Anyone get divorced bc of no chldren?

[Anonymous]

If having a family is very important to you (as it is to many people), then by staying legally wed to this man you will be making a huge sacrifice. He seems happy w/the status quo here while you want more + that is your right.

If you cannot have children on your own, adopting one is a great idea. If your hubby is not on board w/this idea and is unlikely to change his mind any time soon, I see nothing wrong w/moving on in life in the hopes that you will find a way to be the mother you always desired to be.

I know this is tough OP, and I wish you all the best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:also OP, has it occurred to you that he knew that he was infertile before he married you?

Yes it breaks my heart to think he could have lied to me! We were both married to others before. No kids in either of our previous marriages. Having kids was a priority for both of us I was led to believe. I really don't want to get another divorce...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:also OP, has it occurred to you that he knew that he was infertile before he married you?

Yes it breaks my heart to think he could have lied to me! We were both married to others before. No kids in either of our previous marriages. Having kids was a priority for both of us I was led to believe. I really don't want to get another divorce...

You have to deal with your anger. At first I had sympathy for you but now you suspect he lied to you. You are immature and selfish and I really feel for your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have enough time to divorce then find another good match then have a kid. TRUST me, get a sperm donor then tell him you are pregnant. If he asks how, then tell the truth, if he leaves, you are in the same position you would be if you left him, then divorced. Only difference is you have a child, which is unlikely if you go the route of divorce then remarry...

+1
I am sure the moral police will object but you have to try to get pregnant with sperm donor behind his back. The reason is that you dont know if you can have kids. Then if you do get pregnant tell him and see what happens. If you don't get pregnant then you will know it's not worth divorcing. in any case do not tell him unless you have a clean 20 week scan because you could be left without kids AND husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:also OP, has it occurred to you that he knew that he was infertile before he married you?

Yes it breaks my heart to think he could have lied to me! We were both married to others before. No kids in either of our previous marriages. Having kids was a priority for both of us I was led to believe. I really don't want to get another divorce...

You have to deal with your anger. At first I had sympathy for you but now you suspect he lied to you. You are immature and selfish and I really feel for your DH.

she is not selfish. This man is a liar, I'm sure he knew. The question is: if the shoe was on the other foot, would he leave.
OP---->sperm donor.

[Anonymous]

OP, my sister was in your position. She is now much older and regrets not going the route of sperm donor. The marriage failed and she is left lonely and full of remorse. Her former husband is now happily remarried.
My suspicion is that if you do donor sperm, he will react strongly at first then recover. He could abuse the kid, that is when you separate and divorce. Something tells me the marriage won't work if you don't have the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you don't have enough time to divorce then find another good match then have a kid. TRUST me, get a sperm donor then tell him you are pregnant. If he asks how, then tell the truth, if he leaves, you are in the same position you would be if you left him, then divorced. Only difference is you have a child, which is unlikely if you go the route of divorce then remarry...

+1
I am sure the moral police will object but you have to try to get pregnant with sperm donor behind his back. The reason is that you dont know if you can have kids. Then if you do get pregnant tell him and see what happens. If you don't get pregnant then you will know it's not worth divorcing. in any case do not tell him unless you have a clean 20 week scan because you could be left without kids AND husband.

WTF??????????????????????? This is crazy talk.

[Anonymous]

How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

I think this. I know of three couples where they divorced over no kids, each time wife had fertility issues. All three times, husband went on to have multiple kids with new wife and second marriage stuck. At your age, I would just get sperm donor and go for it. Tell dh you are doing thishow important it is to you, and let him decide whether he wants to leave marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

I think this. I know of three couples where they divorced over no kids, each time wife had fertility issues. All three times, husband went on to have multiple kids with new wife and second marriage stuck. At your age, I would just get sperm donor and go for it. Tell dh you are doing thishow important it is to you, and let him decide whether he wants to leave marriage.

No don't tell him because you might not get pregnant and it could ruin your marriage. Do it secretly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

I think this. I know of three couples where they divorced over no kids, each time wife had fertility issues. All three times, husband went on to have multiple kids with new wife and second marriage stuck. At your age, I would just get sperm donor and go for it. Tell dh you are doing thishow important it is to you, and let him decide whether he wants to leave marriage.

No don't tell him because you might not get pregnant and it could ruin your marriage. Do it secretly.

Whatever you do, don't do this. Tell him you are going to do it because you want a child. If you do not get pregnant, move on to the other interventions or adoption, both of which you indicated you are open to. But do not become a dishonest person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

I think this. I know of three couples where they divorced over no kids, each time wife had fertility issues. All three times, husband went on to have multiple kids with new wife and second marriage stuck. At your age, I would just get sperm donor and go for it. Tell dh you are doing thishow important it is to you, and let him decide whether he wants to leave marriage.

No don't tell him because you might not get pregnant and it could ruin your marriage. Do it secretly.

Whatever you do, don't do this. Tell him you are going to do it because you want a child. If you do not get pregnant, move on to the other interventions or adoption, both of which you indicated you are open to. But do not become a dishonest person.

Yeah by al means be an honest divorced chiless person. We will congratulate you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're infertile, have tried multiple rounds of IVF, and husband does not want donor sperm or adoption. I'm 37 and feel like I'm at an impasse. We married with the expectation and understanding that we'd have kids together. But given the infertility and refusal to seek other ways to have kids, would it be crazy to get divorced? I'm just not sure I can see my future with my husband w/o kids, but he's perfectly happy with just the two of us.

Life is the longest thing you will ever do, do you want such a big "what if" weighing on you? It is not crazy to get divorced if the two of you want different paths in life. Don't compromise on something as major as having children, don't set yourself up for those regrets. Your DH might agree to donor or adoption if you bring up separation, but keep in mind, he'd be compromising what he wanted out of life and may live with regrets.

No one will like this, but since this is anonymous and all...

My BIL divorced his wife over infertility. A lot of people gave him hell for it but hes married with three children and over the moon happy. Because that is the life he envisioned for himself.

How is his ex doing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

I think this. I know of three couples where they divorced over no kids, each time wife had fertility issues. All three times, husband went on to have multiple kids with new wife and second marriage stuck. At your age, I would just get sperm donor and go for it. Tell dh you are doing thishow important it is to you, and let him decide whether he wants to leave marriage.

How are the exes doing? Or is it only the male that gets to dump one wife to get children and happiness with another?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How heart breaking. If I were you I'd do whatever I could for a shot at having my own kids.

I think this. I know of three couples where they divorced over no kids, each time wife had fertility issues. All three times, husband went on to have multiple kids with new wife and second marriage stuck. At your age, I would just get sperm donor and go for it. Tell dh you are doing thishow important it is to you, and let him decide whether he wants to leave marriage.

How are the exes doing? Or is it only the male that gets to dump one wife to get children and happiness with another?

That's the rub. It is easier to men to find younger, fertile women.