How to help unathletic son

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I suggest you find a male mentor that he can spend some time with, doing some of these physical things that others have mentioned. Rock climbing, hiking, going to ball games and learning the basic rules so that you can talk the fan talk -- he needs to learn some of this

OP here. He spends time with my dad, who is a male mentor to him and watches soccer and baseball with him on TV. But my dad is 70 years old and disabled, so he can't actually play any sports with DS.

As great a guy I am sure your dad is I don't know is a 70 year old disabled man is the best mentor for your 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Same situation here with my son. Luckily I grew up with brothers and we played football and baseball/softball when we were young so I can still hold my own. We play pickup games where I am often quarterback or pitcher. He has improved dramatically just by us throwing and playing catch! And, he gets to to say his mom can throw a spiral than some dads.

Whereas before kids at school did not want to play ball with him because he couldn't catch, he is now able to catch and throw and is learning the rules and strategy and team stats from his friends at school. He is thrilled and his confidence is growing.

Op, just get out and play ball with him. He will look back and be so thankful for the outstanding mom you are!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hate to say this but the "Dad is not in the picture" statement is concerning. This could grow into a problem with his self-identity without some male influence and assistance. It's not a big deal at all that he doesn't like team sports per se, but believe me, we live in a world that places a high value on the independence, confidence and competence that comes from doing some sort of physical activity and doing it well. You will find as he gets older that the dads tend to guide this. I suggest you find a male mentor that he can spend some time with, doing some of these physical things that others have mentioned. Rock climbing, hiking, going to ball games and learning the basic rules so that you can talk the fan talk -- he needs to learn some of this.

Nonsense! That is such outdated thinking. What of the two mom families that are raising happy, healthy sons?!

Let you son join any sport he wants and emphasis the team aspect of it and not the skill. My DD loves to dance and (god love her) she is the WORST dancer in her class. She just says that she knows she isn't great at this but she loves it and certainly won'y get any better by NOT doing it. Her attitude makes me happier than if she was the next prima ballerina!!! It is great to love something, try your best and still enjoy your progress - even if you stink.

My little brother, who was a very gifted athlete always talked fondly about the boys who really tried hard even when he was very young (like six and seven). He never made fun of anyone who tried hard.

Not outdated at all. How do you know that young sons of lesbians are always "happy" about that?

Because my sister and her wife have raised two very happy, healthy boys - now in high school and college and both athletes. You are stale, PP, and old. Times have changed.

Not so much about athletic ability, but I'm sure they have had male influences along they way.

I know plenty of lesbian couples who purposely find male role models for their sons ( and daughters) I know gay couples that find female role models for their daughters ( and sons) same is true for hetero single parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a very uncoordinated little boy and my mother got me into running with her. I started cross country in middle school and went on to track in high school. I ran marathons all through college and grad school. Running is a great! No one can say I'm not an athlete even though I still suck at throwing a ball.

BTW - To the old poster questioning lesbian parents of boys: I would have been better off with no father than the asshole, drunk father I got. I would have preferred two women like my mother to raise me. Having a dick doesn't make you a role model for your boy.

[Anonymous]

Parent child activities work really well for younger kids. There are some through the rec program and kidball runs a nice baseball and basketball program. There are also classes specifically for somewhat uncoordinated children. Try http://www.playsportsplus.org/. We also used to watch youtube videos to learn moves that we didn't even understand ourselves. We decided to pick one sport that a lot of kids played at school and focus on other things with him the rest of the time. It's worked well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's ok he does not do team sports. He is in two activities. Plenty.

Agree. We have two uncoordinated DSs and dad is in the picture (and uncoordinated too). No one in this family enjoys team sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a very uncoordinated little boy and my mother got me into running with her. I started cross country in middle school and went on to track in high school. I ran marathons all through college and grad school. Running is a great! No one can say I'm not an athlete even though I still suck at throwing a ball.

BTW - To the old poster questioning lesbian parents of boys: I would have been better off with no father than the asshole, drunk father I got. I would have preferred two women like my mother to raise me. Having a dick doesn't make you a role model for your boy.

My brother would agree with you regarding our father as well. We all would have been better off without him especially my brother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's ok he does not do team sports. He is in two activities. Plenty.

Agree. We have two uncoordinated DSs and dad is in the picture (and uncoordinated too). No one in this family enjoys team sports.

+1. Also agree with the other poster that at this age there's no need to worry about whether he's good at it. My kid was in soccer from 5-10, never particularly good at it but he learned some stuff and now he does other things.

[Anonymous]

My sons favorite sport is chess.

His brother skateboards, snowboards, plays soccer, does taekwondo, swims and plays tennis.

Ive never cared that one of my children considers chess a sport. He also does partakes of origami and competitive math.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sons favorite sport is chess.

His brother skateboards, snowboards, plays soccer, does taekwondo, swims and plays tennis.

Ive never cared that one of my children considers chess a sport. He also does partakes of origami and competitive math.

Is chess a sport? It's a game. Car racing is considered a sport and that doesn't depend on athletic ability so why wouldn't a mind game like chess be considered a sport?

And there are chess teams at DD's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a very uncoordinated little boy and my mother got me into running with her. I started cross country in middle school and went on to track in high school. I ran marathons all through college and grad school. Running is a great! No one can say I'm not an athlete even though I still suck at throwing a ball.

BTW - To the old poster questioning lesbian parents of boys: I would have been better off with no father than the asshole, drunk father I got. I would have preferred two women like my mother to raise me. Having a dick doesn't make you a role model for your boy.

My brother would agree with you regarding our father as well. We all would have been better off without him especially my brother.

You are speaking about extreme, and very unfortunate scenarios. Thankfully this is not the norm. Presumably if OP were to seek out a male mentor for her son she would not choose a drunk asshole. The statement still stands that boys in general are better off with a male role model, for precisely the situation that OP is describing. There are some things that mama simply can't fix.

[Anonymous]

Some people don't like team sports. Some people are uncoordinated. It's ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was a very uncoordinated little boy and my mother got me into running with her. I started cross country in middle school and went on to track in high school. I ran marathons all through college and grad school. Running is a great! No one can say I'm not an athlete even though I still suck at throwing a ball.

BTW - To the old poster questioning lesbian parents of boys: I would have been better off with no father than the asshole, drunk father I got. I would have preferred two women like my mother to raise me. Having a dick doesn't make you a role model for your boy.

My brother would agree with you regarding our father as well. We all would have been better off without him especially my brother.

You are speaking about extreme, and very unfortunate scenarios. Thankfully this is not the norm. Presumably if OP were to seek out a male mentor for her son she would not choose a drunk asshole. The statement still stands that boys in general are better off with a male role model, for precisely the situation that OP is describing. There are some things that mama simply can't fix.

So if her son had a male role model, he would be more athletic? He would be more coordinated?

[Anonymous]

Presumably if OP were to seek out a male mentor for her son she would not choose a drunk asshole.

OP here - you keep suggesting that I get him a male mentor, but how? I don't know tons of men anxious to mentor a 5 year old boy. I mean, my male friends are perfectly nice to him, and will occasionally invite him to events with their own families, but they have their own lives/obligations and aren't looking to take anything extra on.

[Anonymous]

Put him in a waldorf school.