Financially tough times...okay to ask uncle to help, considering circumstances...?

[Anonymous]

If one of my cousins (who I am not close with) came and asked me for money, I would tell them to go to hell. Why would I give money to someone I have no relationship with?

If you are having financial difficulties, you need to get a job. Like another poster said, work the night shift so that your husband can be home with the kids. Lots of moms do this.

[Anonymous]

You really should not ask. You seem to feel like this money is owed to you and your parents in some way but it isn't. He borrowed money 30 years ago from dead people. It doesn't get collected years later by you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you get a job working the night shift so you don't have to worry about child care? CVS is open 24 hours and could always use cashiers

This. I have friends who work in shifts so they don't have to pay for childcare. 1 works days the other nights and weekends.

[Anonymous]

You sound extremely entitled. Did it ever occur to you that your grandparents willingly have him the money?
You don't just go asking rich relatives for money because they are rich.

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

No. Get a job. Neither one of you has a full time job! That's insane.

[Anonymous]

Can you ask your uncle to help position you and your dh to get jobs using his resources, network or business? He doesn't owe you that, but I would do that for you if you were my niece.

[Anonymous]

I'm not getting why posters are saying that op seems entitled. First, she asked for opinions, she hasn't sctually asked her uncle for money. Also, it is typical, customary, whatever you want to call it that parents leave their money evenly divided among their children. Further to that, if I were to loan one of my kids a large sum of money, I would either expect it repaid or deduct it off his future inheritence in order that I treat my children equally. Now, I agree that there is probably more to this family story than op knows (there always is), and op especially since your own father is not bothered by what happened, I do not think you should ask your uncle for the money. If anyone wanted to discuss this with your uncle, it should be your father, and he does not seem inclined. One last thought(s), if your father were to approach your uncle and if your uncle did give him a sum of money, who is to say that your parents would give it to you AND if your father had been given the same sum of money by his parents many years ago, who is to say that he would have grown it the same way your uncle did.

[Anonymous]

I couldn't finish your post OP because your gross sense of entitlement and desire to find a target because your life isn't working out financially is just gross and makes me feel dirty. Your uncle owes you nothing. Your grandparents decision to give their son $150k was their decision to make. You didn't lose your birthright

[Anonymous]

Hold up - you had a job but quit?? How does that makes sense? We're the hours exactly the same as dh's jib?

[Anonymous]

OP, you seem distressed enough to ask for money but not distressed enough to actually go out and get a job. I'm sorry that your life has gone the way of the poors, instead of the way of the riches, but well: welcome to real life. No one has put you in this situation other than your sense of entitlement. When most. people need money, they get out and earn it.

If your husband has only been working part time for a year, certainly you understand being SAHM is a luxury you actually shouldn't be affording? If he can't find work, you should put on your heels and get out pounding the pavement yourself. You latch together part time jobs to make a full time job. You work whatever job allows you to make money, even if that means working overnights, evenings, weekends. If childcare doesn't fit into this, then you or your husband make the availabity at one of your jobs work around the other persons, so you can ensure you have someone to care for your children.

As another PP noted, if your grandparents were so wealthy, that $150,000 may or may not have made any difference at the end of their lives. It doesn't appear you were to be left with much money as inheritance for yourself if their banks were drained by their end of life care. That was probably their plan. If it was your plan to always get a good chunk of their money, then now you understand that life doesn't always go that way, and why you have to make your own money in life. Counting on an inheritance is sick, IMHO only. Are your grandparents only worth their money?

The deal was between your uncle and grandparents. And that's it. Let it rest. You have no personal stake in this AT ALL. You can find him despicable for not visiting or caring for his parents at the end of their lives, but at the same time - holding resentment for money that has (again) nothing to do with you is a stupid, ignorant waste of time, emotion, and energy. May I suggest therapy to get over yourself?

[Anonymous]

What? Go back to a restaurant. I'm a SAHM (kind of), but work from 6 pm til closing 4-5 nights a week.
Borrowing money doesn't solve your problems.
Also, I don't believe your uncle owes you anything. And have you DH work brunch on weekends. Brunch servers make good money- $200-$300 a shift.