HELP - sibling similarities in IQ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be snarky, but you are "sad" about an FSIQ of 135!!!

+1
I'm sorry that one of your children is not as gifted as the other. Try not to let the younger one know that you love the older one more.

Truth be told, second child is my secret favorite[u]. I'm sad FOR HIM that he won't get to be part of the program. He knows about it, wants to take part, and I believe he'd do well.

Truth be told, I'm sad for your first child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first child must have significantly low processing scores, as my dc has a FSIQ a couple points lower and a higher GAI.

May I assume that your second child has higher processing scores than the first? This child will likely fare better in school and may even "seem" more intelligent in a classroom setting.

I understand the second child wants to do what the first child does, but you can likely find a program that is a better fit and better fits his interests.

And I really hope you didn't tell either one of them their scores. No good can come from that.

Yes, first child has a huge processing speed deficit. Second child can manage much more easily in the classroom and is very focused whereas first child is not.

I have no intention of telling either their scores, but they'll be able to figure out ballpark just based on inclusion in/exclusion from this program, if they ever get savvy enough to look up parameters online (like as high school students; not right now). They are both acutely aware that the program is for the "super smart" kids, so second son will be feeling like he is not smart if he didn't get into the program. He's six, so it's hard to explain that 99th percentile is great. What he internalizes is that he didn't do well enough and isn't smart enough.

Just tell your youngest that AAP is NOT about being smart, there are SMART KIDS in every class, it's about doing more work in/outside class. Save your older kids math worksheets and give them to your youngest child at the right time. Talk to your AART about level 3 services, do they see the kid doing the work where GenEd students (smart kids btw) join AAP class during mathtime.

And if this is a major drama for you (a luxury problem for most folks), take this conversation offline and speak w/ the AART and/or a psychologist who can give you some professional advice. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Oldest has 140 IQ, next child 116. So what?

[Anonymous]

10:22 Here.. and BTW, the child with the lower IQ has qualities that will serve very well to propel her forward in life. In my opinion, unless your child is very mature, socially and emotionally secure, and lastly, well-regulated, high IQ is a detriment almost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be snarky, but you are "sad" about an FSIQ of 135!!!

+1
I'm sorry that one of your children is not as gifted as the other. Try not to let the younger one know that you love the older one more.

Truth be told, second child is my secret favorite[u]. I'm sad FOR HIM that he won't get to be part of the program. He knows about it, wants to take part, and I believe he'd do well.

Truth be told, I'm sad for your first child.

Go for it. Cry your eyes out. I clearly tell my firstborn how little I love him and make sure to treat them very, very differently. Or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first child must have significantly low processing scores, as my dc has a FSIQ a couple points lower and a higher GAI.

May I assume that your second child has higher processing scores than the first? This child will likely fare better in school and may even "seem" more intelligent in a classroom setting.

I understand the second child wants to do what the first child does, but you can likely find a program that is a better fit and better fits his interests.

And I really hope you didn't tell either one of them their scores. No good can come from that.

Yes, first child has a huge processing speed deficit. Second child can manage much more easily in the classroom and is very focused whereas first child is not.

I have no intention of telling either their scores, but they'll be able to figure out ballpark just based on inclusion in/exclusion from this program, if they ever get savvy enough to look up parameters online (like as high school students; not right now). They are both acutely aware that the program is for the "super smart" kids, so second son will be feeling like he is not smart if he didn't get into the program. He's six, so it's hard to explain that 99th percentile is great. What he internalizes is that he didn't do well enough and isn't smart enough.

Just tell your youngest that AAP is NOT about being smart, there are SMART KIDS in every class, it's about doing more work in/outside class. Save your older kids math worksheets and give them to your youngest child at the right time. Talk to your AART about level 3 services, do they see the kid doing the work where GenEd students (smart kids btw) join AAP class during mathtime.

And if this is a major drama for you (a luxury problem for most folks), take this conversation offline and speak w/ the AART and/or a psychologist who can give you some professional advice. Good luck!

+1000
This is so true. AAP is not just for the "super smart kids," as OP seems to think. A lot of kids in AAP are perfectly average and are there for various reasons (parent referral? appeal?). Letting your child think AAP is only for the very smartest is such a terrible thing to do. PP is right, there are very smart kids in Gen Ed as well. AAP is not neuroscience.

Personally, I think the whole AAP/Gen Ed division is an incredibly unhealthy dynamic to set up in elementary schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first child must have significantly low processing scores, as my dc has a FSIQ a couple points lower and a higher GAI.

May I assume that your second child has higher processing scores than the first? This child will likely fare better in school and may even "seem" more intelligent in a classroom setting.

I understand the second child wants to do what the first child does, but you can likely find a program that is a better fit and better fits his interests.

And I really hope you didn't tell either one of them their scores. No good can come from that.

Yes, first child has a huge processing speed deficit. Second child can manage much more easily in the classroom and is very focused whereas first child is not.

I have no intention of telling either their scores, but they'll be able to figure out ballpark just based on inclusion in/exclusion from this program, if they ever get savvy enough to look up parameters online (like as high school students; not right now). They are both acutely aware that the program is for the "super smart" kids, so second son will be feeling like he is not smart if he didn't get into the program. He's six, so it's hard to explain that 99th percentile is great. What he internalizes is that he didn't do well enough and isn't smart enough.

Just tell your youngest that AAP is NOT about being smart, there are SMART KIDS in every class, it's about doing more work in/outside class. Save your older kids math worksheets and give them to your youngest child at the right time. Talk to your AART about level 3 services, do they see the kid doing the work where GenEd students (smart kids btw) join AAP class during mathtime.

And if this is a major drama for you (a luxury problem for most folks), take this conversation offline and speak w/ the AART and/or a psychologist who can give you some professional advice. Good luck!

+1000
This is so true. AAP is not just for the "super smart kids," as OP seems to think. A lot of kids in AAP are perfectly average and are there for various reasons (parent referral? appeal?). Letting your child think AAP is only for the very smartest is such a terrible thing to do. PP is right, there are very smart kids in Gen Ed as well. AAP is not neuroscience.

Personally, I think the whole AAP/Gen Ed division is an incredibly unhealthy dynamic to set up in elementary schools.

Based on OP's first post, this is not about FCPS AAP. It's about some other program that uses IQ as the cut-off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first child must have significantly low processing scores, as my dc has a FSIQ a couple points lower and a higher GAI.

May I assume that your second child has higher processing scores than the first? This child will likely fare better in school and may even "seem" more intelligent in a classroom setting.

I understand the second child wants to do what the first child does, but you can likely find a program that is a better fit and better fits his interests.

And I really hope you didn't tell either one of them their scores. No good can come from that.

Yes, first child has a huge processing speed deficit. Second child can manage much more easily in the classroom and is very focused whereas first child is not.

I have no intention of telling either their scores, but they'll be able to figure out ballpark just based on inclusion in/exclusion from this program, if they ever get savvy enough to look up parameters online (like as high school students; not right now). They are both acutely aware that the program is for the "super smart" kids, so second son will be feeling like he is not smart if he didn't get into the program. He's six, so it's hard to explain that 99th percentile is great. What he internalizes is that he didn't do well enough and isn't smart enough.

Just tell your youngest that AAP is NOT about being smart, there are SMART KIDS in every class, it's about doing more work in/outside class. Save your older kids math worksheets and give them to your youngest child at the right time. Talk to your AART about level 3 services, do they see the kid doing the work where GenEd students (smart kids btw) join AAP class during mathtime.

And if this is a major drama for you (a luxury problem for most folks), take this conversation offline and speak w/ the AART and/or a psychologist who can give you some professional advice. Good luck!

+1000
This is so true. AAP is not just for the "super smart kids," as OP seems to think. A lot of kids in AAP are perfectly average and are there for various reasons (parent referral? appeal?). Letting your child think AAP is only for the very smartest is such a terrible thing to do. PP is right, there are very smart kids in Gen Ed as well. AAP is not neuroscience.

Personally, I think the whole AAP/Gen Ed division is an incredibly unhealthy dynamic to set up in elementary schools.

Based on OP's first post, this is not about FCPS AAP. It's about some other program that uses IQ as the cut-off.

Sorry I misread this as an AAP thread - maybe because this is an DC AAP FORUM and who really knows OP lives in fairfax county or iceland?

OP - I suspect you and your DC will get over it and maybe your DC will use this as a motivation exercise not to be smarter but to learn and explore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be snarky, but you are "sad" about an FSIQ of 135!!!

+1
I'm sorry that one of your children is not as gifted as the other. Try not to let the younger one know that you love the older one more.

Truth be told, second child is my secret favorite. I'm sad FOR HIM that he won't get to be part of the program. He knows about it, wants to take part, and I believe he'd do well.

Nice.

[Anonymous]

My kids are about 15 points apart (130 and 115), according to the IQ tests. They both have their strengths and weaknesses, but the lower IQ has LDs and anxiety and struggles a lot more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your first child must have significantly low processing scores, as my dc has a FSIQ a couple points lower and a higher GAI.

May I assume that your second child has higher processing scores than the first? This child will likely fare better in school and may even "seem" more intelligent in a classroom setting.

I understand the second child wants to do what the first child does, but you can likely find a program that is a better fit and better fits his interests.

And I really hope you didn't tell either one of them their scores. No good can come from that.

then maybe this is the opportunity to start teaching him how to deal with disappointment
Yes, first child has a huge processing speed deficit. Second child can manage much more easily in the classroom and is very focused whereas first child is not.

I have no intention of telling either their scores, but they'll be able to figure out ballpark just based on inclusion in/exclusion from this program, if they ever get savvy enough to look up parameters online (like as high school students; not right now). They are both acutely aware that the program is for the "super smart" kids, so second son will be feeling like he is not smart if he didn't get into the program. He's six, so it's hard to explain that 99th percentile is great. What he internalizes is that he didn't do well enough and isn't smart enough.

[Anonymous]

part of growing up is learning how to deal with disappointment if your kid is as amazing as you make me out to be surely he will have other opportunities to shine

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm worried Child 2 did not score as well as he could have, but if I hear from several of you that such a significant variation is not unusual, I may just accept it for what it is and move on. This sucks, though, as the program is awesome and Child 2 would love to be part of it. I am super sad for him.

Not trying to be snarky, but why are you worried? Is it because he is not getting into the program or is it because you feel there may be a particular reason he did not score as high? I too have read that many siblings have are within a 10pt range on IQ scores. But they are just 13pts apart, which does not seem that unusual. I have also read that 1st born children tend to have higher IQ scores (which is not the case with my own children).

This is the real problem here. Why are you so invested in this kid's IQ? He's very smart. He isn't profoundly gifted, but he is gifted. With that IQ, he can do any academic major he wants to do. It this were my kid, I would say "Oh, well." There are tons of other awesome, wonderful things your kid could be doing. Find them. Do them.

[Anonymous]

What's the program?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm worried Child 2 did not score as well as he could have, but if I hear from several of you that such a significant variation is not unusual, I may just accept it for what it is and move on. This sucks, though, as the program is awesome and Child 2 would love to be part of it. I am super sad for him.

Not trying to be snarky, but why are you worried? Is it because he is not getting into the program or is it because you feel there may be a particular reason he did not score as high? I too have read that many siblings have are within a 10pt range on IQ scores. But they are just 13pts apart, which does not seem that unusual. I have also read that 1st born children tend to have higher IQ scores (which is not the case with my own children).

This is the real problem here. Why are you so invested in this kid's IQ? He's very smart. He isn't profoundly gifted, but he is gifted. With that IQ, he can do any academic major he wants to do. It this were my kid, I would say "Oh, well." There are tons of other awesome, wonderful things your kid could be doing. Find them. Do them.

A certain number score is required as threshold for program. That's what this is about - an educational opportunity. I'm not worried that he's not smart. He is. My concern is related to missing out on a program because of firm entry requirement score.