Need some advice for day to day troubles - SN kid

[Anonymous]

OP I only skimmed your thread so ignore if this advice isn't what you need, but Dan Shapiro's "Raising Your Challenging Child" 10 week class is based in part on the Ross Greene book, The Explosive Child - and might be helpful for you from the parenting end. I found the class useful.

http://www.raisingyourchallengingchild.com

[Anonymous]

Just saw your post about his not liking running or biking. Maybe something like wii just dance? That's a pretty good workout. Or if he likes math/charts maybe some type of calisthenics where he can track his progress on a graph? (Eg, 10 sit-ups in 5 minutes today, 15 sit-ups in 6 minutes next day, etc.). With a reward when he gets to the end? Or an Exercycle where he can watch tv while he pedals? I also hate exercise, so I'm sympathetic...

[Anonymous]

As far as exercise goes, it works….like a charm. We consulted with Dr. Lucy Miller a few yrs back who advised him to get vigorous movement before and after school. We provided that and it did help to calm his body, help improved his focus and attention too. However, he's older now and it's hard to make him do anything he doesn't want to do. He's not sporty and doesn't much like to ride bikes or run. If I could get him in some kind of movement he enjoys, I think it would help him.

18:50 here. My DS (12 yo) isn't big into exercise either. It's not about him doing something he enjoys but what's good for him. I can't make DS do Just Dance Wii in these situations because he does it so half assed that he may as well not do it at all. But, walking the dog is completely different. We have a couple of set routes that he has to take (it's his job to do the regular walks). It doesn't matter if he ambles or not. He can't annoy anyone, he's getting some exercise, gets some time to think and we get a break. He ALWAYS comes back in a better frame of mind. The only reason walking the dog isn't an option is if it's too late. In that case I make him get on the rebounder. If his jumping is half assed, I tell him his jumps don't count until he jumps higher. And, I restart the count. If you don't have a dog, have him go out for a neighborhood walk. Walk a few routes with him and then tell him which one he needs to take when he needs to get back 'in control'. If he comes back from one of them and he's still 'out of control', send him back out.

You say it's hard to make your DS do something he doesn't want to do. When I have those situations or if DS's really defiant, I send him out to the porch. He can either sit there or he can play outside but he's not coming in until X minutes have passed and he's 'in control'. Being in the house is a privilege, not a right. I've even sent him out to the porch to sleep. It was passed bedtime, he would.not.shut.up. I gave him a warning and then ordered him out to the porch ('get up or I'm getting the spray bottle') and tossed his camping stuff out there. Like I said, when he's unable to respect boundaries, I have to impose them. It's not fair to his siblings who want to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Meds and a behavioral and cognitive based plan

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'll get that book, PP. Thanks.

I just mentioned a snippet out of our day. All meals are like this. Jumping up and down, going under the table. Running around. Everybody is holding their breath.

His sensory seeking behavior really gets in the way of making friendships, relating with his sister, pretty much affects everything.

We have tried several meds, and they all suck the joy, laughter, and life out of him.

There has to be another way.

Just keep trying different meds until you find one that works. Sometimes the dosage is too strong. The dr. should start with the lowest dosage and monitor to see if it needs to be adjusted or if it has no impact at all. It takes a while to calibrate dosages and it is difficult for growing children. Also seek out time release dosages so your can regulate how medicated he is at different times of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I'll get that book, PP. Thanks.

I just mentioned a snippet out of our day. All meals are like this. Jumping up and down, going under the table. Running around. Everybody is holding their breath.

His sensory seeking behavior really gets in the way of making friendships, relating with his sister, pretty much affects everything.

We have tried several meds, and they all suck the joy, laughter, and life out of him.

There has to be another way.

Just keep trying different meds until you find one that works. Sometimes the dosage is too strong. The dr. should start with the lowest dosage and monitor to see if it needs to be adjusted or if it has no impact at all. It takes a while to calibrate dosages and it is difficult for growing children. Also seek out time release dosages so your can regulate how medicated he is at different times of the day.

Exactly, lowest dosage and increase from there. OP mentioning that her kid turns into a zombie on meds says it all. Find a better psychiatrist.