Setting boundaries for carpooling

[Anonymous]

My sympathy and belief in your situation was gone as soon as you made the absolutely ridiculous statement that having your kids make heir own breakfast and lunch would increase their mild anxiety.

As an adult with anxiety, I have never heard anything so utterly overly dramatic. Which pretty much makes me believe your invisible illness is hypochondria.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathy and belief in your situation was gone as soon as you made the absolutely ridiculous statement that having your kids make heir own breakfast and lunch would increase their mild anxiety.

As an adult with anxiety, I have never heard anything so utterly overly dramatic. Which pretty much makes me believe your invisible illness is hypochondria.

This is a really unnecessary comment. Way to judge someone whose details you don't know anything about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To answer a few questions.

Betty was enrolled last year, when the activity was at a different time. The coaches switched it. Betty would like to continue. DD likes Betty, who is a very nice girl.

Having her come to our house is a good idea. Don't know what to do if she isn't there on time, but if she is in the process of walking, she could for sure hop in my minivan and strap herself in. I'd look like the neighborhood creeper , but I'll live with that. It's a bit of a pain if DH is running around getting ready (he doesn't run around naked, but might in his boxers), but it's not every day or anything. I guess I could just tell her she can sit in our living room with a book until we are leaving. I won't want another child physically wandering the house at 7:45am...

It's tricky with an invisible illness. Thanks to all of you who sympathized and said I had enough on my plate. To the outside world, it doesn't look like that. It looks more like a SAHM with kids in school, who is a lousy housekeeper. Most of my volunteer work isn't at the school, so I don't even look like a PTA superstar or anything. When I do tell someone I'm sick, and I HATE to, they are always shocked. I "pass" pretty well as a healthy person.

Similar situation to you. I also feel like people think I am just lazy! I completely get your concerns, op, and speaking as someone who has overextended herself to do it, I always regret it bc it adds so.much.stress to the situation and I always feel like I then need to "recover" and lose even more of my day (it is very frustrating having an "invisible" chronic illness). I think mornings are a bit crazy in many households anyway so I would really not feel an obligation to do this if I were you, esp given your situation. And fwiw, I am someone who usually is the first to step up to help, so it is not that I think people should be an island and only rely on themselves. But you have to put your health and your family's emotional needs first.

[Anonymous]

I would do it with the caveat that you will NOT wait for her in the morning. She needs to be at the door when you roll up! I subscribe to the village mentality - you never know when her mom could reciprocate.

[Anonymous]

OP, why can't you say "NO" to people? Really, this is more of your problem.