading everything, and will therefore be left behind. My younger one doesn't listen to instructions and will run away. It's better if i am on the field trip - can I come? Believe me, put that way, they'll be THRILLED to have you join them. Just make sure you watch the OTHER kids in your group, not just your snowflake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you all feel about field trips?

I’ve take a hard stance on not letting my kids go on any field trips without me or DH. There are several reasons why: bus safety, parent chaperones, location (mostly being in DC), and my kids’ personalities (one’s a runner/climber and the other’s a reader and wanderer who have both either gotten “lost” before or was unaccounted for during school events). I also have witnessed parent chaperones that are more concerned with chatting with the other chaperones and not watching the kids and my DH swears that one mom last year smelled strongly of alcohol during not one, but two field trips.

Wait, I thought having a buzz was mandatory as a chaperone?

[Anonymous]

Sorry Op, but its your kids and kids like them that field trips a nightmare for parent volunteers. DH was a chaperone for a K trip to the zoo. All of the kids were reminded to stay with their chaperone when they got off the bus. A little while later while DH bent down to help two kids open their food, Larla wondered off. He was panicked until he found her around the corner looking at stuff because she wanted to. Seriously people, teach your kids to be safe while in crowded places. That should be your focus, not just the behavior of the chaperone. If there are no developmental or neurological issues, then that's just poor parenting if at 1st and 4th grade, they are still getting separated from their groups because they have wondered off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an administrator:

I'm sorry, teach your 4th grader to LISTEN AND FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. She doesn't get to "read everything" when on a field trip. You never get to do exactly 100% of what you want - because there are 25 kids so not everyone gets 100% what they want. There are kids who want to run ahead and NEVER read anything - and yet they are told to stay with the group, etc.

So teach your 4th grader to listen. Bottom line.

1st grader - should also listen. Stay with your group. Follow instructions.

Now, of course it's important that the adult/child ratio be manageable - I think any more than 5 kids with 1 adult is too much because nobody gets to do anything - the runners or the readers. Also, I believe that teachers should choose the groups for compatibility - the kids who all like certain things should be together, not let the kids choose their best friends. Also, having 1 high maintenance kid in a group of less high maintenance helps - so the OPs child should be with easier kids because, clearly, her snowflakes just won't listen.

I think you should be honest with your kids' teachers. "My kids are being taught to be independent learners and often don't listen to the instructions. My older one will insist on reading everything, and will therefore be left behind. My younger one doesn't listen to instructions and will run away. It's better if i am on the field trip - can I come? Believe me, put that way, they'll be THRILLED to have you join them. Just make sure you watch the OTHER kids in your group, not just your snowflake!

Well said. Op, in many instances you would need to be willing to drive and meet up at the trip location.

[Anonymous]

2015 post

Kids would be in 3 and 6 by now. Hopefully, OP has taught them to self-manage by now.

[Anonymous]

It's all about communicating with the teacher and having an on the ball teacher. I find most are amenable to doing something like assigning a buddy to a kid who gets lost reading everything or making sure she/he the teacher is responsible for any kid who might be an issue. 95% of them do this well when there is open communication. We had 1 outlier who gave all challenging kids to the parents. She did not take any kids with her and instead just chit chatted and ignored any misbehavior. In the end if a child gets lost the liability falls with her and the school, not the parent who was given a challenge.