How to help unathletic son

[Anonymous]

Why not practice with him yourself? That's probably what a dad would do. He's 5, you can take him!

[Anonymous]

Team sports are not for everyone. Try swimming in the summers and tennis as well. Tennis can be played indoors in winter too. You may find he's better at teamless sports. And if it's just not working for him, maybe you should help him focus on his other areas where he has strengths.

[Anonymous]

Oh, please. I hate team sports. I was forced to play them and HATED EVERY MINUTE. Then I went to college, realized I could live my own life, and do what I enjoy. Your kid likes swimming, so let him swim. I'm guessing that worked okay for olympian Michael Phelps.

[Anonymous]

Oh, please. I hate team sports. I was forced to play them and HATED EVERY MINUTE. Then I went to college, realized I could live my own life, and do what I enjoy. Your kid likes swimming, so let him swim. I'm guessing that worked okay for olympian Michael Phelps.

I'm definitely going to let him keep doing swim and tae kwon do, he likes them and they are good exercise. I don't expect him to become an Olympian, or even want him to be a talented athlete. But I would like him to play with the other boys at recess without it being embarrassing for him, or have him sit out all the time by himself because he hates it. It's not that big an issue now, because some of the boys are still into the playground equipment, but I suspect that as he gets older, recess will become more about sports.

[Anonymous]

I think the bigger question is how do you feel about sports? If, as PPs suggest, you're comfortable bringing a soccer ball to the park and kicking it with him, he'll improve. He's unlikely to be embarrassed to play with you, and it'll give him a chance to get comfortable with how a ball handles and build skills. If you're too embarrassed, that's a different question. But my kid is that age too, and although they play sports at recess all the time, it turns out that few of them know the rules and they'd don't follow them during recess...he won't be at as much of a disadvantage as he may fear, and the gap at this age can probably be overcome by confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Oh, please. I hate team sports. I was forced to play them and HATED EVERY MINUTE. Then I went to college, realized I could live my own life, and do what I enjoy. Your kid likes swimming, so let him swim. I'm guessing that worked okay for olympian Michael Phelps.

I'm definitely going to let him keep doing swim and tae kwon do, he likes them and they are good exercise. I don't expect him to become an Olympian, or even want him to be a talented athlete. But I would like him to play with the other boys at recess without it being embarrassing for him, or have him sit out all the time by himself because he hates it. It's not that big an issue now, because some of the boys are still into the playground equipment, but I suspect that as he gets older, recess will become more about sports.

19:27 This is why we continued with sports. Just play with him yourself and have him do an extra clinic. He won't be competitive, but will be able to play well enough at recess and will develop more coordination.

[Anonymous]

I think the bigger question is how do you feel about sports? If, as PPs suggest, you're comfortable bringing a soccer ball to the park and kicking it with him, he'll improve. He's unlikely to be embarrassed to play with you, and it'll give him a chance to get comfortable with how a ball handles and build skills. If you're too embarrassed, that's a different question.

Sure, I'm happy to play with him - I'm just not very good at team sports (I'm a runner, but not very coordinated). But I'm willing to try.

[Anonymous]

I never liked team sports because I'm not competitive. I prefer individual sports. I was always picked last for teams, and now as an adult, it doesn't matter. Just let him do individual sports if that's what he prefers or is there some sort of sports skills class he can take that teaches skills for several sports?

[Anonymous]

My very uncoordinated, non-sport playing brother just sold his tech company for $$$$'s at the ripe old age of 23. He kicked as$ in his own way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Presumably if OP were to seek out a male mentor for her son she would not choose a drunk asshole.

OP here - you keep suggesting that I get him a male mentor, but how? I don't know tons of men anxious to mentor a 5 year old boy. I mean, my male friends are perfectly nice to him, and will occasionally invite him to events with their own families, but they have their own lives/obligations and aren't looking to take anything extra on.

Just ignore the PP, OP. S/he seems determined to bully you and make you feel bad about an unfortunate situation you can't help.

Can you hire a sports tutor, of sorts? Is there such a thing? Does anyone know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I suggest you find a male mentor that he can spend some time with, doing some of these physical things that others have mentioned. Rock climbing, hiking, going to ball games and learning the basic rules so that you can talk the fan talk -- he needs to learn some of this

OP here. He spends time with my dad, who is a male mentor to him and watches soccer and baseball with him on TV. But my dad is 70 years old and disabled, so he can't actually play any sports with DS.

As great a guy I am sure your dad is I don't know is a 70 year old disabled man is the best mentor for your 5 year old.

My boys look to me. I was a Division 1 soccer player. I ran track. I run marathons. I am super athletic.

Their dad works long hours so I was the one playing sports at the park with them. I'm the one that drives them (and watches) their sports practice. I'm the one that gives pointers, listens to team dynamics, etc.

My dad (72) comes to all of the boys' games and knows the sport (and all the clubs, fields, game) better than all of us. He coached travel soccer for 10 years. He gives them the best advice and they really look up to him. He's the first one they go to after a game.

My Dh is super fit, very athletic but didn't play team sports. He did wrestle in HS, body-builder, etc. he does coach one team//but please do not distegard a mothers or grandfather's influence in sports

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I think the bigger question is how do you feel about sports? If, as PPs suggest, you're comfortable bringing a soccer ball to the park and kicking it with him, he'll improve. He's unlikely to be embarrassed to play with you, and it'll give him a chance to get comfortable with how a ball handles and build skills. If you're too embarrassed, that's a different question.

Sure, I'm happy to play with him - I'm just not very good at team sports (I'm a runner, but not very coordinated). But I'm willing to try.

Try to make it fun. I'm getting stressed just reading this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not practice with him yourself? That's probably what a dad would do. He's 5, you can take him!

I think this is good advice. Even if the boy never ends up playing team sports, it is really important to develop basic skills and body awareness.

Also, depending on where you live, you may find "sports skills" classes and camps through parks and rec.

I hate to say it, but this is something I see in single mom families more often than not. Our neighbors are like this. Kid is getting a bit chunky even at age 7. Mom says "I've never thought of DS as athletic" but does squat with him in terms of getting him outside, kicking a ball around, etc.

It is true that not everyone is born with equal athletic gifts, but you are shortchanging your kid if you don't make an honest effort. I don't think you necessarily need a man in the picture, I personally know a couple who never get off their couches. But someone needs to play with your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok he does not do team sports. He is in two activities. Plenty.

+1

Get over the herd mentality, OP.