Does your spouse know your "# of partners " did lead them to believe it was higher or lower?

[Anonymous]

No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

I feel sorry for your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

I feel sorry for your husband.

Really? I feel sorry for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

I feel sorry for your husband.

Really? I feel sorry for her.

Well maybe for both. You married late and this is the person you want to go through your life with. They need to share how to make it better in a way that is encouraging and respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do people have such low numbers? Where did you grow up? Alaska? Wyoming? The dakotas?

My number what relatively low and I grew up in LA. I didn't have sex in high school. In college, I only had one serious boyfriend. I met my husband in grad school and we got married shortly after. I didn't want to have sex with some one I didn't love, and I tended to break up with a guy once I knew we weren't right for each other, so no long drawn out 2+ year relationships prior to my husband.

[Anonymous]

We know our numbers and they are true. Neither of us is threatened by sexual experience in the past. I guess we both have relatively small numbers, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm really surprised by how many of you have never just gotten it out there. My number is 5, including DH. DH's is 3, including me. I think he expected mine to be closer to two, but we got it out there, and there is no mystery around what our numbers are or why they are what they are.

Because it's really not important to either of us. We married in our 30s, we have pasts, so what? This seems to be an issue that very young people find compelling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

I feel sorry for your husband.

Really? I feel sorry for her.

Totally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

I feel sorry for your husband.

Really? I feel sorry for her.

Totally.

So she's apparently glad she got experience with sex but apparently can't use that experience or presumed sexual self-confidence to guide her DH in bed? I don't feel sorry for her.

[Anonymous]

Dh here- I went through a dark promiscuous period and having been tested for stds when I met my wife I've never felt I needed to give the number that I feel would be hard for her to process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No. We married late in life and everyone is entitled to a past. I don't care about my husband's number - no judgment. But he's very old-fashioned and probably believes in a double standard. I did some sleeping around at times while I was single and regret none of it - except that I came to my marriage knowing what good sex is so I'm painfully aware that it ain't what I'm getting now. Ignorance would be bliss.

I feel sorry for your husband.

Really? I feel sorry for her.

Totally.

So she's apparently glad she got experience with sex but apparently can't use that experience or presumed sexual self-confidence to guide her DH in bed? I don't feel sorry for her.

He doesn't sound like he's looking to be guided. It sounds like her only mistake was marrying a man who was a bad match for her sexually.

[Anonymous]

I was honest but had a low number. I suspect my XH inflated his number.

[Anonymous]

Who actually discusses numbers of sexual partners anyway? I remember my first BF in my late teens and early 20s (and first sexual partner) was obsessed with numbers. Anyone since, not so much.

[Anonymous]

The only numbers of interest today involve length and girth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do people have such low numbers? Where did you grow up? Alaska? Wyoming? The dakotas?

Actually, it would be quite the opposite.

If you grew up in redneck red states you would empirically, statistically, and actually have had way more sex partners.