I just need to get over this, right?

[Anonymous]

where, not were

[Anonymous]

0946+ Wanting an adult dinner is fine, but it's rude to assume Mom would just stay home.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP

I am so sorry about your parents, too! If it had happened to me, I would be very hurt. Even if they changed their minds and got a sitter I would be upset ( might not be mature but it would how I feel ) and still not go. You are a better person than me to consider making a cake for him. If it were me I wouldn't go to the dinner but I would wish him a happy birthday and I would have fun with my younger kids.

My background: My kids and I have been excluded ( when my husband wasn't around ) and I forgave and moved on but, I've never really forgotten. I'm sorry but I think your FIL should have done something to include EVERYONE including the kids. Birthdays are really for kids and FIL seems really immature imho. Sending HUGS your way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to deal.

But that's very rude.

Agreed. Sorry OP. That sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe your husband didn't run interference on this.

Dad: I'd like to spend my birthday dinner with just the adults. How about if Susie just stays home with them while we go out?
Your husband: I get the part about not wanting the kids at a nice restaurant. But it's important that Susie there. She's my wife and our family. We should be able to get a sitter or figure something out.

Yeah. This request should never, ever have even been relayed to OP. This is as much, if not more, of a husband problem as an in-law problem.

[Anonymous]

Stand up for yourself! You and the kids are coming, DH backs the idea.

[Anonymous]

OP I can relate to how you feel. I remember about 6 years ago, my DH's nephew had a lead role in a Shakespeare play at this University. My DHs side of the family, mother, step-father, sister, other nephew, etc all planned on going into the University town for a few days to see the play. It was already planned at the onset that one night everyone would go to the play and I would stay home with my twins. At first I was upset, but then I let it roll. After all, the boys were young went to bed early and were fairly tired from the day of activities. I put them to bed, took a nice long, relaxing bath and watched a movie. The next night my DH and I went to see the play and out to dinner while MIL watched the boys. It's a tough pill to swallow but maybe there will be something you can do for yourself or with DH to make up for it.

[Anonymous]

Definitely agree that the OP's husband should have run interference and still can.

I do wonder if the OP dotes a little too much on her in laws now that her own parents are gone. In other words, maybe she thinks that her relationship with her FIL is closer than it really is. And maybe a two week vacation was too much.

[Anonymous]

I do not think you need to just get over this. This is not how a family operates, in my book. This is very wrong. He needs to be told, politely, by your DH, that you are not babysitting.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it is rude. Most children today aren't taught manners and, OP, yours must be hellions for your FIL to specifically request that they not attend his birthday dinner. You need to learn from this and start teaching your children good manners and how to behave in public places.

Also, why can't you hire a babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP

I am so sorry about your parents, too! If it had happened to me, I would be very hurt. Even if they changed their minds and got a sitter I would be upset ( might not be mature but it would how I feel ) and still not go. You are a better person than me to consider making a cake for him. If it were me I wouldn't go to the dinner but I would wish him a happy birthday and I would have fun with my younger kids.

My background: My kids and I have been excluded ( when my husband wasn't around ) and I forgave and moved on but, I've never really forgotten. I'm sorry but I think your FIL should have done something to include EVERYONE including the kids. Birthdays are really for kids and FIL seems really immature imho. Sending HUGS your way!

Birthdays are for the person celebrating his/her birthday no matter the age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think it is rude. Most children today aren't taught manners and, OP, yours must be hellions for your FIL to specifically request that they not attend his birthday dinner. You need to learn from this and start teaching your children good manners and how to behave in public places.

Also, why can't you hire a babysitter?

You are a real piece of work.

[Anonymous]

I think it is terribly rude and I would not just "get over it." I would be extremely pissed off at my husband for not speaking to him about this. It's kind of unbelievable that he did that. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I can relate to how you feel. I remember about 6 years ago, my DH's nephew had a lead role in a Shakespeare play at this University. My DHs side of the family, mother, step-father, sister, other nephew, etc all planned on going into the University town for a few days to see the play. It was already planned at the onset that one night everyone would go to the play and I would stay home with my twins. At first I was upset, but then I let it roll. After all, the boys were young went to bed early and were fairly tired from the day of activities. I put them to bed, took a nice long, relaxing bath and watched a movie. The next night my DH and I went to see the play and out to dinner while MIL watched the boys. It's a tough pill to swallow but maybe there will be something you can do for yourself or with DH to make up for it.
[/quote

This is different. That's your nephew on your husbands side of the family. This is her husband.

[Anonymous]

I understand where you are coming from and I also understand the desire to want to go out for a nice dinner and not wanting to be constrained by little kids. My dh just said he thinks your FIL is wrong and that he should be the one to wait until later for dinner so I guess folks can differ reasonably.