Daughter, age 7,afraid of dance recital

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

some interesting replies. Just a bit more background here.

Daughter has had more than a few episodes of social anxiety. She was scared of even one on one playdates at one point, and has been scared to go to a birthday party or read aloud in class. She hates any spotlight on her.

She has also grown tremendously this past year (1st grade) and she enjoyed going to the dance class every week.

When I signed her up for this, I knew it was 50/50 that she would want to do the recital, so it's fine to me if she enjoyed 90% of the year and does not do the recital at age 7.

It is the type of recital where kids of all ages are corralled in the back waiting for their parents and are separated from them. It is not Julliard though, and DH said he saw one other 7 year old class on stage for 5 minutes max.

If I force her to go, she will not go on, or she will cry even backstage and just be a total mess.

this is not a commitment issue. This is a social anxiety issue.

The teachers have all been very understanding and it is not putting out anyone if she does not come--DH told them after the blow up at the rehearsal that she may not come.

I also think it's the kind of thing she can work on as she grows older--she's really not likely to do the same thing at age 12 or 14.

Thanks all--still thinking through how to handle these things on-going.

OP, I was the first person to respond to your original post, and now I see we are in similar situations. My DD also has social anxiety and that's exactly the perspective I was coming from when I suggested you take it easy on her and let her skip it. (((Hugs))) to you, I know it's not easy. Parents who don't deal with anxiety in their kids don't understand what it's like. This isn't a knock on them (I'm jealous of them) but it's the truth.