Debbie downer DD drives me up a wall...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you Mom. Your daughter sounds like a bitch. Stay away from her.

Did Pollyanna come back? Nah, I doubt it, but nice try. Op doesnt seem to be the type who can handle anyone saying anything negative to her, so she abandoned her own thread. It would be incredibly interesting to hear what she thinks after reading all these responses though. I truly hope, for her daughter's sake, that she got some perspective and might look at her relationship with her daughter a little differently.

[Anonymous]

you don't really seem like pollyanna in this post. you seem kind of fake. if you are that upbeat, you would be focusing on loving your daughter..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm with you Mom. Your daughter sounds like a bitch. Stay away from her.

Did Pollyanna come back? Nah, I doubt it, but nice try. Op doesnt seem to be the type who can handle anyone saying anything negative to her, so she abandoned her own thread. It would be incredibly interesting to hear what she thinks after reading all these responses though. I truly hope, for her daughter's sake, that she got some perspective and might look at her relationship with her daughter a little differently.

I think the "bitch" poster was tongue in cheek.

I actually believe OP was a troll. No one could be that dense about interpersonal relationships.

[Anonymous]

OP's post reminds me of my mother and me. Right down to the self-proclaimed "Pollyanna."

Yes, people can be that dense about interpersonal relationships. I was also introverted as a child and tended toward depression - and my mom did not like me and I knew it.

Years later I know there was more at work. My mom has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and one of the manifestations is this inability to gauge others' feelings. She is always putting her foot in her mouth, but also thinks of herself as a natural Pollyanna. And yet, she can be awful. She even judges me about my underwear and our towels.

[Anonymous]

God, I HATE people who say snotty, mean, cutting things and then can't understand why everyone doesn't just get that it's a joke and it's funny and why are they such downers?!?! There's nothing Pollyanna-ish about you. You see your daughter in a totally negative light. She happily shares something that she's excited about (what a downer, amirite?) and you dump on it (what a sunshiny thing to do!). She, rightly, points out that you could have just said something nice (what one imagines Pollyanna would have done) and you think SHE'S the negative one?

Jesus Christ, I hate people like you. A true Pollyanna looks for the best in people and situations. You look for the worst (your daughter is a downer, no one in your family has any musical talent).

[Anonymous]

I think that most of us who commented on this thread could start a support group for introverts who are children of judgy, obtuse mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's post reminds me of my mother and me. Right down to the self-proclaimed "Pollyanna."

Yes, people can be that dense about interpersonal relationships. I was also introverted as a child and tended toward depression - and my mom did not like me and I knew it.

Years later I know there was more at work. My mom has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and one of the manifestations is this inability to gauge others' feelings. She is always putting her foot in her mouth, but also thinks of herself as a natural Pollyanna. And yet, she can be awful. She even judges me about my underwear and our towels.

What? It's not normal for a mother to judge her daughter about her towels? The ones they use when they come to stay with us? My mom's been judging my towels for years, that and everything else in my house. I'm sure I'm a "downer" after having endured about five minutes of her crap.

[Anonymous]

Haha so true! About the mom causing the daughter to be a downer & the post about the support group!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me get this straight.

Your daughter texts you happy and bubbly and enthused about her new piano -- you immediately prick her bubble by informing her "jokingly" no one in the family has any musical talent. But you were of course kidding. Because you have a sunshiney bright disposition and she does not.

OP, we all have a certain way of looking at ourselves which is firmly established. We don't take the time to question it. But I ask you, who in the above scenario was bright and upbeat? You or your daughter? Couldn't you have just been happy for her? Why did you need to make a mean joke?

+1

No emoticon showing you were joking? It's really hard to tell with a text and it's clear that you and DD have issues so she probably didn't know what to think. You actually owe her an apology. And if you want her to be less of a Debbie Downer, put on your biggest pollyanna and be happy with her whenever she *is* happy when talking to you.

[Anonymous]

Forget the piano text....this line tells us everything about who you are:

"Shes a therapist/social worker and so shes really in to the whole look at the grim side of life thing... "

My mom's a piece of work, but you've really got issues.

[Anonymous]

I feel sorry for your daughter because of the hurt you put her through but I feel even more sad for you because you don't even realize how terribly mean you sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP's post reminds me of my mother and me. Right down to the self-proclaimed "Pollyanna."

Yes, people can be that dense about interpersonal relationships. I was also introverted as a child and tended toward depression - and my mom did not like me and I knew it.

Years later I know there was more at work. My mom has been diagnosed with inattentive ADHD and one of the manifestations is this inability to gauge others' feelings. She is always putting her foot in her mouth, but also thinks of herself as a natural Pollyanna. And yet, she can be awful. She even judges me about my underwear and our towels.

Heeeey brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that most of us who commented on this thread could start a support group for introverts who are children of judgy, obtuse mothers.

I posted earlier and I totally agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think OP's question is about much more than the text message about the piano.

OP, you sound like my Mom - extroverted, maybe not very self-aware. And I empathize with your daughter. I have struggled with depression most of my life and I'm a textbook introvert. I always felt like my mother did not accept me as I was, because she has a hard time relating to people who are not like her. She would shame me for being to shy and sensitive instead of trying to empathize with me. I could try to be more cheerful, but interactions with her usually put me in a worse mood. Once I became an adult, she was the last to find out that I had a great sense of humor.

Try to be more accepting and learn to communicate in her language, whatever that is.

Wow, my mom is just the same!!

Op, you shot her down, probably for the zillionth time. It's rejection. It's troubling that you believe you were being light and funny, when actually you were being negative and mean.

[Anonymous]

Where's OP?
Clearly she couldn't handle being called out for poor behavior. Pollyanna indeed.