Did I overreact to rude niece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes your husband was right. She found the item and couldn't believe it that you hadn't seen it prior. Clearly she has dealt with your "issues " before so she knows your a joke. Please go to the dr.

^^ obviously a teen poster.

[Anonymous]

Definitely keep her at bay, as you said. Don't offer any explanation, you don't owe anyone an explanation!! It's your life, do what makes you feel comfortable! She sounds obnoxious, you did not overreact. Leave it be and just don't have her around.

[Anonymous]

If someone is laughing at you, I see nothing wrong with saying stop. Of course, how you actually say that matters a lot. "Please stop laughing at me, Jane, that's rude. You know I have vision issues." Calmly.

Courtesy goes both ways.

[Anonymous]

It seems like you have issues with everyone- niece, sister, husband. Get a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What exactly did you say? Just "stop!" Or something else

I just said " child's name, stop it" and repeated twice. Last time was loud, but not as loud as she was.

If that's true, then they also overreacted by driving away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When nobody is on your side it is time to look inward.

Your H and your sister are not on your side.

Yes. Your niece is rude, but it might be a a reaction to how annoying you are.

Yeah, that was my thought too. Sorry OP, but it sounds like you might have a bit of a victim complex. If she was rude to you on vacation, you should have stopped her the very first time. Why did you tolerate that?

Our marriage stinks since the death of our child. But help me to understand what that has to do with this child who is disrespectful.

Anyway I have heard a lot. Thanks for to the other posters that were constructive. The pp who was a teacher, and said the least reminded me about the teen behavior. I will avoid this kid until she is in her kid 20s. For now, I will prepare myself for my own Tweens who will be teens in a few years.

So sorry for your loss, OP.

[Anonymous]

Menopause should not be giving you vision problems unless you are talking about the typical gradual changes in eyesight that most people experience as they age. But if these vision changes and memory problems are coming on fairly rapidly you need to go to the doctor ASAP.

Your niece sounds annoying and maybe a bit insensitive but you sound like you are making a big deal out of relatively minor issues. She may have been laughing like that because of your reactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My niece is a teen, and I have been having trouble dealing with the smart mouth, talking back, arguing. The typical teen stuff. Only concern about her, and this is an aside, I don't think that she even knows how to be polite if she tried. There are rude teens who can pull it together when they need to, but I don't think she is one .
I have been having serious memory and vision problems since starting menopause.
I recently took my niece and my kid on a vacation and dealt with the incessant rudeness the whole time. She yelled at me in front of other people and so on. She wore me out. I will never have her along again since she is an embarrassment and a bad influence I my kids.
After we got home, I thought I left something at the hotel that had great sentimental value to me. I looked all over the house and did not see it. She came over to my house with her mother to visit my mother. I was visibly upset since I had that item for 35 years, and replacements are expensive. She came into the kitchen and spotted the item right away. She repeatedly screamed out loud, "there it is!" Then started laughing at a crazy volume. Like really loud, then ran out of the house laughing even louder to her mother laughing really loud at me. As she was running out of the house I told her to stop, she just ignored me and continued on laughing so loud she felt a need to cover her mouth. I then raised my voice and told her to stop. Her mother got mad at me for telling her to stop, so they both hopped in the car and left right away.
When I told my husband what happened, he in his typical nasty hateful way, said that I did not thank her for finding the item for me. But there was no time to thank her, she started with the craziness immediately.
She might not like me, but some respect would be nice. Since she is not my child, it is easy to keep her at bay in the future. I just don't get the behavior. Another relative of mine said that she never remembers her manners. But my husband is acting like it was my fault. I don't trust his opinion since he is never on my side (this is not the topic of the thread). I'm curious to hear other more objective opinions.
Please pardon typos. Vision is not great.

Observation: You have a lot of conflict with the people around you. No one seems to be capable of doing anything right, according to you. But you are the common denominator in this.

However "rude" you think the teen was, you didn't exactly model exemplary behavior yourself.

And, from the way your husband seems to deal with you, I'm guessing this is not a new thing for you.

True. So either OP is the problem or OP is used to surrounding herself with aholes. She likely can't see it. Op, if you suspect this is the case, take a critical eye to your friends, coworker friends, etc. Its possible you're sending out signals to nasty people that it is acceptable to treat you poorly.

[Anonymous]

Give me a break people! This kid is a disrespectful brat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes your husband was right. She found the item and couldn't believe it that you hadn't seen it prior. Clearly she has dealt with your "issues " before so she knows your a joke. Please go to the dr.

^^ obviously a teen poster.

+1
And a complete moron to boot.

[Anonymous]

It just sounds like you should steer clear of your niece and concentrate on your own children, especially if you are having issues.

Maybe you just overlooked whatver it was, or maybe the niece was making fun of you by moving it around. Who knows. Telling someone to "stop it" even loudly should not have caused them to leave right away. It sounds like they overreacted too. I'm going through menopause right now too--it's tough. Would get the eye issue checked out though...

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, this is an old thread but I have to comment. It could be that you are stuck in a family of embiciles and that you are right and all of them are wrong.

These other posters are ridiculous. My family are essentially a bunch of trailer trash literally. My nieces talk terribly to me because they here their parents grandparents trashing me constantly. When kids disrespect you like that in front of other adults it is because they think it is okay. They think it’s okay because everyone else is doing it.

I am the only one in my family to go to college, be self employed, and basically have common sense and life skills. Stupid or ignorant people do not like a “know it all” and they do not like someone pointing out their short falls. For me, simply pointing out that you shouldn’t wash dishes or wipe down counter tops with dirty rags and plain water is an example of me “knowing it all”. Apparently wanting to avoid getting sick or food poison from nasty dishes and countertops is unacceptable in my family.

If you aren’t in the wrong, and your family is a bunch of morons with terrible children I think you have chosen the wrong family unit to be a part of and maybe you should do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you were upset about losing something terribly important to you. You looked all over your house then your niece comes over and finds it for you. It was right under your nose in the kitchen. When that happens to me (like losing my sunglasses when they are tucked into the front of my shirt and looking all over for them) and one of my kids point out that the obvious that I overlooked they have a good laugh about it. Then I do too for being so clueless. I am relieved the object has been found and move on. You could have had a good laugh about this and thanked your niece. Her being rude on vacation is a separate issue, which is not acceptable.

I agree.

And I also agree with the "look inside" poster.

Menopause can make some women crazy, emotional and hyper sensitive.

Maybe your husband and sister's responses reflects a weariness with that kind of behavior from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Give me a break people! This kid is a disrespectful brat.

This.

[Anonymous]

You see your sister as a bad person
You see your niece as a bad person
You see your husband as a bad person.

The problem may be you versus everyone around you being awful