Financially tough times...okay to ask uncle to help, considering circumstances...?

[Anonymous]

I agree with what was said above. You have no relationship with this uncle. It is not his responsibility to keep your family afloat. Your husband needs to get another part-time job, even low paying until he gets a full time position. You need to get a part-time position, even low paying or pick up more students when he is not working and find a way to make it work. If your income is that low, go to social services and apply for food stamps, Wic (if young kids), utility assistance, etc.

[Anonymous]

Also, some of the story does not make sense. Once your grandma spend her estate, medicaid should have picked up the nursing home tab if she had no money. Your parents could easily pay for clothing, and a lot of extras as we do my MIL, but she is in a nursing home under medicaid, which basically takes her social security check.

[Anonymous]

I think it would be a tough sell for the uncle, you are not working, your husband is only working part-time and this has been going on for over a year. Plus you have minimal to no relationship with him.
I can't imagine what you would even say?

[Anonymous]

uncle wouldn't pay for his mothers care

Medicaid would have paid for her care - if she had no assets.
My guess is family didn't want to move her to this option.

Don't go after your uncle for money.

[Anonymous]

No, you have no right to any of your uncle's money, not a penny. There is nothing else to say about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you have no right to any of your uncle's money, not a penny. There is nothing else to say about it.

+1. Sorry, OP.

Also, if that 150k had been paid back, it would not not necessarily change your current situation and it wouldn't necessariky have become your DH's inheritance. You need to let go of that, for your own sake.

Ask your uncle for money if you need to, but not because he owes you anything -- he truly doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Consider you don't know the whole story- your parents have managed to 'forgive' your Uncle, so maybe you should let it go. He's not the reason for your less than ideal financial situation.
If you do ask him for money, you're going to have to try very hard to hide your obvious contempt for him.

[Anonymous]

Get a job OP. And your DH should get one too. Full time, not part time. Or move in with your parents. You can't afford the life you are living so make changes.

[Anonymous]

OP you are trash

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are trash

Agree

[Anonymous]

This doesn't make sense.
If your parents had also "borrowed" 150k and started a failed business, bought a house that didn't appreciate much and they didn't keep up, or otherwise spent it on themselves without investing, you would still have nothing. You are presuming your parents would have also made the money multiply, that is simply not known.
Also, as PP's have pointed out, when an elderly and ill person goes through their own money, it is considered a "spend down" and they are eligible for Medicaid. You either got the story wrong, or your parents chose to private pay which seems unlikely since you say they don't have means to help you and private nursing care is $10-12k/month.
I hope you can work through this altered reality you have created, truly, and work towards helping your family succeed.

[Anonymous]

My sister has the same thought process as you. She spent all her saved money and now expects me to help out her daughter financially. I don't feel I owe her anything.

BTW, my husband and I have no family. If we fall, we have to get up by ourselves. You do too. No one said life was easy.

Get over that jealousy and concentrate on getting a job. It's your only way out of your distress.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a loser and karma is biting you back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This doesn't make sense.
If your parents had also "borrowed" 150k and started a failed business, bought a house that didn't appreciate much and they didn't keep up, or otherwise spent it on themselves without investing, you would still have nothing. You are presuming your parents would have also made the money multiply, that is simply not known.
Also, as PP's have pointed out, when an elderly and ill person goes through their own money, it is considered a "spend down" and they are eligible for Medicaid. You either got the story wrong, or your parents chose to private pay which seems unlikely since you say they don't have means to help you and private nursing care is $10-12k/month.
I hope you can work through this altered reality you have created, truly, and work towards helping your family succeed.

That's not what a spend down is. It can be very confusing, because often people must spend their resources, and show receipts to account for it, to get themselves under the resource limit to become eligible for Medicaid. But if somebody tells you they have a "spend down," that's NOT what they are referring to (or if so, they are using the term incorrectly in Medicare-speak). If somebody tells you they "have a spend down," it means they are actually over the monthly INCOME limit for Medicaid, and therefore are required to incur a determined amount of medical bills each month before Medicaid will kick in and start paying.

I'm not even sure if this applies to OP's situation, but just wanted to point this out because it's so often used incorrectly.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. People are mean.