Men, what are you looking for in a second wife?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm curious about this. If you're happily married, what made you choose your wife? If you're divorced, what are you looking for from women now?

I am happily married and have been for 50 years.

To be honest I think my wife chose me, and let me think it was my idea. For my part the main factor was lust.

Why we have stayed happily married for so long? Similar libidos and being intellectual equals.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

It is sex, but it's also what sex represents to a lot of men. I think some women fundamentally don't understand how sex ties into a man's feeling of being loved. It's not just chasing an orgasm. When a man's been with an asexual wife, he's been without love for a long period of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many guys are guilted/shamed into believing sexual desires should be pushed aside for "love and family."

Thus, guys get stuck with fat, frumpy, nasty, controlling women who don't want to fuck or suck, but expect the husband to dote on their fat asses.

Ok. So My example is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. So, for wife number two, she has to be pleasant, pleasant to look at, and in bed, she has to WANT to do the things I like... Enthusiastically.

Usually, wife 1 and wife 2 are polar opposites. LOL.

Wow, you sound like a great catch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

It is sex, but it's also what sex represents to a lot of men. I think some women fundamentally don't understand how sex ties into a man's feeling of being loved. It's not just chasing an orgasm. When a man's been with an asexual wife, he's been without love for a long period of time.

I'm the Op. This is something I've learned about men, mostly from reading the sexless marriage threads in the explicit section. I was in one too and it's devastating. I started this thread because I feel like now that I'm dating my focus is on sex, attraction, chemistry. I know that's one of the qualities I have to offer a man but I was wondering what else they look for in a woman. Based on this thread it seems like for the second marriage sex is enough! Which is a relief, frankly.

[Anonymous]

Often, people rag on a man for marrying beneath his social status because he hitches with a "trampy" woman. This thread says it all: they want sex!

[Anonymous]

I'm on my second marriage and have been happily married now for 12 years.

My first wife put on a lot of weight (we never had kids), became an alcaholic and had multiple affairs. I finally divorced her after finding out about the ongoing affair.

What I wanted in a second wife was someone who I could be attracted to who would also be faithful. I ended up getting so much more than that. She's an amazing person and I couldn't have possibly done better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

ITA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

It is sex, but it's also what sex represents to a lot of men. I think some women fundamentally don't understand how sex ties into a man's feeling of being loved. It's not just chasing an orgasm. When a man's been with an asexual wife, he's been without love for a long period of time.

I'm the Op. This is something I've learned about men, mostly from reading the sexless marriage threads in the explicit section. I was in one too and it's devastating. I started this thread because I feel like now that I'm dating my focus is on sex, attraction, chemistry. I know that's one of the qualities I have to offer a man but I was wondering what else they look for in a woman. Based on this thread it seems like for the second marriage sex is enough! Which is a relief, frankly.

i am a DW in a sexually challenged marriage due to my DH's issues. i fantasize about divorcing and finding a man with whom i can have an amazing sexual and emotional connection. that would definitely be my basis for a second husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys are guilted/shamed into believing sexual desires should be pushed aside for "love and family."

Thus, guys get stuck with fat, frumpy, nasty, controlling women who don't want to fuck or suck, but expect the husband to dote on their fat asses.

Ok. So My example is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. So, for wife number two, she has to be pleasant, pleasant to look at, and in bed, she has to WANT to do the things I like... Enthusiastically.

Usually, wife 1 and wife 2 are polar opposites. LOL.

Wow, you sound like a great catch.

And you sound like every guy's wife #1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

It is sex, but it's also what sex represents to a lot of men. I think some women fundamentally don't understand how sex ties into a man's feeling of being loved. It's not just chasing an orgasm. When a man's been with an asexual wife, he's been without love for a long period of time.

I'm the Op. This is something I've learned about men, mostly from reading the sexless marriage threads in the explicit section. I was in one too and it's devastating. I started this thread because I feel like now that I'm dating my focus is on sex, attraction, chemistry. I know that's one of the qualities I have to offer a man but I was wondering what else they look for in a woman. Based on this thread it seems like for the second marriage sex is enough! Which is a relief, frankly.

Don't forget to be nice too.

[Anonymous]

I'm on my second wife. She's very athletic and we have sex a few times a week. I couldn't be happier and I do everything I can to make sure she's happy as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Sex it is, overwhelmingly. Thanks, guys.

It is sex, but it's also what sex represents to a lot of men. I think some women fundamentally don't understand how sex ties into a man's feeling of being loved. It's not just chasing an orgasm. When a man's been with an asexual wife, he's been without love for a long period of time.

I'm the Op. This is something I've learned about men, mostly from reading the sexless marriage threads in the explicit section. I was in one too and it's devastating. I started this thread because I feel like now that I'm dating my focus is on sex, attraction, chemistry. I know that's one of the qualities I have to offer a man but I was wondering what else they look for in a woman. Based on this thread it seems like for the second marriage sex is enough! Which is a relief, frankly.

Sex will NOT sustain a relationship. I have seen a number of marriages that failed and they said the main area they were compatible in was sex. If you truly want to know how to have a successful 2nd marriage journal the first marriage. See what was good and what wasn't. And if you don't know what men want in a relationship...and there is no absolute to that...then how about reading on it to better understand men. BUT, you will need to get to know the man you are serious about. Communication is far more important than sex.

Right now it would seem that after being on a sexual starvation diet you are making up for lost time. Understandable. But if the man you 'pick' only fits those three criteria you listed and his main interest in you is because he likes, among other things, getting ON, BEHIND, UNDER & IN you...the relationship will be shallow at best and probably fail.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys are guilted/shamed into believing sexual desires should be pushed aside for "love and family."

Thus, guys get stuck with fat, frumpy, nasty, controlling women who don't want to fuck or suck, but expect the husband to dote on their fat asses.

Ok. So My example is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. So, for wife number two, she has to be pleasant, pleasant to look at, and in bed, she has to WANT to do the things I like... Enthusiastically.

Usually, wife 1 and wife 2 are polar opposites. LOL.

Wow, you sound like a great catch.

And you sound like every guy's wife #1.

Not remotely, actually!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many guys are guilted/shamed into believing sexual desires should be pushed aside for "love and family."

Thus, guys get stuck with fat, frumpy, nasty, controlling women who don't want to fuck or suck, but expect the husband to dote on their fat asses.

Ok. So My example is a bit extreme, but you get the idea. So, for wife number two, she has to be pleasant, pleasant to look at, and in bed, she has to WANT to do the things I like... Enthusiastically.

Usually, wife 1 and wife 2 are polar opposites. LOL.

Wow, you sound like a great catch.

And you sound like every guy's wife #1.

Not remotely, actually!

We can even "hear" the angry "laugh" in the statement.