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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Is it ok to sit back and relax?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR JOB WITHOUT SOME SORT OF POST-NUP! I speak from experience as a SAHM mom of 10 years going through a divorce after 20 years of marriage. My skills are out of date, I can't find a job, I am the sole custodial parent. Trying to juggle kids and activities and a full-time job is nearly impossible. The courts do not give alimony much anymore and provide NO/NADA/ZILCH/ZERO credit to you for your work at home and the sacrifice you made in your career trajectory by leaving your career to raise the kids. So if you ever get divorced, you will get just a couple years alimony and then have to support yourself. That being said, I loved being at home with my kids. It was wonderful and despite everything, I don't regret it. I just wish I knew then what would happen if we divorced (ex was having affairs with hookers). I would have kept working at least part-time to stay more current and keep myself employable if I knew then what I know now. In terms of a post-nup, I would ask for at least one year of alimony for each year you stay home AND permanent alimony of at least 50K a year (so that even if your job is not as lucrative as it was, you can still make ends meet and have a slightly better lifestyle than your current salary). And, since this is not really reality (even though I would love it to be), I'd have a cheating clause added in. If he cheats you get permanent alimony of X% of his income. Alright, I am jumping off my bitter divorced lady soap box and heading out to pick up the kids. If you think you'd like staying at home with your kids, do it! It's the most fulfilling thing I have ever done in my life.[/quote] Have you been living under a rock that you didn't realize the financial consequences of you SAH if you divorced? Posts like these allow WOHMs to criticize SAHMs.[/quote] I didn't think I was living under a rock, but I guess I was. I didn't have any close friends that divorced and my parents have been married almost 60 years. I don't think that it is uncommon to assume that if you give up your career and raise your kids while helping your spouse to excel and advance in his career (by taking pretty much everything else off his plate, planning social events, helping him network, etc), that you would be somehow protected by the courts. I was truly shocked when I went through the divorce process. It doesn't quite seem fair that the working spouse only pays minimal alimony for a couple of years and makes 7 figures in income while the SAHM who now has the kids full-time doesn't even get enough child support to take care of the kids. This set up has to change. It's grossly unfair to SAHMs and as a society, I think we should encourage couples to have one parent stay at home to raise their kids.[/quote] He makes.7 figures and you don't get enough support to pay for the kids? I'd bet you are a HUGE spender. I think as a society we should encourage people not to be dumbasses and give up their careers.[/quote]
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