ADHD son has no friends

[Anonymous]

Ask the teachers for some possible matches. PP whose ASD/ADHD kid is best friends with another kid with the same diagnosis but it does not always work out.

The teachers will know which kids will complement each other. Only one of the kids in this particular friendship is "that kid".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you to everyone who replied with words of encouragement and suggestions. He has been on meds since November his behavior has improved its the social cues that he still doesn't pick up on. He's in therapy, once a month (Feel like it should be more but....) and I will ask her about the social groups. We've tried to do the play dates from school but get turned down because he's been branded "that kid" in class. He's a great kid. Smart, funny, caring and weird (in a good way) but he's so overbearing kids don't know how to handle it and want nothing to do with him.

OP, look for another "that kid" at his school and see if you can get a play date.

yes! ^^^

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you to everyone who replied with words of encouragement and suggestions. He has been on meds since November his behavior has improved its the social cues that he still doesn't pick up on. He's in therapy, once a month (Feel like it should be more but....) and I will ask her about the social groups. We've tried to do the play dates from school but get turned down because he's been branded "that kid" in class. He's a great kid. Smart, funny, caring and weird (in a good way) but he's so overbearing kids don't know how to handle it and want nothing to do with him.



OP, look for another "that kid" at his school and see if you can get a play date.

Or try talking to his teacher about which kids in the class are most kind and likely to be receptive. My son's teacher suggested trying some play dates with a boy in his class who is extremely mellow and generally nice to everyone in the class. I can't say they've become BFFs, but other child has always been reasonably friendly to DS at school, and they have had a few reasonably successful play dates. I guess I wished it would have turned into something more than a child who is inherently nice tolerating DS, but I still think it is better for DS to have someone to play with from time to time, and it is social practice as well.

[Anonymous]

Try to cultivate similar interests to the other boys in the class. At this age it's things like Minecraft, Pokemon, etc. You need to find the video game/app de jour and let him get good at it. My kid is very good at games so many kids want to have playdates with him and it gets him respect from his peers. DS has never been bullied or picked on even when he was having a lot of issues at school.

The school counselor plays a lot of board games with DS to teach him gamesmanship - specifically to be a good loser and not to gloat too much when winning. You can do this at home too.

The kid who can be a BFF may not be the "easiest" kid in the class so keep an open mind. My kid and his BFF can both be very difficult in their way but together they really complement each other and are "good" together. Our school lets them sit together during lunch as a reward and we have used playdates as rewards too.

[Anonymous]

my DS went through this and it was a long difficult experience. It got much much worse during high school.

People without close friends are much more susceptible to bad influences. Once they get some friends they will follow them with little thought.

So it can get worse, much worse.

a couple of suggestions

- join a church, one with a large congregation and an active support for children. There will be lots of activities and all children will be invited. Over time they will develop bonds.

- encourage a musical instrument. your child can have a hobby to focus on and in middle school/high school there are lots of activities for band members.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP there are a lot of churches that have programs for kids and they are often very inclusive. McLean bible church might be a good place to start looking.

[Anonymous]

My DS is 12 and was diagnosed with ADHD at age 9. He has been on medication since the diagnosis and it has changed his life. He still has a few "off" days at school and no "off" days at camp (day or sleep away) as long as he takes his meds. He is very sports centered and plays several (competitive swimming, basketball and lacrosse). He has made many friends thru sports teams. He has also been in Boy Scouts for 6 years and has achieved the second class rank thanks, in large part, to his father who is a scout master in his troop. He doesn't have close friends in the Boy Scouts although he knows them and sees them in different settings. However, the Boy Scouts is a key element in his life because it teaches character building and life skills. My DS is a popular kid at school and gets many invitations to "hang out dates" -- Wizards, Nats, DC United games with classmates. And, he is a handsome child -- yes, sometimes looks do count. OP, I think it is critical for you to get your son involved in activities. Unfortunately, boys bond through sports and video games. They are not social and chatty like girls. I don't recall the age of your son but get him involved in activities, sports in particular. Good luck.