Dating and herpes
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Anonymous
| Wow really? you had unprotected sex with the 3 and nothing ever got caught? |
Anonymous
Nope. |
Anonymous
Well, bully for you. But the fact is the large majority of people who have it don't realize it. |
Anonymous
This is great advice. Tell early (though not immediately -- let yourselves at least get to know each other first!) so the person knows you are being totally upfront. Although I might be freaked out if a person told me this very early on, I'd also respect it and appreciate it. I would be angry even if I really liked the other person if we got really into the relationship and then I found out. If I wasn't comfortable with continuing, it would feel like I just "wasted" my time with them and like they weren't being honest. |
Anonymous
Have you been tested ? It's unlikely you e not already been exposed Ever had chicken pox? |
Anonymous
| My DH has herpes. I found out when we had been dating a few months. He had never had an outbreak and didn't even know he was infected. When I think back on how upset I was at the time, it now seems ridiculous. There is such a stigma about herpes and I guess some people do have frequent and bad outbreaks but I wonder if they are in the minority? I remember wondering if I would be able to give birth vaginally, all kinds of crazy things. Well, 10 years later and I have never been infected. We do not use condoms. My DH has maybe one outbreak a year and we are careful then but otherwise it has been a complete non issue. |
Anonymous
| Oh and I had two DCs, vaginally births, total non issue. |
Anonymous
| Count me as another who has had it for many years, married with three children and it's been no big deal. DH has never gotten it. Kids are all fine. |
Anonymous
A normal STD screening won't include herpes. You'd have to ask for it and most dr won't test for it unless you have an outbreak. At least that's what my dr told me when I was worried about herpes before. |
Anonymous
Actually, unless you specifically asked to be tested for herpes, you probably weren't tested for it when you were pregnant. It is not a routine part of pregnancy testing. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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I'd say not immediately, but definitely before you do anything that could result in them catching it, and before you become exclusive. Probably in the 3-5 date realm, depending on the progression of your relationship.
As someone pointed out, it's a private matter for you, so you don't have to reveal to everyone you go on one or two dates with that you may decide you don't want to see again, anyway. However, waiting until the 'heat of the moment' or until the person is so emotionally invested that you're betting they won't walk away would be lousy of you, too, and more likely to piss them off/make them feel fooled. |
Anonymous
| I've been told twice, once at the right time (after the first time we got all kissy and handsy)(but not right at that time - we weren't going to sleep together. He waited until we went out the next time and told me during dinner). And once at the wrong time (we were about to have sex and *I* asked *him* if he had any STDs... and that was when he mentioned herpes.) I still dated the 1st guy and still slept with the 2nd guy (was going to use condoms anyway with both and knew a bit about what else to watch for, although nothing is foolproof). Never had any problem myself, still STD-free decades later. |