My husband said he basically regrets the kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you did more around the house and gave him some "me" time without expectations that he'll reciprocate, maybe he'd been in the mood to have kids more often.

Huh? I am actually really good about giving him "me time" he golfs every weekend for example, sometimes twice. I encourage him to go out with friends, but as we all know at nearly 50 sometimes the guys nights don't happen very easily.

He needs me time everyday. Golf on weekends is not nearly enough. Step it up, woman.

OP needs ME TIME, too...OP, is he a good dad??

OP sounds like she needs me time less than her DH, so she should accommodate. Or, get a new husband who doesn't need as much time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe if you did more around the house and gave him some "me" time without expectations that he'll reciprocate, maybe he'd been in the mood to have kids more often.

Huh? I am actually really good about giving him "me time" he golfs every weekend for example, sometimes twice. I encourage him to go out with friends, but as we all know at nearly 50 sometimes the guys nights don't happen very easily.

He needs me time everyday. Golf on weekends is not nearly enough. Step it up, woman.

Troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife says the same. Kids are 4 and 7. She loves them but if had to do it over, she wouldn't. I imagine when kids are grown she will feel differently. I feel like compassionately seperating from her so she can live her life free from the burden of children. I would rather raise them solo.

When I bartended, a surprising amount of women confessed to me they regretted having children. I never once heard that from a man. Anecdotal, but interesting.

You know how I know having kids is a scam? Because other parents so badly want you to be parents. I'm convinced they want you to suffer like they have or are. Being a mom has to suck and you bear the burden of almost all of the work. Of course men like having kids! Ladies don't do it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why should you have to do anything with this information? File away under "Misc., other".

Love this answer!!! Hahahaha!!

[Anonymous]

Well, I just had two facebook friends say basically the same thing. Kids are hard. You might want to try to talk to him about it again OP, or see where his problems are coming from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I just had two facebook friends say basically the same thing. Kids are hard. You might want to try to talk to him about it again OP, or see where his problems are coming from.

They said this on Facebook? Yowzers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can't can't change his situation, but he can change his attitude.

Of course he can change it. He can divorce and never see the kids again.

[Anonymous]

It could mean that he is just venting and that everything is really all right.
Or it could mean that this is the top of the iceberg and that your husband has some serious issues with his marriage and life right now.
Only you can guess.

Do your children have special needs?
Are you in a precarious financial position?
Other hardships?
My oldest has special needs that sometimes make me want to run screaming down the street.
I don't regret having him, though. He is the cutest, most peaceable child ever.

[Anonymous]

I know how he feels, it's something I just needed to say out loud to DH. I realize it's awkward but I needed to get it out. Short of extremes I don't think there is a wrong response

[Anonymous]

InsteAf of "me time" how about "pre kids us time". I get like this from time to time (it doesn't help that a lot of our friends are childless right now) and DH will plan a night out either Just the two of us or out with friends. It makes a huge difference. I get "me time" but I would rather "us time"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It could mean that he is just venting and that everything is really all right.
Or it could mean that this is the top of the iceberg and that your husband has some serious issues with his marriage and life right now.
Only you can guess.

Do your children have special needs?
Are you in a precarious financial position?
Other hardships?
My oldest has special needs that sometimes make me want to run screaming down the street.
I don't regret having him, though. He is the cutest, most peaceable child ever.

Yeah, it could range from being a random comment on one particularly frustrating day (Gah! Kids are a pain in the butt! Tell me why we had them again!!!) to being a dead serious "I'm so miserable, I HATE my life, I wish I had never had kids".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, if I had known how hard it was, I might not have done it either, but I'm so glad I didn't know, because the kids are the best thing I've done.

Does that help? It doesn't mean he regrets them.

My uncle basically said this. I didn't understand at the time but I do now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, if I had known how hard it was, I might not have done it either, but I'm so glad I didn't know, because the kids are the best thing I've done.

Does that help? It doesn't mean he regrets them.

My uncle basically said this. I didn't understand at the time but I do now.

Ha. I love being a mom but I can totally relate to that statement.

[Anonymous]

It could be that he just regrets what kids have (in his estimation) done to your relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife says the same. Kids are 4 and 7. She loves them but if had to do it over, she wouldn't. I imagine when kids are grown she will feel differently. I feel like compassionately seperating from her so she can live her life free from the burden of children. I would rather raise them solo.

When I bartended, a surprising amount of women confessed to me they regretted having children. I never once heard that from a man. Anecdotal, but interesting.

I am a woman and I definitely feel this way. I love my son, but if I had a time machine and could undo becoming a mother and all the stress, job difficulty, sleeplessness, loss of freedom, and loss of quality of life that comes with it, I would. Being a mother is a thankless job in this society in which jobs make life impossible for mothers and men are basically useless.