10 year old cannot go upstairs alone..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
DS, who has OCD tendencies (ADHD and Asperger's as well) is reluctant to go upstairs by himself, but I will force him to, ie tell him to go brush his teeth, or fetch me a book, etc.

He's a compulsory hand-washer, *has* to gargle three times after brushing his teeth, *has* to close to toilet lid when walking into a bathroom with open toilet lid. Slowly, by gently but relentless exposure to different things he doesn't like to do, I am reducing his OCD.

Is this the suggested medical approach to reducing OCD? My dd has similar compulsions, just a few, and seem minor so i dont worry about them. But there is OCD in my husbands family

Yes, it is the basis of exposure and response prevention therapy. If someone has a fear, for example of oil, and has to compulsively wash his hands if he comes in contact with it, you expose him to the oil and prevent the hand washing. Often there is a reward for not engaging in the compulsion.

You do have to be on top of them because they can grow and spiral out of control.

[Anonymous]

He has anxiety but I don't think its something you need to make a huge deal out of. Just let him know those feelings are caused by anxiety. You can try putting lights in dark corners, keeping the windows open during the day and shutting doors to rooms not in use (guest room/master bedroom). Perhaps he isn't afraid of being upstairs but of how quiet and dark the corners/rooms are...I would say for sure movies and video games really aggravate it all but I have tried taking all that away from my son and I found he became even more afraid when he was than exposed to something scary (like around Halloween). Its a balancing act. If he is having a lot of anxiety-like tummy aches and feeling sick causing him to miss school or social events and the like get it checked out right away CBT works wonders for generalized and social anxiety disorders and even panic disorder. I also highly recommend not medicating with an SSRI other than Prozac a lot of new research suggest that it causes a lot of serious depression problems... there are anit-abortive medications for anxiety that you as a parent can keep for your child if they become hysterical or hyperventilate. The key to the anti-abortive treatments is that you use the bare minimum and only on occasion...sometimes its a relief.

[Anonymous]

It’s normal. Both of my children have always been scared to go down to our finished basement alone. Oldest is 10. He’s getting a little better and will go to quickly pick up a paper that printed or get something but that’s it.

He’s also more scared to stay home alone now. He’s aware of the world and scared of break ins. He will for short periods of time if absolutely necessary but will always prefer to come with us. He will grow out of this too. It’s a normal part of development.

[Anonymous]

Mine is ten and afraid to go upstairs too. I’m not worried. My older child was same way. They all outgrow it in time.

[Anonymous]

I’m 40yo and still afraid to go to basement alone at night. I mean if I had no choice I would but Id rather not. Going upstairs I need all lights on if home alone. Guess I watched too many scary movies and my personality didn’t outgrow from childhood.

[Anonymous]

You need to have your ds see a Psychiatrist, and a therapist. How is it that this has not been addressed till now? Nobody is saying anything is wrong or he has a disorder, but this is affecting his whole life and your family as well. What happens when you make him do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He has anxiety but I don't think its something you need to make a huge deal out of. Just let him know those feelings are caused by anxiety. You can try putting lights in dark corners, keeping the windows open during the day and shutting doors to rooms not in use (guest room/master bedroom). Perhaps he isn't afraid of being upstairs but of how quiet and dark the corners/rooms are...I would say for sure movies and video games really aggravate it all but I have tried taking all that away from my son and I found he became even more afraid when he was than exposed to something scary (like around Halloween). Its a balancing act. If he is having a lot of anxiety-like tummy aches and feeling sick causing him to miss school or social events and the like get it checked out right away CBT works wonders for generalized and social anxiety disorders and even panic disorder. I also highly recommend not medicating with an SSRI other than Prozac a lot of new research suggest that it causes a lot of serious depression problems... there are anit-abortive medications for anxiety that you as a parent can keep for your child if they become hysterical or hyperventilate. The key to the anti-abortive treatments is that you use the bare minimum and only on occasion...sometimes its a relief.

This thread is from 2015, so hopefully the kid has grown out of it by now.

[Anonymous]

DD, now a teen, has severe anxiety and I really wish I had paid more attention to such symptoms when she was younger. I just thought she was a cautious kid and tried not to accommodate her. Now I have a teen who is afraid to go outside, go to school, be around animals, etc., to the point that it limits her function. Fortunately, she is now getting treatment, but she was suffering from much more distress than I realized because I tried to tell myself she would grow out of it. OP, bring this up with your pediatrician or schedule an appointment with a therapist so that you can rule out an anxiety disorder.

[Anonymous]

This is really not normal.

[Anonymous]

For perspective, my 3 year old has no issues going upstairs alone. This is really severe anxiety for an 8 year old. Talk to your pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would refuse to "help" a ten year old fetch books or toys from upstairs be he's afraid. He can get over it or do without.

Same

[Anonymous]

My son is afraid, too. He has generalized anxiety disorder.

[Anonymous]

We have this issue. Consider using a cbt approach, this is how I would try...

Step 1: have ds go to foot of stairs , maybe 10 times. After each time, have him rate how uncomfortable it made him feel. This should go down as you repeat.

Step 2: have ds go up 2 steps, also 10 times (or whatever it takes to get home comfortable).

Etc. We did variations like calling out ( A la Marco polo), walking partway and having kid take half flight etc.

Took a bit of patience but at some point my child decided it was ok.