Quitting a team sports mid-season

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could you tell me why many think it's not ideal to quit a team sport in the middle of season, even if DC no longer enjoys it? I may not be thinking this straight but there's still more than a month left and DC is miserable already, and I fear forcing him to continue will kill it for him. That's the least I want to see happen.

Let him quit.

Adults walk away from situations that make them miserable all the time, and are called smart for doing so. If a child wants to walk away from something that makes him or her miserable, then the whole OMG commitment and character panic starts.

To which I say: baloney.

Value your child's peace of mind over the team. The team will manage. Your child shold know that his voice is being heard and that his inner balance is valued and respected.

Other posters, flame away, I don't care.

I agree with you. If an adult were a valuable team member on a project team but quit their job for some reason--maybe a better opportunity, maybe to become a SAHP, maybe they won the lottery--no one would bat an eye. Everyone is replaceable. And teams change for circumstances all the time.

[Anonymous]

My son plays travel soccer and wants to quit - badly. He is one of the better players on the team, but has decided he no longer enjoys playing. He has a lot of other activities that challenge him more and which he truly enjoys.

The main reason I am making him finish out the season, besides the commitment to a team issue which I totally agree with, is the fact that rosters are frozen at the beginning of the season and they cannot add players. I do not want them to be a "man-down".

[Anonymous]

I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

[Anonymous]

Its a crappy thing to do to a team.

It also sends a terrible message to a kid.

Flaky, annoying, undependable adults are those who as kids were allowed to quit things mid-way through. Their parents never taught them to respect their commitments nor to think of anyone beside themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of any child being allowed to quit a sport's team midseason. It just sends the wrong message about commitment and teamwork. I would have your DS tough it out, if I were you, and learn from the experience.

This.

Yup, none of our kids is allowed to quit any activity/sport midseason. They have to go to the end and then can elect not to play in the future. Otherwise, teaching kid that when life gets hard, they quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its a crappy thing to do to a team.

It also sends a terrible message to a kid.

Flaky, annoying, undependable adults are those who as kids were allowed to quit things mid-way through. Their parents never taught them to respect their commitments nor to think of anyone beside themselves.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of any child being allowed to quit a sport's team midseason. It just sends the wrong message about commitment and teamwork. I would have your DS tough it out, if I were you, and learn from the experience.

This.

Yup, none of our kids is allowed to quit any activity/sport midseason. They have to go to the end and then can elect not to play in the future. Otherwise, teaching kid that when life gets hard, they quit.

Agreed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of any child being allowed to quit a sport's team midseason. It just sends the wrong message about commitment and teamwork. I would have your DS tough it out, if I were you, and learn from the experience.

This.

Yup, none of our kids is allowed to quit any activity/sport midseason. They have to go to the end and then can elect not to play in the future. Otherwise, teaching kid that when life gets hard, they quit.

Agreed!

Another agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a former coach in a rec league. When you commit to play, they build a team. The the team has a specified number of players. For example, last season, we had 8 girls on the basketball team. One quit. Down to 7. One got hurt. Down to six. In the playoffs, team with a record of 8-2, had to forfeit because two girls were sick, so I had 4 girls. Quitting a team means you are letting everyone else on the team down.

you shouldn't have started the season with 8 players only. these are kids, not pros, and kids have other priorities and obligations far more important than 'not letting the team down.' oh and kids get sick and you can do nothing about.

As a parent (and former coach), I think you have it wrong. I think that "letting the team and his teammates down" is a valid reason when the kid just wants to quit midseason. You are a part of a team and part of teaching teamwork is that teammates should be able to depend on each other. Teaching a kid dependabilty is an important ethic to teach. School and family reasons - absolutely fine. Those are priorties over the team. Leaving the team in a lurch just because he does not want to play - would not fly in our coop. The one time my DS raised the idea of quitting midseason. I just reminded him that he asked us to play, we all arranged our finances and schedule to permit it and his teammates (and friends) were depending on him. He understood that. He finished the season and quit that sport afterwards.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above comments. If you quit a individual activity like playing an instrument or tennis it only affects you. Kids who commit to a team should stick it out as a life lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of any child being allowed to quit a sport's team midseason. It just sends the wrong message about commitment and teamwork. I would have your DS tough it out, if I were you, and learn from the experience.

+1

I am also not a fan of 2 sports per season. They always end up letting one of the teams or coaches down due to conflicts.

By 2nd grade we were a 1-sport per season per kid family. They excel at many sports, we make them choose 1.

Yes. Mom of three here and we've never allowed more than one sport. Too much racing around, money and time and stress. I see the other side; my DH is a multi-sport volunteer coach (house) and it is a logistical nightmare when a parent emails DH to advise that DS will be late or could miss the game entirely because s/he is playing in another sports team or competing in a tourney. recent situation where parent emails DH and suggests that although DC will be late, DC must be put in game immediately. Uh, no. Too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not a fan of any child being allowed to quit a sport's team midseason. It just sends the wrong message about commitment and teamwork. I would have your DS tough it out, if I were you, and learn from the experience.

This.

Yup, none of our kids is allowed to quit any activity/sport midseason. They have to go to the end and then can elect not to play in the future. Otherwise, teaching kid that when life gets hard, they quit.

Agreed!

Another agreement.

+2 I made my 9yo stick it out, and then he sat out a season. Lo and behold he missed it so he started up again in the spring. Had I let him quit I'm sure we would not have been welcomed back and may have gotten a crappy placement.

[Anonymous]

I would almost always say no...but, sometimes parents should pull the plug when their kid becomes a detriment to the team. My son is on a spring hockey team and one of the kids clearly doesn't want to be there--stands on the ice during games and won't participate--and is now so upset about being there, the child has now taken to tripping their own teammates. I pray the parents let this child quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you. If an adult were a valuable team member on a project team but quit their job for some reason--maybe a better opportunity, maybe to become a SAHP, maybe they won the lottery--no one would bat an eye. Everyone is replaceable. And teams change for circumstances all the time.

True. But OP's kid didn't win the lottery or get a better opportunity, right? So the analogy is a short-term project with a small group and one co-worker volunteers to play a large role. Then half-way thru decides its too much work with everything else going on and drops out of the project with 4 weeks until the deadline.

I'm sure everybody on the team will just shrug and say hey, everybody's replaceable...