possibly adopting 3-year-old nephew

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would start with the consulate/embassy for your DH's country of birth rather than with an international adoption attorney. It will save you time and money, as there are likely very different rules for kinship adoption and they can likely give you useful referrals. Better to do that first than pay an international adoption lawyer to have to do all the research into your DH's particular country.

This is an interesting suggestion (NP here).
I would like to suggest that YOUR kids also need some attention here. OP, I'm not sure what ages but please make sure you are reaching out for their feelings, concerns etc. If you can play it as "cousin X is coming for the summer... so fun!" that will cover your for a little while, but if your kids are old enough to notice that Cousin gets all the attention, or Cousin acts up and isn't dealt with, or we can't afford to do XYZ since Cousin came here... it will affect them. It doesn't have to be a NEGATIVE effect, but will require some care and feeding.
signed,
the older, less broken child who was ignored "b/c we knew you would be okay."

[Anonymous]

Post is over a year old. Someone bumped it looking for an update.

[Anonymous]

You will bond with him and the sister will likely use him as a lever to jerk you around, asking for $$$ and the like. I would set firm boundaries from the outset, either give him up or don't but no back and forth. He's already bound to have damage and becoming the subject of a tug of war won't help.
Also, be careful with the paperwork. I know of a couple who adopted a nephew. The surrendering parents used paperwork to steal their identities and take out credit cards, make workers comp claims. They only realized in when he had to go to the hospital and was turned down for worker's comp based on previous claims (he never made). It took years of legal work to untangle.