I need some support, please--really struggling with going back to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
So is your husband home with your baby? I'm confused.

Sounds like it. But, either way, that doesn't mean her feelings are not very real and hard. There was somebody posting the other day about the same thing where both parents worked from home but she worked more than he did and was afraid she was really going to resent it once the baby came. This is a pretty common feeling, people. Most mothers WANT to be with their kids. We just can't all actually do it as much as we would like.

[Anonymous]

So is your husband home with your baby? I'm confused.


OP here. No, my husband is in the process of building a business that doesn't yet provide enough income to support our family expenses. He's succeeding and I'm very proud of him, but these things take time, and I've chosen to support his endeavor.

[Anonymous]

I agree with many PP. It was SO hard for me in the beginning. I cried for weeks off and on leading up the time I had to go back. I have been back 4 months now and it is pretty much normal and ok now. I usually look forward to going to work but I do miss DD. So, I also look forward to coming home and traffic irritates me more than it did before. I also think it's getting easier as DD is almost 8 months old and is less of a baby and plays more. She enjoys other people now whereas at 4 months, she mostly wanted to be held by me (or so I felt).

Although last night I got stuck at work late, and missed DD being awake completely. I cried the whole way home. It's an emotional struggle and I think about what I really want to do a lot. In the beginning I thought I would just try it and if I hated it, I would quit. Well, I loved my job before and I still love it. I also feel guilty when I'm not with DD. Last week she was teething and was a nightmare but I still missed her. I don't want to NOT work, but somedays I don't want to work. I think it's a constant struggle but I assume it will get easier as she gets older and is in school/socializing with other kids at daycare or preschool.

[Anonymous]

19:28 poster. The other thing I wanted to add is that if it's terrible, you can readjust your life plan. Can you move somewhere cheaper (or smaller) etc? Or get a part time job somewhere? I feel like I love our life the way it is but I like knowing that if it ever gets too bad for me, DH and I can readjust. Give it a few months and see how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Please ignore all the posters who are not providing support but trying to torture you and make you feel worse! Of course it's a struggle, but I agree...you are setting a good example for your child. It's possible to balance a career and family. It is not always easy but it's worth it on both sides if you can make it work. Your child cares that you love them more than anything.

When I was going back to work, one of my friends told me her mother told her (later in life) that she was in daycare from 3 months to age 4. She doesn't remember it all. She just has good memories of her mom and of playing with kids when she was a kid. At this point (and I'm SURE many of the "haters" will disagree) it's harder on you that it is on your child.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you're going through this. I am still having a hard time and it has been 7 months since DD went into daycare (at 3 months old.) I have a very family-friendly career as a teacher. That helps me get through the day. I know that I'll be done at 2 p.m. and have the rest of the afternoon to play. Knowing that helps me feel better about making peanuts as a salary + being away from DD all day.