Inlaws who are anti-vax

[Anonymous]

Your baby will be exposed to people who are not vaccinated unless you keep him locked up at home. The grocery store, the school, the bookstore, play groups, etc. If you or your spouse work, you are around other colleagues that may not be vaccinated. In fact, even some of the people who are vaccinated may not form proper immunity to the diseases that they are being vaccinated for (they may have weak immune systems or auto-immune issues that prevent their bodies from creating antibodies).

I don't say all this to frighten you. It's just to make you realize that there is always a certain amount of risk. You have to be careful with a newborn, but at the same time realize that your baby's actual risk is really quite low.

Personally, I would let the in-laws see the baby. Nonetheless, it is your baby and your choice. Do what you are comfortable with.

[Anonymous]

I would not allow your inlaws to visit until the full 6 months. They are knowingly putting your baby at risk, and they have no right to see the child if they care so little for the well-being.

To the pp with the sick father, please don't be too concerned. This is why we need herd immunity. When there are legitimate reasons for not getting a vaccine (too young, ill, prior bad reactions), you need to be protected. Your father is in the same class as a newborn baby. Please don't hesitate in letting him see the child. I know that it is hard. Our child had a bad reaction to the flu shot once, such that the doctors have all recommended that she skip future ones. It just makes us all the quicker to get our own.

[Anonymous]

OP were your inlaws vaccinated for Measles? Outbreak from Disney case is ongoing. I am not suggesting your inlaws will be affected by that case, but it is a reminder that measles is super contagious!

Of course your baby will be exposed to people while out and about. But those people are less likely to be holding, touching and kissing your unprotected baby.

Don't wait for your first ped visit for your husband to tell them they can't see newborn until X date. They may already have bought their tickets or whatever to see the baby. Send lots of videos and pictures.

[Anonymous]

The risk is low. You can carry pertussis even if you're vaccinated for it anyway. Also, it's inappropriate to dictate risky (yes, there are risks to vaccines!) medical procedures to people.

You're overthinking this. Majorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your baby will be exposed to people who are not vaccinated unless you keep him locked up at home. The grocery store, the school, the bookstore, play groups, etc. If you or your spouse work, you are around other colleagues that may not be vaccinated. In fact, even some of the people who are vaccinated may not form proper immunity to the diseases that they are being vaccinated for (they may have weak immune systems or auto-immune issues that prevent their bodies from creating antibodies).

I don't say all this to frighten you. It's just to make you realize that there is always a certain amount of risk. You have to be careful with a newborn, but at the same time realize that your baby's actual risk is really quite low.

Personally, I would let the in-laws see the baby. Nonetheless, it is your baby and your choice. Do what you are comfortable with.

+100

You really have no idea who's vaccinated and who isn't.

And please stop calling people "anti-vax" just because they won't do what you tell them to.

[Anonymous]

OP here - they have never been vaccinated for anything, including measles. I'm not using the term anti-vaxxer to be provocative. They are exactly that - opposed to any and all vaccinations, for all people. What other term would I use??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - they have never been vaccinated for anything, including measles. I'm not using the term anti-vaxxer to be provocative. They are exactly that - opposed to any and all vaccinations, for all people. What other term would I use??

You're exaggerating. I've never met someone who chooses not to vaccinate their children, but also advocates no vaccines for anyone. Most of them advocate choice.

And yes, I vaccinate my children.

[Anonymous]

When my DD was born slightly prematurely during flu season the pediatrician suggested I limit contact with everyone except one or two friends I trusted to be vaccinated, have the flu shot and wash their hands. It was awful! We literally didn't go to the grocery store or leave our tiny apartment. I was extremely appreciative when my DH told his anti-flu shot dad not to visit until after he got his shot. In that case, FIL got his shot immediately (wanted to see DD) even though he'd refused to get it in the past. In a case of true anti-vaccination, I'd do what I'm comfortable with and ask DH for support in communicating the decision.

[Anonymous]

If you visit with them, insist they wear masks and use hand sanitizer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The risk is low. You can carry pertussis even if you're vaccinated for it anyway. Also, it's inappropriate to dictate risky (yes, there are risks to vaccines!) medical procedures to people.

You're overthinking this. Majorly.

Of course. But it's perfectly appropriate to decide that if the people choose not to get vaccinated, you will choose not to let them visit the baby.

(And while there are risks to vaccines, that doesn't mean that vaccines are risky. There are risks to everything. There are risks to drinking water. Do you describe drinking water as risky?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you visit with them, insist they wear masks and use hand sanitizer.

Why do this? They aren't sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The risk is low. You can carry pertussis even if you're vaccinated for it anyway. Also, it's inappropriate to dictate risky (yes, there are risks to vaccines!) medical procedures to people.

You're overthinking this. Majorly.

Of course. But it's perfectly appropriate to decide that if the people choose not to get vaccinated, you will choose not to let them visit the baby.

(And while there are risks to vaccines, that doesn't mean that vaccines are risky. There are risks to everything. There are risks to drinking water. Do you describe drinking water as risky?)

Vaccines are risky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your baby will be exposed to people who are not vaccinated unless you keep him locked up at home. The grocery store, the school, the bookstore, play groups, etc. If you or your spouse work, you are around other colleagues that may not be vaccinated. In fact, even some of the people who are vaccinated may not form proper immunity to the diseases that they are being vaccinated for (they may have weak immune systems or auto-immune issues that prevent their bodies from creating antibodies).

I don't say all this to frighten you. It's just to make you realize that there is always a certain amount of risk. You have to be careful with a newborn, but at the same time realize that your baby's actual risk is really quite low.

Personally, I would let the in-laws see the baby. Nonetheless, it is your baby and your choice. Do what you are comfortable with.

This isn't really an argument. There is such a huge difference between passing somebody in the grocery store and having relatives come in your space, touch and kiss your baby, and use your kitchen and bathroom. That said, I would just request they practice strict hygiene. The flu shot is a bad match this year so that's kind of a wash. As far as tdap, unless you live in an area with high numbers of pertussis or your ILs have to get on a plane to see you, I'd let it go. My ILs were too old for the vaccine, but what can you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The risk is low. You can carry pertussis even if you're vaccinated for it anyway. Also, it's inappropriate to dictate risky (yes, there are risks to vaccines!) medical procedures to people.

You're overthinking this. Majorly.

Of course. But it's perfectly appropriate to decide that if the people choose not to get vaccinated, you will choose not to let them visit the baby.

(And while there are risks to vaccines, that doesn't mean that vaccines are risky. There are risks to everything. There are risks to drinking water. Do you describe drinking water as risky?)

Vaccines are risky.

Vaccines have about 1 billionth the risk that your ignorance does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sort of similar situation but it is my parents and due to cancer so no refusal. My dad is stage 4 lung cancer and cannot get tdap. My mom can't get tdap if she is around him. Obviously she is his caregiver so she cannot get the shot. It is making me sick with worry. I am due in March, my father is terminal, I have no idea what I am going to do. They won't be here for the birth because dad just started another round of 5 weeks radiation. I have not even told my husband this yet. It is overwhelming me. If it was just my dad I would be okay but both... that seems too risky.

Sorry about your dad...as far as risk to baby, if you all handwash and no one coughs or sneezes on baby, risk is VERY VERY low. Like really low.