Is it ok to sit back and relax?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB WITHOUT SOME SORT OF POST-NUP! I speak from experience as a SAHM mom of 10 years going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. My skills are out of date, I can't find a job, I am the sole custodial parent. Trying to juggle kids and activities and a full-time job is nearly impossible.

The courts do not give alimony much anymore and provide NO/NADA/ZILCH/ZERO credit to you for your work at home and the sacrifice you made in your career trajectory by leaving your career to raise the kids. So if you ever get divorced, you will get just a couple years alimony and then have to support yourself.

That being said, I loved being at home with my kids. It was wonderful and despite everything, I don't regret it. I just wish I knew then what would happen if we divorced (ex was having affairs with hookers). I would have kept working at least part-time to stay more current and keep myself employable if I knew then what I know now.

In terms of a post-nup, I would ask for at least one year of alimony for each year you stay home AND permanent alimony of at least 50K a year (so that even if your job is not as lucrative as it was, you can still make ends meet and have a slightly better lifestyle than your current salary). And, since this is not really reality (even though I would love it to be), I'd have a cheating clause added in. If he cheats you get permanent alimony of X% of his income.

Alright, I am jumping off my bitter divorced lady soap box and heading out to pick up the kids. If you think you'd like staying at home with your kids, do it! It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life.

Have you been living under a rock that you didn't realize the financial consequences of you SAH if you divorced? Posts like these allow WOHMs to criticize SAHMs.

[Anonymous]

A cupcake cafe?!?

Lol, obvious troll but nice try OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You haven't said anything about yourself. Do you like your job? Are you looking for a huge life change?

SAHM means being the default parent. Instead of working, you would manage the nanny and housekeeper, take care of all doctor's appointments, buy groceries, cook meals, do all the night time feedings, run errands, pay bills, and be the default person for basically everything household related. Car maintenance, handymen, carpet cleaning, light bulb changing, etc.

can you see why your husband is pushing you into this role?

Husband says it be less stressful for me and that willl translate to more time to spend together as a couple

Well... also think about what he will expect from you. He may imagine you will do a lot of personal assistant-y type stuff to reduce stress on him. One of the reasons I went back to work was that I got sick of my DH dumping every little admin task on me-- it was boring, and not what I quit my job to do.

Yes I currently act as the chauffeur (do all the driving) and all the cooking. With the baby it will only increase. I can try it out and like a pp said, I still have my education and work experience.

THe chauffeur for what and who? This is stupid. Nobody can be this dumb. Also, $400k isn't even close to being enough for a full time nanny and housekeeper and your silly little pipe dream. We make more than that and don't have a FT nanny or FT housekeeper.

[Anonymous]

Ummm I wouldn't be so certain about the value of your education. You don't sound very wise OP.

[Anonymous]

My DH makes about the same as you and certainly would support me SAH. however I make around 220k. For that I work 38hrs a week and WFH alot, so it is a no brainer that I remain at work. If I had to put in 10hr days and had a nasty commute, I'd be out.

What flabbergasted me is what in the heck would a SAHM of one child need with a FT nanny? It's not like your DH makes Fuck You money. Seems like an enormous waste to me. Is this to start that cupcake business? Which in all likelihood will never be in the black.

[Anonymous]

A SAHM with a nanny and a housekeeper? What will you be doing? Starting your own business costs a lot of $$$. I would not quit my job to be a SAHM if I were you. I grew up as a child of divorce so I am sure that colors my thinking. I would never allow myself to be financially dependent on anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB WITHOUT SOME SORT OF POST-NUP! I speak from experience as a SAHM mom of 10 years going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. My skills are out of date, I can't find a job, I am the sole custodial parent. Trying to juggle kids and activities and a full-time job is nearly impossible.

The courts do not give alimony much anymore and provide NO/NADA/ZILCH/ZERO credit to you for your work at home and the sacrifice you made in your career trajectory by leaving your career to raise the kids. So if you ever get divorced, you will get just a couple years alimony and then have to support yourself.

That being said, I loved being at home with my kids. It was wonderful and despite everything, I don't regret it. I just wish I knew then what would happen if we divorced (ex was having affairs with hookers). I would have kept working at least part-time to stay more current and keep myself employable if I knew then what I know now.

In terms of a post-nup, I would ask for at least one year of alimony for each year you stay home AND permanent alimony of at least 50K a year (so that even if your job is not as lucrative as it was, you can still make ends meet and have a slightly better lifestyle than your current salary). And, since this is not really reality (even though I would love it to be), I'd have a cheating clause added in. If he cheats you get permanent alimony of X% of his income.

Alright, I am jumping off my bitter divorced lady soap box and heading out to pick up the kids. If you think you'd like staying at home with your kids, do it! It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life.

Have you been living under a rock that you didn't realize the financial consequences of you SAH if you divorced? Posts like these allow WOHMs to criticize SAHMs.

I didn't think I was living under a rock, but I guess I was. I didn't have any close friends that divorced and my parents have been married almost 60 years. I don't think that it is uncommon to assume that if you give up your career and raise your kids while helping your spouse to excel and advance in his career (by taking pretty much everything else off his plate, planning social events, helping him network, etc), that you would be somehow protected by the courts. I was truly shocked when I went through the divorce process. It doesn't quite seem fair that the working spouse only pays minimal alimony for a couple of years and makes 7 figures in income while the SAHM who now has the kids full-time doesn't even get enough child support to take care of the kids. This set up has to change. It's grossly unfair to SAHMs and as a society, I think we should encourage couples to have one parent stay at home to raise their kids.

[Anonymous]

Who is the biggest idiot. The troll or the people who keep responding to the troll. And yes, I just responded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB WITHOUT SOME SORT OF POST-NUP! I speak from experience as a SAHM mom of 10 years going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. My skills are out of date, I can't find a job, I am the sole custodial parent. Trying to juggle kids and activities and a full-time job is nearly impossible.

The courts do not give alimony much anymore and provide NO/NADA/ZILCH/ZERO credit to you for your work at home and the sacrifice you made in your career trajectory by leaving your career to raise the kids. So if you ever get divorced, you will get just a couple years alimony and then have to support yourself.

That being said, I loved being at home with my kids. It was wonderful and despite everything, I don't regret it. I just wish I knew then what would happen if we divorced (ex was having affairs with hookers). I would have kept working at least part-time to stay more current and keep myself employable if I knew then what I know now.

In terms of a post-nup, I would ask for at least one year of alimony for each year you stay home AND permanent alimony of at least 50K a year (so that even if your job is not as lucrative as it was, you can still make ends meet and have a slightly better lifestyle than your current salary). And, since this is not really reality (even though I would love it to be), I'd have a cheating clause added in. If he cheats you get permanent alimony of X% of his income.

Alright, I am jumping off my bitter divorced lady soap box and heading out to pick up the kids. If you think you'd like staying at home with your kids, do it! It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life.

Have you been living under a rock that you didn't realize the financial consequences of you SAH if you divorced? Posts like these allow WOHMs to criticize SAHMs.

I didn't think I was living under a rock, but I guess I was. I didn't have any close friends that divorced and my parents have been married almost 60 years. I don't think that it is uncommon to assume that if you give up your career and raise your kids while helping your spouse to excel and advance in his career (by taking pretty much everything else off his plate, planning social events, helping him network, etc), that you would be somehow protected by the courts. I was truly shocked when I went through the divorce process. It doesn't quite seem fair that the working spouse only pays minimal alimony for a couple of years and makes 7 figures in income while the SAHM who now has the kids full-time doesn't even get enough child support to take care of the kids. This set up has to change. It's grossly unfair to SAHMs and as a society, I think we should encourage couples to have one parent stay at home to raise their kids.

He makes.7 figures and you don't get enough support to pay for the kids?

I'd bet you are a HUGE spender.

I think as a society we should encourage people not to be dumbasses and give up their careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB WITHOUT SOME SORT OF POST-NUP! I speak from experience as a SAHM mom of 10 years going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. My skills are out of date, I can't find a job, I am the sole custodial parent. Trying to juggle kids and activities and a full-time job is nearly impossible.

The courts do not give alimony much anymore and provide NO/NADA/ZILCH/ZERO credit to you for your work at home and the sacrifice you made in your career trajectory by leaving your career to raise the kids. So if you ever get divorced, you will get just a couple years alimony and then have to support yourself.

That being said, I loved being at home with my kids. It was wonderful and despite everything, I don't regret it. I just wish I knew then what would happen if we divorced (ex was having affairs with hookers). I would have kept working at least part-time to stay more current and keep myself employable if I knew then what I know now.

In terms of a post-nup, I would ask for at least one year of alimony for each year you stay home AND permanent alimony of at least 50K a year (so that even if your job is not as lucrative as it was, you can still make ends meet and have a slightly better lifestyle than your current salary). And, since this is not really reality (even though I would love it to be), I'd have a cheating clause added in. If he cheats you get permanent alimony of X% of his income.

Alright, I am jumping off my bitter divorced lady soap box and heading out to pick up the kids. If you think you'd like staying at home with your kids, do it! It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life.

Have you been living under a rock that you didn't realize the financial consequences of you SAH if you divorced? Posts like these allow WOHMs to criticize SAHMs.

I didn't think I was living under a rock, but I guess I was. I didn't have any close friends that divorced and my parents have been married almost 60 years. I don't think that it is uncommon to assume that if you give up your career and raise your kids while helping your spouse to excel and advance in his career (by taking pretty much everything else off his plate, planning social events, helping him network, etc), that you would be somehow protected by the courts. I was truly shocked when I went through the divorce process. It doesn't quite seem fair that the working spouse only pays minimal alimony for a couple of years and makes 7 figures in income while the SAHM who now has the kids full-time doesn't even get enough child support to take care of the kids. This set up has to change. It's grossly unfair to SAHMs and as a society, I think we should encourage couples to have one parent stay at home to raise their kids.

+1 sorry OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB WITHOUT SOME SORT OF POST-NUP! I speak from experience as a SAHM mom of 10 years going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. My skills are out of date, I can't find a job, I am the sole custodial parent. Trying to juggle kids and activities and a full-time job is nearly impossible.

The courts do not give alimony much anymore and provide NO/NADA/ZILCH/ZERO credit to you for your work at home and the sacrifice you made in your career trajectory by leaving your career to raise the kids. So if you ever get divorced, you will get just a couple years alimony and then have to support yourself.

That being said, I loved being at home with my kids. It was wonderful and despite everything, I don't regret it. I just wish I knew then what would happen if we divorced (ex was having affairs with hookers). I would have kept working at least part-time to stay more current and keep myself employable if I knew then what I know now.

In terms of a post-nup, I would ask for at least one year of alimony for each year you stay home AND permanent alimony of at least 50K a year (so that even if your job is not as lucrative as it was, you can still make ends meet and have a slightly better lifestyle than your current salary). And, since this is not really reality (even though I would love it to be), I'd have a cheating clause added in. If he cheats you get permanent alimony of X% of his income.

Alright, I am jumping off my bitter divorced lady soap box and heading out to pick up the kids. If you think you'd like staying at home with your kids, do it! It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life.

Have you been living under a rock that you didn't realize the financial consequences of you SAH if you divorced? Posts like these allow WOHMs to criticize SAHMs.

I didn't think I was living under a rock, but I guess I was. I didn't have any close friends that divorced and my parents have been married almost 60 years. I don't think that it is uncommon to assume that if you give up your career and raise your kids while helping your spouse to excel and advance in his career (by taking pretty much everything else off his plate, planning social events, helping him network, etc), that you would be somehow protected by the courts. I was truly shocked when I went through the divorce process. It doesn't quite seem fair that the working spouse only pays minimal alimony for a couple of years and makes 7 figures in income while the SAHM who now has the kids full-time doesn't even get enough child support to take care of the kids. This set up has to change. It's grossly unfair to SAHMs and as a society, I think we should encourage couples to have one parent stay at home to raise their kids.

He makes.7 figures and you don't get enough support to pay for the kids?

I'd bet you are a HUGE spender.

I think as a society we should encourage people not to be dumbasses and give up their careers.

So, you didn't get any property? You pay for healthcare? You didn't get any part of his retirement? You have ro pay foe your kids collefe? He took all the asserts and you were thrown to the atreet?

It's a pretty simple equation when kids are involved. If he makes 7 figures, you are getting quite alot. are you just upset that you can't maintain the same lifestyle and that once the kids are grown you have to do what most all adults do? Which is get up every day and earn a paycheck?

Your attitude.seems very antiquated. I for one am glad women are encouraged to get an education and work a job. I never want to end up like you..a man is never a plan.