Male Acquaintance Claims He Was Raped by His Girlfriend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think he's saying he was passed out - he was "too tired" to resist.

He claims that he woke up with her on top of him, raping him. However, legally, I thought that men were sodomized, meaning penetrated from behind.

He claims that he told her he did not want to have sex with her that night and he did not want to be in a relationship with her. He said "No." Then he said they went from his house, to her house the same night, where she raped him again.

[Anonymous]

This post really highlights the reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward or pursue legal action more often.

Physiological reaction and physiological reaction are totally different things. Both male and female victims can and may experience erection, lubrication, and orgasm during rape, even violent and brutal rapes. It DOES NOT mean they "liked it" or "wanted it". It means that physiologically, their equipment is working. That's it.

This guy, by his own account, was too drunk to consent. The woman could have gotten him to achieve erection by rubbing or stroking him while he was passed out. Guess what - penises love that kind of attention. Again - physiological reaction, not psychological.

He also doesn't specify what kind of sex they had. If you don't think that a woman can sodomize a man, you need to spend more time on the explicit forum. Do you really think a man would tell people if he was coerced into anal sex by a woman half his size? Even if he had been consenting to it in the past, he could not consent given his intoxicated state.

Just because things "don't make sense" don't mean that they aren't true, or don't matter. A lot of assailants are the folks no one would suspect.

If is guy believes he was assaulted, he can access mental health care like ANY assault victim, male or female, and should be encouraged to do so. Males often have a lot of PTSD after assaults simply due to the fact that they have always felt "in power".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post really highlights the reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward or pursue legal action more often.

Physiological reaction and physiological reaction are totally different things. Both male and female victims can and may experience erection, lubrication, and orgasm during rape, even violent and brutal rapes. It DOES NOT mean they "liked it" or "wanted it". It means that physiologically, their equipment is working. That's it.

This guy, by his own account, was too drunk to consent. The woman could have gotten him to achieve erection by rubbing or stroking him while he was passed out. Guess what - penises love that kind of attention. Again - physiological reaction, not psychological.

He also doesn't specify what kind of sex they had. If you don't think that a woman can sodomize a man, you need to spend more time on the explicit forum. Do you really think a man would tell people if he was coerced into anal sex by a woman half his size? Even if he had been consenting to it in the past, he could not consent given his intoxicated state.

Just because things "don't make sense" don't mean that they aren't true, or don't matter. A lot of assailants are the folks no one would suspect.

If is guy believes he was assaulted, he can access mental health care like ANY assault victim, male or female, and should be encouraged to do so. Males often have a lot of PTSD after assaults simply due to the fact that they have always felt "in power".

Am I the only one here who needs to stretch her imagination to envision your scenario?
I think even the most empathetic judge would have to chuckle at such an occurrence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post really highlights the reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward or pursue legal action more often.

Physiological reaction and physiological reaction are totally different things. Both male and female victims can and may experience erection, lubrication, and orgasm during rape, even violent and brutal rapes. It DOES NOT mean they "liked it" or "wanted it". It means that physiologically, their equipment is working. That's it.

This guy, by his own account, was too drunk to consent. The woman could have gotten him to achieve erection by rubbing or stroking him while he was passed out. Guess what - penises love that kind of attention. Again - physiological reaction, not psychological.

He also doesn't specify what kind of sex they had. If you don't think that a woman can sodomize a man, you need to spend more time on the explicit forum. Do you really think a man would tell people if he was coerced into anal sex by a woman half his size? Even if he had been consenting to it in the past, he could not consent given his intoxicated state.

Just because things "don't make sense" don't mean that they aren't true, or don't matter. A lot of assailants are the folks no one would suspect.

If is guy believes he was assaulted, he can access mental health care like ANY assault victim, male or female, and should be encouraged to do so. Males often have a lot of PTSD after assaults simply due to the fact that they have always felt "in power".

Am I the only one here who needs to stretch her imagination to envision your scenario?
I think even the most empathetic judge would have to chuckle at such an occurrence.

Thanks for proving my point. It's attitudes like this that perpetuates "rape culture" for both genders.

And also, thanks for not being a judge or anyone needing to uphold the law without bias.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post really highlights the reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward or pursue legal action more often.

Physiological reaction and physiological reaction are totally different things. Both male and female victims can and may experience erection, lubrication, and orgasm during rape, even violent and brutal rapes. It DOES NOT mean they "liked it" or "wanted it". It means that physiologically, their equipment is working. That's it.

This guy, by his own account, was too drunk to consent. The woman could have gotten him to achieve erection by rubbing or stroking him while he was passed out. Guess what - penises love that kind of attention. Again - physiological reaction, not psychological.

He also doesn't specify what kind of sex they had. If you don't think that a woman can sodomize a man, you need to spend more time on the explicit forum. Do you really think a man would tell people if he was coerced into anal sex by a woman half his size? Even if he had been consenting to it in the past, he could not consent given his intoxicated state.

Just because things "don't make sense" don't mean that they aren't true, or don't matter. A lot of assailants are the folks no one would suspect.

If is guy believes he was assaulted, he can access mental health care like ANY assault victim, male or female, and should be encouraged to do so. Males often have a lot of PTSD after assaults simply due to the fact that they have always felt "in power".

Am I the only one here who needs to stretch her imagination to envision your scenario?
I think even the most empathetic judge would have to chuckle at such an occurrence.

Thanks for proving my point. It's attitudes like this that perpetuates "rape culture" for both genders.

And also, thanks for not being a judge or anyone needing to uphold the law without bias.

Exactly how many men do you know who were raped by women?

[Anonymous]

http://freethoughtblogs.com/hetpat/2014/09/11/the-flesh-is-weak-on-the-erection-equals-consent-rape-myth/


http://laurelhouse.org.au/?page_id=22


http://www.rolereboot.org/sex-and-relationships/details/2012-01-erections-arent-consent-what-the-new-fbi-definitions

http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/sa_male_survivors.html

I don't have time to find scientific, peer reviewed articles for your but I imagine they'd mean little to you anyway. Here's some basic reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman. I have a male acquaintance, distant friends of friends. I have had some rather odd interactions with him at lunches or dinner or happy hour gatherings. I recently learned that a few years ago while serving in the U.S. military as enlisted, he tried to report a rape while he was passed out from too much drinking. At first, I thought he was sexually assaulted or sodomized by another man, and he claimed the authorities refused to take his statement.

However, I have since learned that his claim is that a woman at his house raped him when he was too tired to refuse. He says they then went to her house, where she raped him again. He then claims she used guilt to make her be his girlfriend for months, using the guilt of the rape. He claims he specifically told her he did not want to have sex with her that night and he did not want to be in a relationship with her. However, he claims that he was essentially forced to have a relationship with her as boyfriend/girlfriend because she used the guilt of forcing him to have sex with her that one night, against his will at his house and then later at her house.

I find his rape claim, and his years spent as a victim of rape, very troubling. I also don't believe him. If it matters, this is a man who weighs over 200 pounds and is over six feet tall. My perspective is that perhaps he was victimized as a child, and this event was a trigger event for him. Or, perhaps he was actually the one who raped her, and thought he would claim she raped him instead. Or, he believes his story. Perhaps he doesn't understand the legal definition of rape or sodomy.

What is your opinion? Is this a normal or healthy way for a grown man to process this event?

Not everyone is "all there" psychologically.
Not everyone is "all there" emotionally.
Not everyone is "all there" cognitively
It is indeed very possible that it occurred it is indeed very possible that despite his physical superiority she bullied him psychologically and/or emotionally and it is indeed very possible that cognitively he just didn't know how to handle and/or process the predicaments he found himself in and was thus vulnerable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post really highlights the reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward or pursue legal action more often.

Physiological reaction and physiological reaction are totally different things. Both male and female victims can and may experience erection, lubrication, and orgasm during rape, even violent and brutal rapes. It DOES NOT mean they "liked it" or "wanted it". It means that physiologically, their equipment is working. That's it.

This guy, by his own account, was too drunk to consent. The woman could have gotten him to achieve erection by rubbing or stroking him while he was passed out. Guess what - penises love that kind of attention. Again - physiological reaction, not psychological.

He also doesn't specify what kind of sex they had. If you don't think that a woman can sodomize a man, you need to spend more time on the explicit forum. Do you really think a man would tell people if he was coerced into anal sex by a woman half his size? Even if he had been consenting to it in the past, he could not consent given his intoxicated state.

Just because things "don't make sense" don't mean that they aren't true, or don't matter. A lot of assailants are the folks no one would suspect.

If is guy believes he was assaulted, he can access mental health care like ANY assault victim, male or female, and should be encouraged to do so. Males often have a lot of PTSD after assaults simply due to the fact that they have always felt "in power".

Am I the only one here who needs to stretch her imagination to envision your scenario?
I think even the most empathetic judge would have to chuckle at such an occurrence.

Thanks for proving my point. It's attitudes like this that perpetuates "rape culture" for both genders.

And also, thanks for not being a judge or anyone needing to uphold the law without bias.

Exactly how many men do you know who were raped by women?

Zero?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman. I have a male acquaintance, distant friends of friends. I have had some rather odd interactions with him at lunches or dinner or happy hour gatherings. I recently learned that a few years ago while serving in the U.S. military as enlisted, he tried to report a rape while he was passed out from too much drinking. At first, I thought he was sexually assaulted or sodomized by another man, and he claimed the authorities refused to take his statement.

However, I have since learned that his claim is that a woman at his house raped him when he was too tired to refuse. He says they then went to her house, where she raped him again. He then claims she used guilt to make her be his girlfriend for months, using the guilt of the rape. He claims he specifically told her he did not want to have sex with her that night and he did not want to be in a relationship with her. However, he claims that he was essentially forced to have a relationship with her as boyfriend/girlfriend because she used the guilt of forcing him to have sex with her that one night, against his will at his house and then later at her house.

I find his rape claim, and his years spent as a victim of rape, very troubling. I also don't believe him. If it matters, this is a man who weighs over 200 pounds and is over six feet tall. My perspective is that perhaps he was victimized as a child, and this event was a trigger event for him. Or, perhaps he was actually the one who raped her, and thought he would claim she raped him instead. Or, he believes his story. Perhaps he doesn't understand the legal definition of rape or sodomy.

What is your opinion? Is this a normal or healthy way for a grown man to process this event?

Not everyone is "all there" psychologically.
Not everyone is "all there" emotionally.
Not everyone is "all there" cognitively
It is indeed very possible that it occurred it is indeed very possible that despite his physical superiority she bullied him psychologically and/or emotionally and it is indeed very possible that cognitively he just didn't know how to handle and/or process the predicaments he found himself in and was thus vulnerable.

He should have a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anyone here 'know' the details of the rape of a man by a woman?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This post really highlights the reasons that victims of sexual assault don't come forward or pursue legal action more often.

Physiological reaction and physiological reaction are totally different things. Both male and female victims can and may experience erection, lubrication, and orgasm during rape, even violent and brutal rapes. It DOES NOT mean they "liked it" or "wanted it". It means that physiologically, their equipment is working. That's it.

This guy, by his own account, was too drunk to consent. The woman could have gotten him to achieve erection by rubbing or stroking him while he was passed out. Guess what - penises love that kind of attention. Again - physiological reaction, not psychological.

He also doesn't specify what kind of sex they had. If you don't think that a woman can sodomize a man, you need to spend more time on the explicit forum. Do you really think a man would tell people if he was coerced into anal sex by a woman half his size? Even if he had been consenting to it in the past, he could not consent given his intoxicated state.

Just because things "don't make sense" don't mean that they aren't true, or don't matter. A lot of assailants are the folks no one would suspect.

If is guy believes he was assaulted, he can access mental health care like ANY assault victim, male or female, and should be encouraged to do so. Males often have a lot of PTSD after assaults simply due to the fact that they have always felt "in power".

Am I the only one here who needs to stretch her imagination to envision your scenario?
I think even the most empathetic judge would have to chuckle at such an occurrence.

Thanks for proving my point. It's attitudes like this that perpetuates "rape culture" for both genders.

And also, thanks for not being a judge or anyone needing to uphold the law without bias.

Exactly how many men do you know who were raped by women?

Zero?

I'm PP. I'm not even going to dignify you with an answer because my Response to you is this: I have no men in my PERSONAL life who have said they've been raped by women. That being said, I worked in crisis counselling for a while and it's more common than anyone wants to admit or think about. The actual success in legal terms is pathetic. But the phenomenon is real. Likewise men who get erections and ejaculate being raped / abused by other men, despite not identifying as gay. Something has still been taken from these men.

I'm very sorry that your circle of experience in life makes this so hard for you to understand or empathize with. You probably don't believe in battered men, or emotionally abused men either, but the fact is, they are very real and not so far from your own personal life as y honk. The problem arises in that most men are scared to speak up because of exactly this kind of response.

[Anonymous]

Y honk = you think

[Anonymous]

Someone women get aroused (lubricated) while being raped. It's a physiological reaction they can't control. Does it still count as rape? I'd say so. Same for men and erections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone women get aroused (lubricated) while being raped. It's a physiological reaction they can't control. Does it still count as rape? I'd say so. Same for men and erections.

Yeah, these folks aren't wanting to hear it. Mentioned in 7:22 and I'm getting gouged. No helping the ignorant, which means no helping victims.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This may not be PC to say, but as a Female, I don't see how a man can be raped physically. I mean, wouldn't he have to sustain an erection for the duration of intercourse? And to sustain an erection, wouldn't he have to be aroused and orgasm?

Also, this guy stated he was "passed out drunk."

So how the heck can he remember anything that happened at all if he was out stone cold?

He can't remember anything.
That's where the lack of consent comes in. Just like a woman being penetrated might lubricate, but not consent.

I'm assuming you've never had a male partner with morning wood? That's a physiological thing. And if your partner was drunk, you can bring him to erection physiologically enough to have intercourse.

Even women who have been brutally raped and violently assaulted sometimes report lubrication and even orgasm. It has noting to do with consent.