Inlaws who are anti-vax

[Anonymous]

Ha, my in-laws would no way just get a vaccination; so far, we've not met with them. But it bugs me that they are stubborn in such ways.

[Anonymous]

I do agree with you, everyone around the baby should have vaccinations.

But...it's kinda hard to check vaccination records for all the friends and family you'll have over when the baby is born. The best you can do is pass around a bottle of antibacterial soap.

[Anonymous]

7:18 here, thank you to OP and those who posted... this thread is helping me work through the issue and it makes sense that the tdap requirement is a relatively new "requirement." Good luck OP. My situation sucks but outright refusal, that stinks too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sort of similar situation but it is my parents and due to cancer so no refusal. My dad is stage 4 lung cancer and cannot get tdap. My mom can't get tdap if she is around him. Obviously she is his caregiver so she cannot get the shot. It is making me sick with worry. I am due in March, my father is terminal, I have no idea what I am going to do. They won't be here for the birth because dad just started another round of 5 weeks radiation. I have not even told my husband this yet. It is overwhelming me. If it was just my dad I would be okay but both... that seems too risky.

Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to for my mom and dad to see the baby in your situation. Its only been in the last 5 years (roughly) that adults getting tdap has been encouraged.

I think in this situation your risk is very low. Your parents probably don't get out much, so the chances that they would get pertussis themselves are very low. And the risk of passing it on is even lower. Your baby will have some immunity through the shot you got while pregnant, and March is after the peak pertussis season. I would not hesitate to have them see the baby often. Sometimes the risk is worth it.

I'm really sorry about your dad. It must be really tough.

Completely agree. I think you will regret it if your dad never gets to meet the baby. I think the benefits of having the family meet FAR outweigh the risks here, and I am the PP with the mom who lied about getting the shot. Just ask your pediatrician about precautions you might want to take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your baby, your terms.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sort of similar situation but it is my parents and due to cancer so no refusal. My dad is stage 4 lung cancer and cannot get tdap. My mom can't get tdap if she is around him. Obviously she is his caregiver so she cannot get the shot. It is making me sick with worry. I am due in March, my father is terminal, I have no idea what I am going to do. They won't be here for the birth because dad just started another round of 5 weeks radiation. I have not even told my husband this yet. It is overwhelming me. If it was just my dad I would be okay but both... that seems too risky.

Personally, I wouldn't hesitate to for my mom and dad to see the baby in your situation. Its only been in the last 5 years (roughly) that adults getting tdap has been encouraged.

I think in this situation your risk is very low. Your parents probably don't get out much, so the chances that they would get pertussis themselves are very low. And the risk of passing it on is even lower. Your baby will have some immunity through the shot you got while pregnant, and March is after the peak pertussis season. I would not hesitate to have them see the baby often. Sometimes the risk is worth it.

I'm really sorry about your dad. It must be really tough.

Completely agree. I think you will regret it if your dad never gets to meet the baby. I think the benefits of having the family meet FAR outweigh the risks here, and I am the PP with the mom who lied about getting the shot. Just ask your pediatrician about precautions you might want to take.

+1 I'm really sorry about your Dad.

[Anonymous]

Apparently they haven't seen the CDC commercials on TV noting that babies are likeliest to catch whooping cough (which can be very dangerous to infants) from family members who are not vaccinated. Someone else posted that it's not likely your in-laws would get pertussis but you have no way to know that. And the flu this year is a strain that is vicious; I know three people who have developed pneumonia directly after getting this year's flu (and they all had shots).

You also need them to have shots because people are contagious BEFORE any symptoms show, with flu and pertussis too. You can't rely on the idea that "Well, if they're not seeming ill it's fine." You can be contagious with flu for 24 hours before you show a single symptom or have a fever. If they say, "Well, this year's flu isn't covered by the vaccine so why get it at all?" they need to hear that getting the current flu shot can at least help reduce the duration and severity of the flu, even if you end up with a strain of flu that's not directly included in the vaccine.

I would have your husband tell them: They need to get a flu shot and a pertussis shot. Your husband needs to handle this with them, not you. He should not bring up "Wife's parents have done this, you must too" because that'll get them defensive and riled against your own parents. I would simply tell them that the pediatrician insists on it, due to the bad flu season this year and the fact that pertussis is most often passed along by family members who do not know they have it.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused. Did you ask them to get vaccinated and they refused?

[Anonymous]

My ILs are enthusiastic AARP members, so I try to use that site when I need to persuade them of something.

http://www.aarp.org/relationships/friends-family/info-11-2011/grandparents-need-whooping-cough-vaccine-va.html

[Anonymous]

OP here - just to clarify, they are actually militant anti-vaxxers (amongst many other weird beliefs), not just poor, downtrodden inlaws to whom I am being unfair. My DH and his siblings were never vaccinated for a single thing as children. MIL thinks it causes horrible damage despite the fact that, frankly, she just lucked out in that, in the 70s, herd immunity was still very strong. She would absolutely say we are foolish to vaccinate our kid (but knows not to bring it up). So no, we haven't asked them to get the shots, and I won't - not going down that rabbit hole. Because of distance we can control their visit timing so I simply wanted advice on the degree to which that control was necessary.

And to the PP with the ill father - I'm so very sorry. Thinking of you.

[Anonymous]

My MIL told me that vaccines are for people with weak immune system, and since she was not one of them - she did not need to be vaccinated. DH told her that I was "hormonal and crazy", thus she didi not want to mess with me. This was the only argument that made her get a Flu shot. However, since that ILs ridicule my stance on vaccines pretty much every family dinner! They believe in some sort of doctor conspiracy and cite TV shows, so I am not sure whether "hormonal and crazy" argument will fly with next time.

[Anonymous]

OP, it's probably safer to have your in-laws stay with you than to take the baby on a plane. The baby will be directly exposed to fewer people that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sort of similar situation but it is my parents and due to cancer so no refusal. My dad is stage 4 lung cancer and cannot get tdap. My mom can't get tdap if she is around him. Obviously she is his caregiver so she cannot get the shot. It is making me sick with worry. I am due in March, my father is terminal, I have no idea what I am going to do. They won't be here for the birth because dad just started another round of 5 weeks radiation. I have not even told my husband this yet. It is overwhelming me. If it was just my dad I would be okay but both... that seems too risky.

I so very sorry about your dad. Please remember that the risk for the baby is minimal, and I believe that whopping cough is more active in summer and fall rather than in winter/spring. I think your parents should see the baby and not worry about the shots.

[Anonymous]

Our winter child was born very early and spent 2 months in the NICU. We asked any family that planned to visit to get the appropriate vaccinations (flu and trap). One of my parents was difficult, but I made it very clear it was non-negotiable and (only half jokingly) requested proof. I sent my siblings the locations of places near them that offered the shots and offered to reimburse any of the family members that would not have otherwise gotten the shots. It was, admittedly, kind of dickish, but pertussis is no joke. With a full term child I may have been a bit more relaxed, but this is a bad flu season.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am in a sort of similar situation but it is my parents and due to cancer so no refusal. My dad is stage 4 lung cancer and cannot get tdap. My mom can't get tdap if she is around him. Obviously she is his caregiver so she cannot get the shot. It is making me sick with worry. I am due in March, my father is terminal, I have no idea what I am going to do. They won't be here for the birth because dad just started another round of 5 weeks radiation. I have not even told my husband this yet. It is overwhelming me. If it was just my dad I would be okay but both... that seems too risky.

I so very sorry about your dad. Please remember that the risk for the baby is minimal, and I believe that whopping cough is more active in summer and fall rather than in winter/spring. I think your parents should see the baby and not worry about the shots.

Lots of purel and some masks?