My friend is now mad at me for not calling her soon to be ex husband an asshole

[Anonymous]

I don't doubt that your friend is a pill OP. That being said, you gave examples that have the potential to ruin any marriage. Your friend doesn't have to forgive a mentally ill relative who is unkind to her. That type of fforgiveness only comes with time, life experience and prayer. Your friend's ex may have been giving money or inappropriate amounts of time and energy to his family. Since it sounds like you have a crush on the dude, imagine cuddling with him and then a relative calls to ask for money or help. You may be ok with it once or twice. Note that these types of relatives aren't the nicest people, when you answer the phone they rudely demand "let me talk to John!" without giving you the time of day. They are often cagey about what the actual problem is, but they know that money will solve it. They tend to call at terrible times such as while you're having sex, while you're watching a favorite tv show, while you're getting the kids to bed, that sort of time frame. Your friend's ex sounds like the sort of person who says and does all the right things... but only if you aren't living with him. Keep that in mind as you proceed. Lastly, know that you can be friends with whoever you want. You don't have to end your friendship with him because your buddy no longer likes him. You're an adult and can be friends with anybody you'd like.