How to let go of husband eating like crap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That would drive me crazy. DH and I met as active people who value healthy living. Don't think I could have married those habits in the first place. Nothing better than taking an hour run together and completely focusing on an undistracted conversation. Something about exercising and talking leads to the most productive, clear, and respectful communication.

I feel Most bad for your children of you have them. Old age won't be good to him.

You sound insufferable. I'd rather have a Dorito eater!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're probably driving him crazy too. If you don't stop you'll drive him right out of your life. I'm pretty sure he's aware of what he's doing.

If this were a man posting about his wife's eating habits there would be replies screaming CONTROL !! He's controlling your life !

Same thing. If that's the only thing your husband does wrong, count your blessings.

OP here - I realize this. It's not my choice, he's not my child etc. The reason it bothers me is that in the longer run I'll have to deal with a sick etc husband (we're in my 30s now but it always catches up to you eventually)....but I realize my nagging is not helpful and is probably harmful. And my being annoyed by it annoys me so I want to stop

So my main question is how do I stop caring. Whatever it is that used to bother you about your spouse, has anyone successfully been able to figure out a way to just decide to stop the cycle of caring about it / being annoyed with them etc

OP again, I guess to be abundantly my question is not how do I change HIM but how do I change ME. Regardless of the issue

OP, do you have anxiety issues? Getting this upset about something that's having no evident current impact, and all of the impact is in some future hypothetical that may not even come to pass (he might change his ways once his healthy is impacted, or might be one of those lucky people who never see negative impact from these choices) kind of screams anxiety disorder.

No it doesn't. She's looking at the logical conclusion of this. Who wants to be a nursemaid for someone who didn't take care of himself when he could? She has good reason to be annoyed. She is self aware enough to know she can't change him, only herself so she's looking for help on how to do that. She doesn't seem overly anxious at all.

[Anonymous]

OP

Make a big show of paying his life insurance premiums.
Borrow books from the public library on funeral planning, widowhood, and dating as a single. Strew them in strategic places around the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

For most people, eating right will have far more than a MARGINAL impact on your health. All of the latest research is pointing to chronic inflammation as a major trigger of many illnesses and diseases, and diet is the most significant influence on inflammation. I think, for example, that sugar will be the new tobacco/cigarettes.

OMG. Above is such complete and utter bullshit. "The latest research." Yeah, right. I'd like to see some REPUTABLE cites, please. As my semi-retired 66 year old doctor mother says "I've been around the block enough on this diet stuff [over the last 40 years as a doctor] to see it is all trends and none of it has yet (in the 40 years I've been watching) to make any appreciable difference (other than the obvious; don't drink/smoke/be overweight)."

[Anonymous]

My DH is the same way, though more with beer than soda. He's basically healthy and only slightly overweight (10-15 lbs). Drives me crazy though. To be honest, the way I deal with it is to remember all the ways in which I am way, way less than perfect too. Sure, I eat well and have a pretty good body after a couple kids (if I do say so myself!), but I am also judgmental, have a short temper, flirt too much with men who are not my husband, and drive like a maniac. In other words, I have many, many human failings. Reminding myself that I'm not perfect is not fun, but it does help me come back to earth when I start to get angry at DH's flaws.

[Anonymous]

Try shopping just at Farmers Markets, and avoid junk food all together. Beans, seeds, nuts, eggs, fresh variety of different fruits and veggies, try it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

For most people, eating right will have far more than a MARGINAL impact on your health. All of the latest research is pointing to chronic inflammation as a major trigger of many illnesses and diseases, and diet is the most significant influence on inflammation. I think, for example, that sugar will be the new tobacco/cigarettes.

OMG. Above is such complete and utter bullshit. "The latest research." Yeah, right. I'd like to see some REPUTABLE cites, please. As my semi-retired 66 year old doctor mother says "I've been around the block enough on this diet stuff [over the last 40 years as a doctor] to see it is all trends and none of it has yet (in the 40 years I've been watching) to make any appreciable difference (other than the obvious; don't drink/smoke/be overweight)."

OMG. I'm a new poster but you sound totally ignorant and misinformed. Your mother the doctor sees no correlation between healthy eating habits and decreased risk of cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and many other mostly preventable illnesses? Thank goodness she isn't my doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

For most people, eating right will have far more than a MARGINAL impact on your health. All of the latest research is pointing to chronic inflammation as a major trigger of many illnesses and diseases, and diet is the most significant influence on inflammation. I think, for example, that sugar will be the new tobacco/cigarettes.

And this, my dear, is where it becomes clear you are crazy. Step away, sugar police, they are coming for you in their long white coats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

For most people, eating right will have far more than a MARGINAL impact on your health. All of the latest research is pointing to chronic inflammation as a major trigger of many illnesses and diseases, and diet is the most significant influence on inflammation. I think, for example, that sugar will be the new tobacco/cigarettes.

OMG. Above is such complete and utter bullshit. "The latest research." Yeah, right. I'd like to see some REPUTABLE cites, please. As my semi-retired 66 year old doctor mother says "I've been around the block enough on this diet stuff [over the last 40 years as a doctor] to see it is all trends and none of it has yet (in the 40 years I've been watching) to make any appreciable difference (other than the obvious; don't drink/smoke/be overweight)."

OMG. I'm a new poster but you sound totally ignorant and misinformed. Your mother the doctor sees no correlation between healthy eating habits and decreased risk of cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular disease and many other mostly preventable illnesses? Thank goodness she isn't my doctor.

+1. This is why doctors should have nutrition training.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You go read that article about the 103 year old woman saying the secret to a long life is drinking 3 Dr peppers a day. Or the one where the 100 year old man says the secret to health is a daily whiskey. Then you realize that you need a big dose of humility because eating right is only going to have a marginal impact at best on your health, all things considered, as long as your Dh isn't a raging alcoholic or addict.

For most people, eating right will have far more than a MARGINAL impact on your health. All of the latest research is pointing to chronic inflammation as a major trigger of many illnesses and diseases, and diet is the most significant influence on inflammation. I think, for example, that sugar will be the new tobacco/cigarettes.

OMG. Above is such complete and utter bullshit. "The latest research." Yeah, right. I'd like to see some REPUTABLE cites, please. As my semi-retired 66 year old doctor mother says "I've been around the block enough on this diet stuff [over the last 40 years as a doctor] to see it is all trends and none of it has yet (in the 40 years I've been watching) to make any appreciable difference (other than the obvious; don't drink/smoke/be overweight)."

I think it's time your doctor mother fully retire. The world and the research has passed her by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try shopping just at Farmers Markets, and avoid junk food all together. Beans, seeds, nuts, eggs, fresh variety of different fruits and veggies, try it.

I'm not OP, just another PP with an unhealthily-eating husband. It doesn't matter what I buy (or don't) -- he's an adult who is perfectly capable of stopping at the store and buying whatever unhealthy thing he feels like eating (= a 12-pack of Coke, a large bag of Ruffles, and a jar of sour cream and onion dip. Seriously, that's the kind of thing he'll buy.)