Quitting a team sports mid-season

[Anonymous]

Other than the horrible coach situation I agree that quitting in the middle of the season is not okay. In addition to what everybody else said, kids are notoriously fickle. One week my son is ready to quit and the next having the time of his life. If I listened to him every time he didn't want to do something he'd be sitting on the couch all day and night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of any child being allowed to quit a sport's team midseason. It just sends the wrong message about commitment and teamwork. I would have your DS tough it out, if I were you, and learn from the experience.

+1

I am also not a fan of 2 sports per season. They always end up letting one of the teams or coaches down due to conflicts.

By 2nd grade we were a 1-sport per season per kid family. They excel at many sports, we make them choose 1.

+100

My boys love sports and could, in reality, play on travel teams in 3 different sports. YET-- we make them choose 1-per season.

It's a competition in this area to have your kid in as many sports as possible. We have a first grader on my youngest son's soccer team that is doing 3 this spring (soccer, lacrosse and baseball). He misses every practice and 1/2 the games. For the coach (who is given just enough players) it leaves him in the lurch a lot when so many kids are missing for other sports.

The kids are also frazzled coming from one game directly from the other and can't concentrate or give their best.

[Anonymous]

Let the kid quit. I think your DC is showing maturity and giving you feedback. As an adult we are all praised for pushing back, balancing commitments etc so why not as a child. Also, you only get to be young once, why not relax instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

x 1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

You are completely wrong. If there were 10 or 12 players on the team, then there would be a problem with playing time. If you want your kid to be on a small enough team that there is playing time, then you need to make it a high priority. If you don't care about playing time, then you should not be playing.

If you want both, then you are a typical f***ed up entitled parent who thinks there time is more important than mine (as the coach).

own up your mistake, coach. ONE kid quit your team and you ended up 1 short and had to forfeit a playoff game. and you're telling me i'm wrong? LOL.

if this is not a colossal failure of your coaching i don't know what is.

Another PP and coach here. I was a PP who said that I would make my kid finish the season before quitting. I do not know the particulars of the PP coach's league, but our league reduced the team size because parents complained that teams were too big and the kids were not getting enoguh playing time. Our league formed an extra team and went from 12 kids per team to a maximum of 10 and some teams had 9. So it may not be a coaching issue - it may be that the league mandated it in response to parent complaints. When I coached, I did take into account that kids had other commitments and priorities from time to time. I have also had kids quit my team for various reasons that I FULLY supported - grades dropping, illness, etc. But if a kid committed to my team (and I did not take another kid so that the first kid would have a spot) and then he quit halfway through just because he wanted to, that would be one bridge forever burned. If you make a commitment, honor it. It's that simple.

[Anonymous]

You could use this as an opportunity to teach grit & resilience, which are character traits recent research shows helps kids be happier in life long term and do well. Yes, acknowledge mistake in more than one sport, acknowledge feedback - but then strategize how to manage through it. Also, for majority of sports in this area, its really not that much more of a season left. There are 2 weekends to memorial day, which many teams have off that weekend and then 1-3 weekends after that. Taking off 1 practice a week maybe enough to lessen the burden. (usually bad weather helps on that occasionally though we have had a streak of good weather past few weeks)

Also, as much bad press as many coaches get, there are so many great ones in this area that really want whats best for the kids and will partner with you. Many coaches are understanding when kids get stretched - for whatever reason (school, health, fatigue, family issues even parents over committing). If you have a good coach, they maybe able to help talk through some options. I've seen in it different situations with positive outcomes.

[Anonymous]

I agree with those who stress commitment and sticking it out. That said, if your child simply refuses to go notwithstanding references to team spirit, the greater good, rewards, threats....there's simply nothing a parent can do. Especially if the child is a teenager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with those who stress commitment and sticking it out. That said, if your child simply refuses to go notwithstanding references to team spirit, the greater good, rewards, threats....there's simply nothing a parent can do. Especially if the child is a teenager.

I suppose that is true, but if my kid took that position, it would certainly influence my decision the next time he approached me with an activity that he wanted to participate in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a competition in this area to have your kid in as many sports as possible.

maybe that's the case in your circle. my son does two sports, soccer and baseball, but only in spring. he does soccer in spring mostly for socializing and hanging out with his fall soccer buddies, and baseball because it's a spring sport. we're not competing with anybody.

[Anonymous]

My son plays travel soccer, U-13. We had 1 boy who left in the middle of Fall, and one who had left now.
Without any problems to the team.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son plays travel soccer, U-13. We had 1 boy who left in the middle of Fall, and one who had left now.
Without any problems to the team.

It might even have benefited your team. Every kid now gets more playing time and a player who doesn't want to be there is gone. I used to coach rec soccer when my kids were younger. If a kid doesn't want to be there, I prefer the kid quits. I was a volunteer who has to put with kids whose parents were making them play. They didnt want to practice, werent motivated to try, and brought negative energy to the team. You aren't teaching your kid a life lesson you are making volunteer coaches miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you tell me why many think it's not ideal to quit a team sport in the middle of season, even if DC no longer enjoys it? I may not be thinking this straight but there's still more than a month left and DC is miserable already, and I fear forcing him to continue will kill it for him. That's the least I want to see happen.

Let him quit.

Adults walk away from situations that make them miserable all the time, and are called smart for doing so. If a child wants to walk away from something that makes him or her miserable, then the whole OMG commitment and character panic starts.

To which I say: baloney.

Value your child's peace of mind over the team. The team will manage. Your child shold know that his voice is being heard and that his inner balance is valued and respected.

Other posters, flame away, I don't care.

I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

I'd have him quit. I'm more concerned about kids' mental health than I am the character-forming benefits of sticking with a sport you dislike.