I just need to get over this, right?

[Anonymous]

I would have volunteered to stay at home so I did not have to go. My husband would be the one saying absolutely not everyone is attending the dinner.

[Anonymous]

Your in laws are terrible people. Hugs to you

[Anonymous]

Thanks, all- some of these posts have made me laugh and lifted my mood. To clarify, it won't be an adults only dinner- my older kid (11) will go, too. My little ones are pretty good in restaurants, but they are 3, so there's a limit to how much we can expect! I'm going to look into a babysitter, but at this point leaning towards just staying home with them. We head home early the next morning, so leaving them with a sitter might add complications I'm not up for dealing with. My FIL is a really good guy, I think he's just a little burnt out on the kids (he's been helping a ton with them lately).

[Anonymous]

I'd be more ticked that your DH didn't put the brakes on this plan before it ever reached your ears =(

[Anonymous]

Assholes. Would it kill an old man to change to a restaurant that is family friendly? Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Assholes. Would it kill an old man to change to a restaurant that is family friendly? Sheesh.

I agree. These are his grandkids. Selfish and rude.

[Anonymous]

I don't see a problem with this. It's his birthday. If he doesn't want you there, you don't go. I'm sure it hurts but really, he can invite/ not invite anyone he wants. I think you have to get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see a problem with this. It's his birthday. If he doesn't want you there, you don't go. I'm sure it hurts but really, he can invite/ not invite anyone he wants. I think you have to get over it.

Yes, he can do what he wants for his birthday but it doesn't make it any less insulting to OP.

[Anonymous]

This would never happen with my family, but we are family-friendly wherever we go and whatever we do. However, I could see this happening with my in-laws or my godmother. Their viewpoint is that the birthday person gets to eat wherever he/she wants and if it's not kid-friendly, kids cannot come. I would take the high road and bake the cake. I don't think it's anything personal, and I agree that it is selfish, but I don't think it is rude.

[Anonymous]

It's fine to want to go out to eat somewhere without the kids. It's not fine to automatically make the leap to assign you to stay home and miss out. That sends a lot of negative messages, and you are very right to be hurt and offended. Your FIL could be excused his thoughtlessness, but your husband should have corrected it, and needs some serious schooling. Your husband apparently sees you as less than his family, more like a glorified servant. Don't stand for that, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would have volunteered to stay at home so I did not have to go. My husband would be the one saying absolutely not everyone is attending the dinner.

Same here.

OP, be honest with yourself. Have your kids made scenes before in public that your FIL has witnessed or heard about? If so, there's nothing wrong with him wanting a nice dinner if your kids aren't able to behave.

[Anonymous]

Or maybe FIL doesn't like OP.

[Anonymous]

My inlaws are taking us all out for their anniversary to a nice restaurant. They want everyone to come. My 4 yo cannot deal so I've already decided she is going to suddenly have "a fever" and I'll need to stay home with her. 7 yo and DH will go. I was actually relieved when I thought of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have volunteered to stay at home so I did not have to go. My husband would be the one saying absolutely not everyone is attending the dinner.

Same here.

OP, be honest with yourself. Have your kids made scenes before in public that your FIL has witnessed or heard about? If so, there's nothing wrong with him wanting a nice dinner if your kids aren't able to behave.

Well, considering we all just came back from dinner out and the kids were well behaved, I really don't think this is the issue. It's that he wants to go somewhere that's not great for young kids. What's up with people assuming my kids are hellions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, all- some of these posts have made me laugh and lifted my mood. To clarify, it won't be an adults only dinner- my older kid (11) will go, too. My little ones are pretty good in restaurants, but they are 3, so there's a limit to how much we can expect! I'm going to look into a babysitter, but at this point leaning towards just staying home with them. We head home early the next morning, so leaving them with a sitter might add complications I'm not up for dealing with. My FIL is a really good guy, I think he's just a little burnt out on the kids (he's been helping a ton with them lately).

I can understand your disappointment but I think I would lean towards staying at the house with the kids and working on packing. On the bright side you'll have the washer/dryer all to yourself - so your opportunity to get clothes laundered before you pack them. That'll mean less for you to do once you get home. Order a pizza with the toppings that YOU like, have a glass of wine, put the kids to bed and enjoy a chick flick.