Why do you "slut shame?"

[Anonymous]

I felt like there was a lot more public judgment about Clinton getting a blowjob from an intern than there was about how and why Bush got us stuck in a war that cost many, many innocent lives.

Maybe it's the Stalin thing about the loss of one life being a tragedy and the loss of many lives being a statistic. Or maybe Americans blow sex way out of proportion and value the lives of foreigners so little.

[Anonymous]

I don't judge people. Have never asked my wife a number and never will but putting the pieces together, has to be at least 20-25. What I will say is that whenever some story from her past comes up, I am like a wildman in bed for the next few nights. Who knows? Maybe she does this on purpose when she wants me to take an aggressive approach.

[Anonymous]

If immense amounts of casual sex aren't making you happy, then stop having immense amounts of casual sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If immense amounts of casual sex aren't making you happy, then stop having immense amounts of casual sex.

I'd amend that to say that you should stop if immense amounts of casual sex are making you unhappy. If there is merely a correlation between the casual sex and not being happy, it might be you need to keep having the sex and change something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Insecure betas hate women who they can't have.

That's not slut shaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I felt like there was a lot more public judgment about Clinton getting a blowjob from an intern than there was about how and why Bush got us stuck in a war that cost many, many innocent lives.

Maybe it's the Stalin thing about the loss of one life being a tragedy and the loss of many lives being a statistic. Or maybe Americans blow sex way out of proportion and value the lives of foreigners so little.

You're right on all accounts, but you can spin the bloody deaths of millions as a sacrifice for national security but you can't do the same for the president sexually harassing an intern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I felt like there was a lot more public judgment about Clinton getting a blowjob from an intern than there was about how and why Bush got us stuck in a war that cost many, many innocent lives.

Maybe it's the Stalin thing about the loss of one life being a tragedy and the loss of many lives being a statistic. Or maybe Americans blow sex way out of proportion and value the lives of foreigners so little.

You're right on all accounts, but you can spin the bloody deaths of millions as a sacrifice for national security but you can't do the same for the president sexually harassing an intern.

You made me flash back to a memory of a guy delivering firewood to our house telling me about how the Iraq war was a good thing on account of what the Iraqis did to us on 9/11. Not sure how our conversation got to that point, but I felt bad that his vote counted exactly as much as mine. (But I digress.)

[Anonymous]

A lot of it has to do with America's weird puritanical background. Many European-descended Americans came here to practice essentially extremist versions of religions -- the majority of which were Judeo-Christian.

Judeo-Christian religion originates from a time/place/culture (thousands of years ago, the middle east, tribespeople) where people lived in relatively small groups and individuals' business became the group's business because an extra mouth to feed or infidelity that rocked the stability of the social order could result in life-or-death problems. Therefore, sex was strictly regulated (e.g., circumcision, severe punishments for infidelity, commandments against committing adultery or even thinking about sexing up your neighbor's wife). Despite having moved on to a world that, thousands of years later, doesn't drastically change if someone sleeps with someone else (thanks birth control, thanks condoms, thanks surplus of food, thanks potable water, etc), we still have these ancient hang-ups baked into our culture.

I'm as "unslutty" as they come -- virgin until I married DH -- but I enjoy sex and don't see why I need to police it on anyone else's behalf, except for my minor children through teaching them the facts about sex and how to make good decisions about it. DH and I took a vow, and I expect him to keep it as an individual (and expect myself to, too) but if we don't, that's between us, since we are the parties involved in our wedding vows!

To try to shame other people for enjoying their bodies seems really backwards to me. As long as they aren't hurting anyone else (I do agree infidelity is unethical and hurtful), they should go for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A lot of it has to do with America's weird puritanical background. Many European-descended Americans came here to practice essentially extremist versions of religions -- the majority of which were Judeo-Christian.

Judeo-Christian religion originates from a time/place/culture (thousands of years ago, the middle east, tribespeople) where people lived in relatively small groups and individuals' business became the group's business because an extra mouth to feed or infidelity that rocked the stability of the social order could result in life-or-death problems. Therefore, sex was strictly regulated (e.g., circumcision, severe punishments for infidelity, commandments against committing adultery or even thinking about sexing up your neighbor's wife). Despite having moved on to a world that, thousands of years later, doesn't drastically change if someone sleeps with someone else (thanks birth control, thanks condoms, thanks surplus of food, thanks potable water, etc), we still have these ancient hang-ups baked into our culture.

I'm as "unslutty" as they come -- virgin until I married DH -- but I enjoy sex and don't see why I need to police it on anyone else's behalf, except for my minor children through teaching them the facts about sex and how to make good decisions about it. DH and I took a vow, and I expect him to keep it as an individual (and expect myself to, too) but if we don't, that's between us, since we are the parties involved in our wedding vows!

To try to shame other people for enjoying their bodies seems really backwards to me. As long as they aren't hurting anyone else (I do agree infidelity is unethical and hurtful), they should go for it.

Preach PP!

[Anonymous]

I think a better question for the OP would be
- "why is EVERY expression of a conservative personal preference for sexuality deemed slut-shaming?"

or maybe

- "why is it that telling your DS or DD to refrain from being cheap with their bodies and only sleeping with those who love and value them - which should ideally be a small number because love isn't cheap either - considered slut-shaming?"

We throw around "slut-shaming" too loosely.

If I express my preferences, live by my preferences, and teach those preferences to my children, I am NOT slut-shaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a better question for the OP would be
- "why is EVERY expression of a conservative personal preference for sexuality deemed slut-shaming?"

or maybe

- "why is it that telling your DS or DD to refrain from being cheap with their bodies and only sleeping with those who love and value them - which should ideally be a small number because love isn't cheap either - considered slut-shaming?"

We throw around "slut-shaming" too loosely.

If I express my preferences, live by my preferences, and teach those preferences to my children, I am NOT slut-shaming.

"Conservative personal preference" is way too vague.

"Being cheap with their bodies" is way too vague.

You've said exactly nothing about how you go about determining what's sexually immoral and why. One of the PPs mentioned hurting others (e.g. infidelity). That's a rational moral standard. Criticizing sex because it hasn't been sanctioned by self-proclaimed mouthpieces of a religion invented by bronze aged shepherds is not a rational standard.

[Anonymous]

Only if you are fucking married men...and, for the record, I fine the married man they are fucking just as repulsive.

Two consenting, non attached singles--don't care what they do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a better question for the OP would be
- "why is EVERY expression of a conservative personal preference for sexuality deemed slut-shaming?"

or maybe

- "why is it that telling your DS or DD to refrain from being cheap with their bodies and only sleeping with those who love and value them - which should ideally be a small number because love isn't cheap either - considered slut-shaming?"

We throw around "slut-shaming" too loosely.

If I express my preferences, live by my preferences, and teach those preferences to my children, I am NOT slut-shaming.

"Conservative personal preference" is way too vague.

"Being cheap with their bodies" is way too vague.

You've said exactly nothing about how you go about determining what's sexually immoral and why. One of the PPs mentioned hurting others (e.g. infidelity). That's a rational moral standard. Criticizing sex because it hasn't been sanctioned by self-proclaimed mouthpieces of a religion invented by bronze aged shepherds is not a rational standard.

*Applause*

[Anonymous]

The groups who slut shame are generally the insecure or those with strong religious beliefs. Insecure men try to tear down a woman and diminish her value by slut shaming. These guys are easy to spot because they think a woman's value is the sex she has to offer. If they knew how obvious it is that they have mommy issues, I don't think they'd act like that. Women who slut shame are the same ones who think women are responsible for policing the libidos of men by not being sexy or offering sex. It's because they feel threatened.

[Anonymous]

Because the girl being "shamed" is not yet mature enough to fully understand the consequences of her actions